loving to distraction

LegacyUser

Just after breaking up with a bf of a year and a half.
it was a whirlwind and from the very first second we were stuck together.

we had a lot of passion and fought a lot but also loved alot and did everything together. im still every much in love but he broke up with me cause he could take the drama anymore.
im a student in Tcd and jus completing my final year and dont need any distractions but he's all i think about and would love another chance.
he's leaving in the summer to go traveling, but says that maybe in the future we can try again. i dont wanna be on his string but im very much caught up and cant move on.
he keeps pushing me away and its killing me
what do i do? anyone else ever in this situation?

humanji

Go out with your friends and have fun. Keep youself occupied and busy so you're not leaving your mind to wander. You'll get over him eventually, just don't keep pining for him. It gets easier.

Cathmandooo

lovesick wrote: »

Just after breaking up with a bf of a year and a half.
it was a whirlwind and from the very first second we were stuck together.

we had a lot of passion and fought a lot but also loved alot and did everything together. im still every much in love but he broke up with me cause he could take the drama anymore.
im a student in Tcd and jus completing my final year and dont need any distractions but he's all i think about and would love another chance.
he's leaving in the summer to go traveling, but says that maybe in the future we can try again. i dont wanna be on his string but im very much caught up and cant move on.
he keeps pushing me away and its killing me
what do i do? anyone else ever in this situation?

When you say you just broke up, how long are we talking? Because it takes a long time to get over somebody you loved and it's very difficult.

Forget that he said that you two might hook up again in the future, people only say that to soften the blow, you cant hold out hope that you'll get back together if he has no interest in it at the moment.

Best thing you can do is cut all contact with him so you can start moving on. Concentrate on your studies and use your family and friends to help you get through the hard times. I'm sure you'll find a lot of them have been through something similar.

Keep your chin up and try your best to put him in your past.

CoffeeAndTV

Cut all contact with him including all online media sites etc.

Delete all pics, videos and delete his number.

Then occupy yourself with your friends. DON'T spend all your time talking about him to your friends. You need to forget about him asap.

I know it's all very easy to say, but honestly it's the best way to do it.

Wibbs

CoffeeAndTV wrote: »

Cut all contact with him including all online media sites etc.

Delete all pics, videos and delete his number.

Then occupy yourself with your friends. DON'T spend all your time talking about him to your friends. You need to forget about him asap.

I know it's all very easy to say, but honestly it's the best way to do it.

Exactly and although it may go against logic, moving on is probably the best chance of having any chance with him in the future. Letting him go is the best chance of getting him back and certainly the best way to get yourself back to normal. It certainly increases your chances of a successful relationship with the next guy, whether it's him or not.

Of the couples I know that have rekindled their relationship successfully every single one of them moved on. Getting back together was just a bonus and they would have probably been just as happy if they had met someone else.

Him saying there may be a chance in the future, is partially a way of softening the blow, it's usually more of a case of him keeping his options open too. Don't fall into the friends with benefits trap, if his single life doesn't pan out the way he thought. That could happen.

Either way moving forward is the way to go.

Miss Fluff

He wants to go travelling and has made plans to do so. What if you get together and then he leaves before summertime to go travelling? Just when your finals are upon you? Girl, it may or not happen between you. Until then you only have five months to have the best time you possibly can while you remain in college, love life to the max and try and get some study done for your finals.

I will concede that it is an unadulterated cliche but if it's meant to be it's meant to be and until then you have an awful lot to be getting on with, i.e. sleeping with your best mate/giving "grinds" to freshers/making an exhibition of yourself in public/not paying tax and GETTING YOUR FRIGGING FINALS.

You know what? It would be a lot more empowering for you at this juncture to say to him ok, let's hook up when you get back and just leave it at that. Why torture yourself? Yes, it could work out between you and if so then a few months being incommunicado will not damage things adversely but to spend your time pining over someone (someone who even in a year's time you may consider a waste of space) is so foolish. I'm not being unsympathic or horrid but he did dump you and has said exactly what he intends to do with his life in the coming months. All I'm saying is get on with yours in the meantime and forget about him. For now

mostlycircles

Hi there!
Well listen im in the same boat....except that we havnt broken up yet. I already feel like its the best option but i love him too much!
Anywho i know how u feel...but i guess the best thing for u to do is just move on. i mean it seems like he needs space, so maybe give it to him. Maybe you do too?? Time is a great healer...and although it can be long and painful the hurt wont last forever. Concentrate on ur finals as this will help keep ur mind off things and you know they come before everything atm anyway!! If its meant to be itll be. easier said than done, but true. be strong and patient and destiny will take its course..!
Good luck and id love to hear an update..

MollyCoddle

A guy tells you you 'might' have a chance with him in the future? How very thoughtful of him.

Seriously, however much you love him, you need to be realistic about this. He doesn't want to be with you. Whatever about drama, or maybe giving you a chance later, he's decided that you're not 'it' for him. Why should you be upset about that - you can't change it. You don't have to hate him (tho it helps when getting over someone lol) but it's something outside of your control here. Accept you had a good time, but in the end it wasn't right for you to be with him. Eventually you'll find someone who it is right with.

And focus on your last year at college or you will end up hating him