Euro - English, to replace German as official eu language

supertramp

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".



In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

AlmightyCushion

supertramp wrote: »

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.

No we wouldn't, we'd still be speaking English just with a terrible German accent.

Dave!

L31mr0d

ah I love when new people come across long dead memes... breaths stale life back into the internet... anyone got some lolcatz, what about some SWK videos

Rob_l

OP for a thread as such please cite some official sources otherwise mods lock this ****e

Smellyirishman

L31mr0d wrote: »

lolcats

Lolcats aren't dead! You take that back right now!

Unless you can inform me of the meme that killed the cat? And it wasn't curiosity-lols.

Rob_l

Rob_l wrote: »

OP for a thread as such please cite some official sources otherwise mods lock this ****e

Huh?...........

*taps sacrcasm detector, puzzled*

nope, nothing...I'm tempted to ask if you are taking the piss rob, but something tells me you aren't, so I'm going to assume it based on your request that this be locked.

crosstownk

OP - that's ancient. Humourous (mildly) when I heard it first but not any more.

Rob_l

Deleted User wrote: »

Huh?...........

*taps sacrcasm detector, puzzled*

nope, nothing...I'm tempted to ask if you are taking the piss rob, but something tells me you aren't, so I'm going to assume it based on your request that this be locked.

see jebus i didn't read beyond the first line
and now that i have send it to humor and lock the thread this is more bullshiat

sorry shifty i cant read ****e

AlmightyCushion

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

No we wouldn't, we'd still be speaking English just with a terrible German accent.

Das ist vorschriftsmäßig!!

Be even funnier if Germany adopted Irish as their official language.


Go raibh maith agat (gesuntheit!!);)

L31mr0d

Smellyirishman wrote: »

Lolcats aren't dead! You take that back right now!

sorry did I say dead, I meant trite