Have car, have had lessons, still afraid to drive

LuckyStar

Hi guys

I have my own car, I have had 6 lessons with 6 more to go, and I am still scared of driving. I am not too bad once I'm actually on the road but actually getting behind the wheel scares me. The first time I ever tried to start my car on my own, I drove it through an 8ft metal gate and stopped just short of a 5 ft pile of bricks. I had the car in gear instead of neutral and I am still terrified about it happening again, even though starting the car is becoming much more automatic for me. I have had bad experiences while out driving, the last time I drove, I did not go at the green light within 0.2 seconds so the driver behind me beeped at me, tail gated me, rear ended me, opened my car door and shouted and laughed at me.
I dread traffic lights because I am scared I will not be able to take off fast enough so I end up cutting out the engine as well.

I am terrified of being caught in traffic, because I am scared I will either cut out, or surge forward into the car in front.
I have not learned hill starts yet, I live on top of a steep hill and the one time I tried a hill start (was stuck in traffic) the car went backwards.
I don't know reversing or parking.

I just want to be able to go for a drive to a friend's house like everybody else, I want to go shopping in my car rather than wreck my arms carrying heavy bags around town on the way to Connolly station.

cazzy

You shouldn't go out driving on your own or without a professional/good driver until you have had more lessons. Some of those things are dangerous - if you cant do a hill start properly you could roll back and hit a pedestrian crossing behind you.

I'd keep gettign professional lessons until you feel more comfortable - maybe get some 2 hour lessons. Dont drive on your own until you are fully competent. Make sure you get an instructor that you are comfortable with - look for one that welcomes nervous pupils. It will make a world of difference if you have a good instructor that you are comfortable with.
Some people need more than 12 lessons - some take to driving like a duck in water and need only a few.

Dont mind people beeping at you for being slow or taking off slowly. Ignore them. Its just ignorence.

Good luck with it - you will find that when you get over your nerves and get comfortable with the car and become better at observations etc you will wonder why you were so nervous to begin with !!!!

Nightwish

I was the world most petrified driver. I post a thread here a few months ago, when I bought a car and left it sitting outside the house for 2 months. I crashed a car the first time I drove too, a few years ago, and stopped driving. I then got lessons for my birthday at 19 or 20 and my instructor dropped dead right after one of my lessons. I used to cancel lessons because my nerves were at me so much I'd be physically sick. I cried during lessons too (childish I know) but my point being, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

At the moment I've taken 7 lessons and am still taking them every week. I drive 2.5 miles to work and home again every evening. Even though its a 10 min drive, I still leave at 8am (to be in for 9) as I am afraid of traffic. I find many drivers are very impatient to L drivers. Ive cut out on roundabouts, put the car into the wrong gear, but you just get on with it. I am still quite nervous - I get a sick feeling at around 3pm each afternoon at the thought of the drive home at 5, as its extremely busy at that time. Last week my confidence was shook even more when my car broke down on a roundabout at rush hour and people were beeping me left right and centre. Believe me, it feels good to just f*ck someone out of it by screaming at them!

I know I rambled on a bit, but I really do understand your situation, and I have to reassure myself everytime I get into my car that this time, I'll be better, and that I do have control over the car. Keep taking those lessons, and ensure that your instructor is the right one for you too. Theres no point taking 12 lessons from someone if you're not getting better. If you feel theres no improvement, change instructors. My one is great, and keeps reassuring me. Yesterday I drove through the centre of town during the 6pm rush hour during my lesson, something I wouldnt have done even 2 weeks ago.

MDTyKe

I'm learning too at the moment, and I must admit I am enjoying it. But I know it's not like that for everyone.

The main thing is to think positive, and don't put yourself down. If you do, you probably will end up suffering anxiety and making the whole thing worse - and you'll often find people worry over nothing.

I know some people who have failed their test because of ridiculous things like mounting a kerb, flying into a pile of wheelie bins etc. I recently heard some woman tell me her driving instructor took a heart attack and died (of no fault of hers).. and if she can get over it - you can get over a slow start! You'll be laughing at the L's yourself before you know it.


Matt

Stark

MDTyKe wrote: »

I know some people who have failed their test because of ridiculous things like mounting a kerb, flying into a pile of wheelie bins etc.

Sounds about one step away from running down pedestrians on the footpath.

OP, keep taking the lessons. There's an awful lot to take in, but like any skill, it will eventually seem natural. And don't get into a car on your own until you're absolutely ready.

sdanseo

Without meaning to sound clichéd, it really is like learning to ride a bike. I remember wishing i could skip hillstarts because i felt thick in front of my instructor, and now they're second nature. This goes for all manouveres - getting it right once is all you need to boost confidence - if you can do it once you know you can keep doing it again.

Try not to feel under pressure - most other motorists will see an L-plater manoeuvring and be conscientious about it. If they aren't, they're <SNIP> who have no more right to the road than you so ignore them. With hillstarts specifically, provided there's nothing behind you (as mentioned above you do need to be cautious about pedestrians), theres nothing to worry about if you fúck it up a few times - that's what the brakes are there for . In reality once you can instinctively put your foot down hard on that middle pedal, you won't roll more than a few feet.

Wishbone Ash

MDTyKe wrote: »

I know some people who have failed their test because of ridiculous things like mounting a kerb, flying into a pile of wheelie bins etc.

Why do you think that is ridiculous?

MDTyKe wrote:

I recently heard some woman tell me her driving instructor took a heart attack and died

See Nightwish's post above.

MDTyKe wrote:

You'll be laughing at the L's yourself before you know it

That deserves a massive :rolleyes:

*shakes head*

TwoShedsJackson

6 lessons is not that much (assuming an hour a lesson) if you are new to driving and have concerns about it, as you clearly do. But like anything else, practice and experience is the only way to learn to drive competently and confidently. I read somewhere that it's estimated that on average it would take most people nine months to a year of regular driving before they feel comfortable in most any situation they are likely to meet on the road.

I know it took me about nine months anyway, I only learned 18 months ago and for the first four months or so the idea of even driving to The Square petrified me - I live a three minute drive from it, along a perfectly straight, well-lit road, but the idea actually getting behind the wheel, heading down there, then trying to find a parking space etc. would scare me. This only went away with practice, you'll find there are several points along the way where it just 'clicks' and you move on to the next level of competency.

You will always encounter idiots on the road, like the type who will beep you for not moving off in 0.0003 of a traffic light change, this type will usually do it to anyone they see with L plates up, either because they think they're being funny, or more likely they're not thinking at all.

Since I passed my test and took the L plates down, I've had a few slow starts from lights, and I think I've been beeped once in that entire time (six months or so). Some people just see L plates as another aggravation on the roads.

I am terrified of being caught in traffic, because I am scared I will either cut out, or surge forward into the car in front.
I have not learned hill starts yet, I live on top of a steep hill and the one time I tried a hill start (was stuck in traffic) the car went backwards.
I don't know reversing or parking.

All these things require practice. Everyone cuts out, especially while learning, but experienced drivers still do it occasionally, no matter what they may tell you If you're worried about surging forward when taking off, keep the handbrake on and the car in neutral until the car in front of you has just started moving then put it in 1st, drop the handbrake and go, you may think this will take you ages but with practice you will be able to do it within 2 seconds, which is fine, and don't mind any twat behind you who thinks you're taking his precious time.

Hill starts need practice too, again everyone has rolled backwards while learning them. A good instructor will take you over the finer points of them, but you do not want to be sitting in traffic on a hill and be forced to do one when you don't feel ready.

In time all this will come naturally to you, you may not believe it now but it will. Using the clutch, handbrake, gears etc becomes a matter of muscle memory and you then have more time to observe around you etc leading to a better and more confident drive.

I just want to be able to go for a drive to a friend's house like everybody else, I want to go shopping in my car rather than wreck my arms carrying heavy bags around town on the way to Connolly station.

You will be able to do this sooner than you probably think right now, just remember to get good practice with a decent instructor, one who you really think you're learning from as mentioned above, and you will get there. Good luck

LuckyStar

Thanks for the advice so far guys, I did a few new things in my lesson tonight. I did my first reverse (hated it, I hate the sensation of going backwards and wing mirrors confuse me). I did some hill starts, they weren't so bad. And I came across some horses too, I don't think I have ever driven so steadily as then, was terrified I'd frighten the poor creatures!!!

Moonbeam

Hey LuckyStar,

It gets easier,I promise:)
Keep doing lessons and after 20 hours with a good instructor you will be confident and safe on the road:)

daveharnett

Best advice I can give is not to worry about traffic behind you - they all had to learn at some stage too. In my experience, most are pretty tolerant of learners, and the others aren't worth getting upset about. If they feel the need to beep or be agressive, they diserve their high blood pressure!

That said, be considerate and pull over to allow faster traffic to pass when you get a chance, but don't stress about little delays - concentrate on driving safely.

LuckyStar

Thanks guys,
I have another lesson tonight and I am determined I will drive around some quiet towns tomorrow to get some Christmas shopping.

Spud83

Have a shot of something to settle your nerves before hand.

LuckyStar

uh, no...

Seth Brundle

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Have a shot of something to settle your nerves before hand.

There is an old phrase:
"If you have nothing good to say then say nothing at all!"

L1011

LuckyStar wrote: »

Thanks guys,
I have another lesson tonight and I am determined I will drive around some quiet towns tomorrow to get some Christmas shopping.

Tomorrow (for yesterday, meaning today) is the busiest shopping day of the year. It'll be hell.

You're in Maynooth I seem to remember? Take the car in to Parklands or Rockfield and just get used to navigating the estate traffic and flying footballs at first, then going between the estates on the Straffan Road. You should be able to work over the fear of letting the car jump forward or stalling (you'll still stall just not take three minutes to get going again) at lights, junctions, etc doing that.