My Friend

Peyton Manning

I havent been around here a whole lot this week. Im not really looking for advice, just wanted to say some things as Im much better at typing than I am at talking, and Id rather not put faces to the names that hear me.

A good friend of mine was killed in a car crash on tuesday night. His name was Thomas, or Tommy to his friends. I went to school with him for 5 years as he left in 5th year to pursue an apprenticeship. He was a quiet chap but theres nobody that knows him that can say a bad word about him. He was never a friend that I could talk to if I had a problem, or vice versa, and we never really hung out after school except for extra curricular stuff like trips, but whenever we were paired together in any situation. we always had a laugh. I sat beside him in 2 subjects, and I never didn't look forward to going to those classes. We had our own wee private jokes. He had the funniest sneeze, I always told him he sneezed like a mouse. One time he farted in class and we both laughed our heads off for ages because it was the most high pitched flatulence you've ever heard - like the clink of 2 glasses during a toast. We went on a trip to France together as part of a group of 10 and Im sure he had a great time there as I did. Me, him and a couple of other guys in our class went through a phase of collecting miniature fantasy battle figures - Lord of the Rings ones actually - and we'd go through the fortnightly magazine each Thursday when it came out. When he stopped collecting them a year later, he gave his miniatures to me. We also had a running joke that seeing as I was seen as one of the jokers of the class, that I had taken him under my wing as a protige - it was really funny what we'd get up to. He'd also be the first to tell you he was crap at sports - he'd kick the ball like the way the kid in Karate Kid does his special kick, raising his arms and standing on one foot. He didnt do this intentionally for laughs, it was all genuine!

My memories of him are that he was the most harmless person you could find - a genuinely good guy. I had only seen him a couple of times in the past 2 years due to him leaving school and myself going to university. One of those times was at our Debs - people who left still got an invite. Over the year that he had left, he got mad into cars and dance music - yes, that whole scene! He grew up a lot (physically and mentally). He grew about a foot in a year, it was great to see him though. He had some news for us all - he had gotten his dream modified car, was engaged to his girlfriend who was also pregnant. Yeah, he was young and it all seemed a bit much, but he was happy so who were we to argue? Im not sure what he got up to over the last year since then, but he got a new car, he had a new girlfriend apparently (not sure what happened there) but was still working away with his apprenticeship. He loved cars, and fast cars even more. His bebo was full of photo albums of modified car shows and the like. Im not sure how the crash happened - apparently a big flood played a part but I dont want to know either. All I do know is that it really hurts to picture him in pain after the crash - crying, screaming and ultimately dieing. I dont think being close to Christmas makes a death worse really - a death is as bad as it can get in my books. It just makes it harder to take that those close to him including myself cant enjoy it as much knowing a friend of ours has just passed. Tommy would also be celebrating his 20th birthday at the end of the month.

I'll be going to the funeral in 9 hours time - Ive never been to a funeral of a friend before. In 10 hours time, my old friend Tommy will be buried in front of us, and I will miss him immensely.

Rest in peace buddy - you may have left us but I bet you still sneeze like a mouse buddy

HashSlinging

Sorry for your loss mate, keep the chin up, and do what you can for the girlfriend and his baby, he lives on through the baby.

ironictoaster

Great post

R.I.P Tommy

Skyuser

Nice.

SW81

Great tribute to Tommy, Archimedes. RIP.

yermandan

Wonderfully articulate post and a fitting tribute to your friend mate. May he rest in peace. Take good care of yourself over the next while, make sure you are surrounded by people that you can talk to about it whenever you need to. Dont suffer in silence.

Dan

Jeapy

Try not to focus on how he died, just stick to all those lovely memories. RIP

l3LoWnA

Lovely post - so many young people dying tragically. I can't even count how many lads I know who've been obsessed with cars and fast cars and have died because of their reckless passion (I'm not saying your friend was reckless, it may have merely been bad luck) It's so sad.

I hope his girlfriend gets through this ok - the poor thing, and his family of course. As above, try not to think about how he died, as his pain is over now, only dwell on the good memories.

RIP Tommy

_blank_

Oh god.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend Archimedes.

I lost a very close friend three and a half years ago, he drowned while away on holidays.

It was the worst time of my life, and I know I'll end up crying on Xmas day.

I still can't believe he's gone, but I can still hear his laugh, still know when he would have found something so funny that he'd be laughing for ages. Still remember the fights we had, still remember how close we got when I got him a job in the place I was working.

Yeah, it's a really, really sad time, but the best thing to do is remember the good times. Get together with everyone who knew him and just remember. Help each other.

RIP.

beertons

Nice

Peyton Manning

Thanks for the replies people.

The funeral was this morning, it was really upsetting. I hadnt seen him in a few months, so to see a picture of him on top of the coffin really got to me. He was so happy in the picture, a huge smile on his face. His family were in bits, sobbing and crying throughout the whole thing. His friends brought up things to the coffin that were important to him, like his Subaru jacket. I didnt like the funeral at all. Its hard to see it as a celebration of life rather than a mourning of death when the deceased is so young and close to you. Its gonna be a tough time for his family - it was his grandmothers birthday today (she died earlier this year) and it would be his birthday on Christmas Eve.

Im just distracting myself really by watching football, and I have a lot of course work to keep my mind off of things, just had to vent some of it here first. Thanks again.

Arc

bronte

That's so sad. I hope you're looking after yourself.
That was a beautiful post, you have many wonderful memories of him.
Look after yourself.
R.i.p.

randylonghorn

Archimedes wrote: »

Its hard to see it as a celebration of life rather than a mourning of death when the deceased is so young and close to you.

Have buried two close friends, and no, I don't remember the funerals as celebrations of life, but as occasions of grief, tears and loneliness. But they can help to vent some of that pain ...

The celebration of life comes later, imho, as Des suggests ...

DesF wrote: »

Get together with everyone who knew him and just remember.

Why not get together with some of your mutual friends, maybe after Christmas, have a couple of drinks, spend some time remembering? Remember the good times, the silly things, the jokes, the things he was proud of ... the times he goofed up! Let there be lots of laughter, and if there are a few tears, as there probably will be, wtf?

Wherever Tommy is, may his afterlife be filled with Ferraris and hawt women!

DesF wrote: »

I can still hear his laugh, still know when he would have found something so funny that he'd be laughing for ages.

Still turn to share a joke / remind yourself to tell him later, only to remember you can't? Me too.

ciaran76

Going to break my rule of posting to give advise in here unless its fact.
Anyway Archimedes that was a great post that even made me feel like I knew Tommy.

You wll never know what happened so just remember the good times ye had together and I am sure thats how he would have wanted it.

Again great post as everyone of us have similar friends to Tommy and we dont realise it till something like this happens.

Take care of yourself.

tbh

Archimedes wrote: »

One time he farted in class and we both laughed our heads off for ages because it was the most high pitched flatulence you've ever heard - like the clink of 2 glasses during a toast.

lol - cracked up laughing at that - that's the way to remember him mate

highlydebased

Sorry to hear this dude

girlwitcurls

beautifully written x remember the good times not the sad times