Ex Partner's Family Still In Touch?

kittykatz

Hi boardsies!!! First post so here goes.

My partner finished our 6 year relationship with me this time last year. Got no warning (I thought the relationship was great and we had just come back from a fantastic holiday the week previous) and had to move out of his house overnight. He was separated when we met and subsequently went back to his wife (ouch!).

Anyhow, I have spent the last year trying to re-build my life and have just moved into my own home and things are finally good. (Time doing its healing work).

The problem is .... my ex's family are turning up again and asking to meet up, etc. His mother called into my work place this morning for a general chat. Now, I know that I was very close with his family for the 6 years we were together, but is this not weird? I mean, he's back with his wife??? I have followed the no contact rule (I have no idea how I managed it) and didn't ever ring, text or cause a scene ... no contact, just tried to get on with it once the shock had subsided. His mother told him that she was in contact with me.

Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience? I have spent the last year trying to be SO strong and now find myself regressing and thinking back on the relationship with rose tinted glasses. Any advice???

biko

Your relationship with his family does not have to end because it ended with him. They obviously still like you.
If you feel uncomfortable with it you should tell his ma you don't want to stay in touch as it reminds you of him.

flogen

Have they gotten in touch with you out of the blue?

As Biko says, you don't have to break off all ties with them just because he went back to his wife but if you want to just tell them how you feel.

If they have just come back to you out of the blue, maybe you should go for a coffee with one of them and ask if something is up.

Lux23

Maybe his mother just really liked you although I can't imagine how it would make your ex's wife feel. Its almost liek his mother is trying to let her know that his current partner isn't liked.

Wibbs

Lux23 wrote: »

Maybe his mother just really liked you although I can't imagine how it would make your ex's wife feel. Its almost liek his mother is trying to let her know that his current partner isn't liked.

Great minds think alike or fools seldom differ,:D but that's exactly the feeling I'm getting too.

kittykatz

Thanks guys for your replies ... I really appreciate it. As some of you say, not sure what the wife would think if she knew/knows that some family members are still in touch. I know that she wouldn't have been very close with the family as the majority of them would have avoided her, even on the obligatory family occasions. It's just wrecking my head as one part of me wants to stay in touch as they still feel a bit like family (is that weird?!) and the other part of me is asking why would I want to stay in touch ... I'm just feeling really confused. I'm trying to look to the future and my ex is not part of that, so why is the past now chasing me?!!

pookie82

In my opinion this is never a good idea. So you may have gotten on with his family, which is all good and well when you were together, but now it's over your contct with them should be allowed to peter out also. Making an effort to meet up with you on his Mum's part is weird, and very disrespectful to his wife, despite them getting on or not. You should make it clear that you want to move on - there's no point in listening to her updates on his life ( and the conversation will inevitably come around to that at some point) or in her going back to him telling him all about you. It'll look to him for one thing like you're trying to keep in there.

angelicsaz

i getcha, when i broke up wit my ex, his mam still text me and rang on occasion which i always felt uncomfortable about. ended up meetin her for coffee one day and told her that while i wanted to remain friendly wit her and the family ( i lived with them for a few months) i found it a difficult situation and was unsure how to handle it. for me it jus kind of fizzled out texts became less regular, and by the time i bumped into her a while later we hadnt spoken in so long conversation was strained.
while u dont want to offend her or her family, maybe jus let her know.
honesty seems to be the order of the day

Gumbyman

I think it is a very nice reflection on you and no more. You obviously made a very good impression on these people and they like you as a person. Take it is a lovely complement.