If you could give yourself oral, would you?

Lands Leaving

Thought I'd lighten the mood too.

Merry Christmas!!!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

yeah, but only if I'd showerd beforehand

EKRIUQ

I would but its so big, I could choke myself

EKRIUQ

I' sure your MA DID!!!

Package

i wouldnt put my thing near your ma's mouth, never mind me own

themadchef

BingoBongo wrote: »

I would but its so big, I could choke myself

LOL men would never work and the country would go to sh1t if that were possible. But no doubt Bingo if it is true you're never bored anyway

connundrum

Nope. Well.... no, still nope.

Crumble Froo

almost certainly.

randylonghorn

Jeez, of course!!

That's a bit like being asked if I would like to win the Lotto ...

Actually, for about 3 glorious weeks when I was ~15 \o/

Unfortunately, I then tore a muscle in my back ... and it wasn't as if the two things were connected or anything ...

<_<

>_>

l3LoWnA

Vacuum cleaner wouldn't do much for me to be honest

blue diver

IF dogs can do it why cant we

sdanseo

blue diver wrote: »

IF dogs can do it why cant we

Maybe the rest of us don't have the mindset of a dog? :rolleyes:

l3LoWnA wrote: »

Vacuum cleaner wouldn't do much for me to be honest

+1...sounds dodgy

WexCan

It's not the same doing it yourself.




Apparently.

doonothing

I dunno... I'm in two minds about this one. On one hand, it's bound to be better than ****. but it's a penis in your mouth.
But **** is a penis in your hand...
But it's a PENIS. in your MOUTH

WexCan

But it's yours...

Lands Leaving

l3LoWnA wrote: »

Vacuum cleaner wouldn't do much for me to be honest

That option wasn't really for the wimmins, you have vibrators as the equivalent. or something, I'm not an authority on womens sex toys

scruff321

ha gas,easy answer tho!

Agamemnon

mmmmfff gmmmm mmmmm mmmmfffff *cough*

WexCan

That's the spirit.

monkeyfudge

Who says I can't do it?

I'm a very talented man...

Lands Leaving

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Who says I can't do it?

I'm a very talented man...

I was thinking pics, but no, I'll take your word for it.

l3LoWnA

Lands Leaving wrote: »

That option wasn't really for the wimmins, you have vibrators as the equivalent. or something, I'm not an authority on womens sex toys

We really have far better options that you guys though, dont we - lucky us

Zippitydoo

There was a rumour floating around when I was a kid that Prince got his lower ribs removed so he could suck himself off- any truth to that?

WexCan

Women: Vibrators
Men: Blow up dolls.

Women win in the sex-toy availability stakes methinks.

monkeyfudge

I once saw a video of Michael Flatley giving himself oral...

unreggd

I can, but wouldnt

WexCan

Zippitydoo wrote: »

There was a rumour floating around when I was a kid that Prince got his lower ribs removed so he could suck himself off- any truth to that?

Not really the ribs that stop you, more upper back. Didn't even know you could have ribs removed. Big fat lie I'd say.

Lands Leaving

l3LoWnA wrote: »

We really have far better options that you guys though, dont we - lucky us

Ah ol lefty's fairly reliable, cheap too, and no batteries. Just need to watch out for cramp! :D

WexCan

unreggd wrote: »

I can, but wouldnt

So how do you know you can

l3LoWnA

Lands Leaving wrote: »

Ah ol lefty's fairly reliable, cheap too, and no batteries. Just need to watch out for cramp! :D

But I'm talking about other inanimate helpers!!

Anyone want me to bake them a big slushy wooshy, soft and gushy apple tart?

Lands Leaving

l3LoWnA wrote: »

But I'm talking about other inanimate helpers!!

Anyone want me to bake them a big slushy wooshy, soft and gushy apple tart?

I'd hit that.

I mean eat, eat!

randylonghorn

doonothing wrote: »

I dunno... I'm in two minds about this one. On one hand, it's bound to be better than ****. but it's a penis in your mouth.
But **** is a penis in your hand...
But it's a PENIS. in your MOUTH

And do you really think you would care after 10 seconds when Junior started to feel oh so good?!

Actually, just strikes me, if every man COULD do this, there would probably be much less homophobia in the world ...

WexCan wrote: »

But it's yours...

+1

agamemnon wrote: »

mmmmfff gmmmm mmmmm mmmmfffff *cough*

Degsy?

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Who says I can't do it?

I'm a very talented man...

So why do you keep the monkey?

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I once saw a video of Michael Flatley giving himself oral...

>.<

Well, every time he opens his mouth he (metaphorically) gives himself a bj, so I suppose we shouldn't be surprised ...

unreggd wrote: »

I can, but wouldnt

No offence intended, mate, but ... eejit!!

WexCan wrote: »

Not really the ribs that stop you, more upper back.

QFT, see above.

Jesus Wept

T'would be like tickling yourself.

That is all.

l3LoWnA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autofellatio

there's even a pic of the guy actually doing it! So there ye go lads, there's your homework!!

*sits back and waits for all the boardsie males to start awkwardly manoevering and falling off their chairs....etc....just....a...little....bit....farther.....give up?*

I particularly enjoyed this bit:-

Most men do not possess sufficient flexibility and/or penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend

So there's the proof - if you can't do it - you've got a small dick!

Lands Leaving

Says to try yoga... interesting.

Sting can probably do it then.

l3LoWnA

Lands Leaving wrote: »

Says to try yoga... interesting.

Sting can probably do it then.

I'd say that man can do just about anything when it comes to sEx *swooon*

enda_4

Doesnt Roy Keane do yoga! :eek:

Jigsaw

I'd be tempted but I certainly wouldn't swallow.

Jesus Wept

What would estebancambias have to say about all this?

Bring him back, let's see.

The Real B-man

Kinda takes away from the whole pleasure like trying to tickle yourself its not the same when ya do it yourself

il gatto

Might taste of frottage cheese:D I wouldn't kiss the missus afterwards until she'd gargled with Listerine.

Dave!

I'm doing it right now!

KTRIC

I'd like to step this up and notch and put the question out there:

If you could give yourself oral, would you spit or swallow ? :eek:

Wossack

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I once saw a video of Michael Flatley giving himself oral...

I think you'll find he had his head up his own arse - somewhat different

cance

KTRIC wrote: »

If you could give yourself oral, would you spit or swallow ? :eek:

i'm all for a joke, but its far too early in the morning for that carry on!!!! :eek:

/sips coffee.

jester77

If only I had the ca$h to have that darn last rib removed!

Dave!

jester77 wrote: »

If only I had the ca$h to have that darn last rib removed!

I had ALL my ribs removed, so that I could deep-throat! My internal organs are fairly exposed, but it's totally worth it!

azezil

Sucking on a cock... sounds kinda gay to me.

Pompey Magnus

As Bill Hicks said:

"Are there actually women in the world who do not like to give blow jobs? See a lot of guys on dates got their fingers crossed here tonight ... "Answer him, honey, go ahead. Let's hear how you feel about this right now." A woman one night yelled out, "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said, "Yeah. Almost broke my back." It's that one vertebrae, I swear to God, it's that close. I think that vertebrae is going to be the thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory and a fervent prayer! Yeah, now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's a devil-child." That may be true, but guys ... yyyou know what I'm talking about. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now ......... watching an empty stage."

KTRIC

azezil wrote: »

Sucking on a cock... sounds kinda gay to me.

It does, doesn't it

I knew it would only be a while before Azezil came in here and started his whole anti-cock sucking rant. :rolleyes:

Jigsaw

Hard to beat an aul suck on the cock