Postnatal Depression

LegacyUser

I've recently been diagnosed with postnatal depression, I have been feeling extremely irritable, suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, as well as feeling extremely low most of the time, sometimes even suicidal. I have been prescribed Lexapro but it's early days and i've yet to feel any benefit. I suppose I am looking to hear from anyone with experience of the same kind of thing, to help me realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Many thanks.

girlwitcurls

hiya you can get through this give everything time to work. my little girl is two now and im happy out. it wasnt easy but keep your wits about you. talk to your gp your family your friends. cry when you need to dont keep it in . best wishes x

Nevyn

Lexapro can take a while to get into you system.

Post natal depression is very hard been there myself twice, you have to mind yourself and keep givign yourself the breaks you need. Don't let your own expectations cripple you do as much as you can and as long as your child's needs are being meet then sod the kitchen floor if it needs washing.

Take time to find joy in simple things, have a bath, make time just for you to sit and have a cup of tea/coffee and not do anything else. Will you be doing counselling as well ?

Moss

Lexapro is a very effective SSRI antidepressant. If that doesn't work after about 6 weeks a second antidepressant of a different class will be tried, probably a tricycle antidepressant. If in the unlikely case that that doesn't work either the antidepressant will be supplemented with lithium. It would be extremely unusual for a severe depression not to respond to one or other of these combined antidepressant combinations. It could take up to three months to find the right combination, so hang in there. Follow the advice of your psychiatrist to the letter and you will get better.

redfacedbear

Very sorry to hear this OP. My wife went through the same thing - I know how tough it is.

As has been said, Lexapro does take its time to build up an effect - but it will happen.

At this stage all is well for us and we can look back on that time and breath a sigh of relief that it is over - you will get to do this too! In the meantime take as much 'me time' as you can get, look after yourself and the child first and only do more than that if you can - if you can't don't sweat it.

leex

Two people I know very well went through a tough time with this. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I don't know if it helps but you will realise down the road that you would go through it all again in order to have your little bundle of joy.

As previous posters have said you need time for YOU. Even when with your child on your own it is not good to "mope" around the house. Make yourself visit family/friends who you can chat to for an hour. Go for a walk. Have something to look forward to in the evenings or weekend, even go for some pub grub with your partner and baby - less intimidating than a restaurant when you're feeling down and nobody will take much notice of you.

Would recommend looking at acupuncture also.

LegacyUser

I am in the same boat as you, i was diagnosed with PND about 2 months ago. At first i dint realise what was wrong, i was just crying all the time i had terrible mood swings ect. I didnt tell my partner or any of my family because they all thought i was doing such a great job being a mother i didnt want to leave the down.
But i was getting so bad i eventually went to my gp, it felt like a weight was lifted from me when i started talking about how i was feeling. She made an appointment for me to see a physchiatrist who put me on antidepressents.
I have been on them a month now and i am starting to feel better, i have started to leave the house some days which is huge for me because i was afraid to even bring the baby outside.
I have told my family what has been going on they have been great, they have started to help alot more and i have realised i am not superwoman and cant do everything my self.
I am still having some very bad days but i am hoping with time it will get better.

LegacyUser

me too wrote: »

I am in the same boat as you, i was diagnosed with PND about 2 months ago. At first i dint realise what was wrong, i was just crying all the time i had terrible mood swings ect. I didnt tell my partner or any of my family because they all thought i was doing such a great job being a mother i didnt want to leave the down.
But i was getting so bad i eventually went to my gp, it felt like a weight was lifted from me when i started talking about how i was feeling. She made an appointment for me to see a physchiatrist who put me on antidepressents.
I have been on them a month now and i am starting to feel better, i have started to leave the house some days which is huge for me because i was afraid to even bring the baby outside.
I have told my family what has been going on they have been great, they have started to help alot more and i have realised i am not superwoman and cant do everything my self.
I am still having some very bad days but i am hoping with time it will get better.

Really sorry to hear that you're suffering with it too. How old was your baby when it started? My little boy is 4 months now but i think it all started about 2 months ago for me, like you I wasnt sure what it was at first, i'd been through a tough pregnancy, had to have a c-section because i have (and still have) symphysis pubis disorder, and my baby was almost 12lbs so that in itself was very tough on my body. I also developed some infections after the birth, one resulting in surgery, i'm still recovering from that as it was very debilitating, and it meant i had to give up some hobbies i had started and also i was house and bed bound for quite a while so couldnt go out and socialise etc. During this time my family were a huge help but it did mean being separated from my baby for most of this time. I still can't do simple pleasures like have a bath or bring my baby swimming which i've been dying to do since he was born! Even having a shower is an ordeal. Unfortunately i may have to go through more surgery in the new year, which will mean another few months recovery time, so the future isn't looking all that bright. I also chose not to tell my family, for the same reasons, which i know is a bad idea, although i have told my husband and one good friend who are a great support.

Thaedydal my GP didn't mention counselling at all to me, he just prescribed the antidepressents for 6 months to a year. Did you go to counselling and how did you find it?

Thanks to everybody else for all the kind words and encouragement, they're much appreciated.

Leila4

Sounds like you've had a very tough time of it! Do hang in there though, it does get better with time.

LegacyUser

UnregMum wrote: »

Really sorry to hear that you're suffering with it too. How old was your baby when it started? My little boy is 4 months now but i think it all started about 2 months ago for me, like you I wasnt sure what it was at first, i'd been through a tough pregnancy, had to have a c-section because i have (and still have) symphysis pubis disorder, and my baby was almost 12lbs so that in itself was very tough on my body. I also developed some infections after the birth, one resulting in surgery, i'm still recovering from that as it was very debilitating, and it meant i had to give up some hobbies i had started and also i was house and bed bound for quite a while so couldnt go out and socialise etc. During this time my family were a huge help but it did mean being separated from my baby for most of this time. I still can't do simple pleasures like have a bath or bring my baby swimming which i've been dying to do since he was born! Even having a shower is an ordeal. Unfortunately i may have to go through more surgery in the new year, which will mean another few months recovery time, so the future isn't looking all that bright. I also chose not to tell my family, for the same reasons, which i know is a bad idea, although i have told my husband and one good friend who are a great support.

Thaedydal my GP didn't mention counselling at all to me, he just prescribed the antidepressents for 6 months to a year. Did you go to counselling and how did you find it?

Thanks to everybody else for all the kind words and encouragement, they're much appreciated.

My baby is 6 months old but i think it really started when he was 2 months old. You sound just like me I had very bad SPD from 20 weeks pregnant. I was on crutches for twenty weeks i was in agony. I had an emergency c section and i was pretty traumatised by the whole pregnancy ordeal i dont think i would ever do it again.
You are lucky you have understanding friends, none of my friends have come near me since i had the baby, they havent even seen him, so it is really lonely, I don't think anyone can prepare you for how much your life can change.
I'm not going to counselling, my partner thinks i should but i'm just not one for talking.
Someone reccomended going to Mother and baby classes, i think i will try that, have you done anything like that?
My SPD went after i had him, i can imagine what you are going through if you are still suffering from it, you feel guilty because you cant do what you imagined what you would do when you had the baby thats how i feel, like I'm leaving my baby down because i can't do everything.

LegacyUser

The mother and baby classes would be a great idea, i took a baby massage class, run in the local school, back when he was only a month old, before all this, and met a few really nice people. The class has since ended but we still meet up weekly, which is a little hard for me at the moment, but with enough babies around people are easily distracted..

I understand what you mean about never wanting to go through it again, I am the same, I don't want my son to grow up an only child, but i really dread the thought of going through another year like this ever again

embee

me too wrote: »

Someone reccomended going to Mother and baby classes, i think i will try that, have you done anything like that?

Hi,

Mother and baby classes are a good idea if you are feeling low and are suffering from PND. I never had post-natal depression, but after the birth of my daughter I had some very low times where I felt isolated and lonely. It wasn't PND as I wasn't feeling like this all the time... just every now and then I would be sad. I started going to a Mother and baby class, which helped enormously. You may find other Mums going through the same thing as you, and it is great to talk to other people in your situation. For me personally, it was more the act of getting out of the house with the baby and doing other stuff that I enjoyed - it can be very easy to turn into a hermit when you're at home with a new baby.

Good luck

LegacyUser

Well things hit rock bottom last night. I'd been on my own with the baby since 9am as my husband had his christmas party straight after work. He screamed non stop from about half 8 til after 11 and I completely lost it with him. I screamed and shouted and terrified the poor child and i feel so guilty when i think of his face. I ended up a trembling wreck under the duvet by the end of it, not able to deal with his hysterics. To top it all off my 'friend' said he can't help me anymore and my husband passed out on the couch leading me to think he hadn't come home (it wouldn't have been the first time when alcohol is involved) so i lay awake since a quarter to 6 worrying about him. So i feel totally alone now. I can't cope anymore and i don't know how much more of this i can take.

embee

UnregMum wrote: »

Well things hit rock bottom last night. I'd been on my own with the baby since 9am as my husband had his christmas party straight after work. He screamed non stop from about half 8 til after 11 and I completely lost it with him. I screamed and shouted and terrified the poor child and i feel so guilty when i think of his face. I ended up a trembling wreck under the duvet by the end of it, not able to deal with his hysterics. To top it all off my 'friend' said he can't help me anymore and my husband passed out on the couch leading me to think he hadn't come home (it wouldn't have been the first time when alcohol is involved) so i lay awake since a quarter to 6 worrying about him. So i feel totally alone now. I can't cope anymore and i don't know how much more of this i can take.

UnregMum,

I would advise you to make an appointment asap to see your GP. You need to tell him that you are not coping (tell him about losing your cool and screaming at the baby, about trembling under the duvet etc.. he needs a clearer picture of what is happening to you), and I would hope that if he is any use at all, he would put you in touch with a counselling service as a matter of urgency.

This just can't go on for you. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own and I do think that you need to talk to a counsellor asap. Your husband must have a sense that all is not right with you - perhaps you need to sit him down and tell him how fraught you are, that you are not coping and that him staying out all night after getting steaming drunk is aggravating the situation.

We are all here if you need to vent, but I really think that you need to talk both to your husband and to someone in a professional capacity.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Reading this thread makes me think I may have it too. I have had six months of broken sleep and have been on my own with the baby everyday since he was born. Father has seen him a couple times.

I have some very bad dark days. I have suicidal fantasies but then I dont know what would happen to the baby if I did end it. It seems so selfish do to that. I think I could give him up for adoption and then do something but Id be afraid of failing and ending up with braindamage or something worse. And the legacy that would leave to my child is really unconcionable.

Im afraid to seek help incase it goes on record that I have mental health problems and the babys father uses it against me in a court case. He would be spiteful enough to sue for full custody and then not bother taking the baby.

Is it a case of cumulative exhaustion and no alone time or headspace?

embee

me too?? wrote: »

Reading this thread makes me think I may have it too. I have had six months of broken sleep and have been on my own with the baby everyday since he was born. Father has seen him a couple times.

I have some very bad dark days. I have suicidal fantasies but then I dont know what would happen to the baby if I did end it. It seems so selfish do to that. I think I could give him up for adoption and then do something but Id be afraid of failing and ending up with braindamage or something worse. And the legacy that would leave to my child is really unconcionable.

Im afraid to seek help incase it goes on record that I have mental health problems and the babys father uses it against me in a court case. He would be spiteful enough to sue for full custody and then not bother taking the baby.

Is it a case of cumulative exhaustion and no alone time or headspace?

me too??,

I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time. My advice to you is exactly what I have already said to UnregMum - you need to talk to your GP and you need to do it asap. Harbouring suicidal thoughts is not within the boundaries of cumulative exhaustion or anything like that. It does sound like you have PND (though this can only be confirmed by your GP, who could then put you in touch with a counsellor).

Any GP or counsellor you talk to will be in strictest confidence. Please don't seek help because you are afraid of a custody battle from your ex. Your child is six months old and his Dad has seen him a couple of times - he doesn't seem like he is that interested in the child and the fact he's seen the baby twice in 6 months will not help his case were he to go to court.

This is a serious situation for you and you need to seek help immediately. If you feel your son is in danger (due to the feelings you are having) then perhaps you should talk to your family and maybe ask for their help. Your son's welfare is at stake here - even though you are in a dark place at the moment he still identifies you as his Mother and he needs you.

Please, please, please seek help - today if possible. Christmas is a lonely time for a lot of people but loneliness on top of what you are already feeling is bound to polarise your mood and make you feel lower still.

I know the weekend is upon us, but it may even be worth your while to talk to the Samaritans. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and sometimes just talking to someone can make you see that life is still worth living. The service is also 100% confidential.

Phone : 1850 60 90 90
email : jo@samaritans.org

Best of luck with it - I will be thinking of you. Post back here if you need to vent - it does help just to talk about it.

Quality

My best friend had a very bad bout of this. She was sectioned and spent 3 weeks in hospital, She had the best support around her, but she couldnt help but fall apart.

I have to say it took her a while but she is well back to her vibrant self now. Her baby is a year now.

It is such a traumatic time having a baby.

The good thing is that you have been diagnosed, Dont be afraid to tell people how you are feeling. It will take a couple of weeks for the drugs to kick in, In the meantime, Try and get out for little walks. Take a little time out on your own. And make sure you talk to your partner or friends. A problem shared is a problem halved.

I hope you are feeling better soon and that in a couple of months time, you are on here sharing your experiences and prooving that having post natal is only short term and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

x x x

cuddles for your baby, and for you!!

Ickle Magoo

I had PND after my first child...the only advice I can give is talk. Talk to your family, your GP, friends, a councellor, a diary, everything & everyone. It's so much worse when you feel secretive & isolated. I became very agoraphobic & internalised & it was only when I forced (and I mean literally forced!) myself to get out to a parent & baby group, told my family & had a really good open heart to heart with my husband (which included him reading a book about PND) that things started to improve.

me too??, deep dark thoughts are very common with PND. Thinking them & acting on them are two different things tho. If you think it & then are ashamed & embarrassed for even thinking it then that is very normal & you should still approach your GP/PHN and tell them you think you have PND. If you actually feel like doing anything to hurt your son then you need to tell someone. It is also very common to feel that way with PND & it's much better to tell family/friends/PHN than ever risk anything happening.

Again, get in touch with other mums, drag yourself out the house - exercise is the best tool against depression & you will feel so much more normal if you get to chat to other mums about their experiences. There are very good depression forums on MagicMum.com & EUMum.com if you want to chat to people who understand what you are going through. Get help, get better - best of luck!