The beautiful bitch is back

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I'm sure you all remember a thread I posted on here a few weeks ago entitled 'Beauty & the Beast'. It caused quite a stir with and seemed to enrage alot of people. I just thought I'd let you all know how I got on with Mr. 'Minger'...

Well, I decided to ask him out in a very casual, non direct kind of way. He asked me what my plans for the weekend were and i told him where I was gonna be and cooly said 'If you're in town later on you should come along'. Myself and my friends all met up after work and started drinking. I felt really anxious all night hoping that he'd show up at some stage. This made me realise how much I like him and that looks really aren't that important. I re-read the responses I got on here the last time and I'm ashamed at how shallow I came across. Truth is, I was/am that shallow but I'm learning not to be.

Anyway, I was dying to see him and he eventually showed up at about half nine with one of his friends. Me and my friends were pretty hammered cause we'd been drinking since 5 but he was sober. We were getting on really well but I noticed that him and my friend 'Laura' were getting on even better. Anytime I went to the toilet I'd come back and they'd be chatting away and laughing. She was on eof the girls that called him a minger also. We were all dancing and the pair of them kept playing around together having dance offs and doing shots and stuff. I was relly drunk and ended up screaming at the pair of them before storming out and falling home.

I called Laura the next day and lo and behold, they hooked up. I slammed down the phone and haven't been able to detangle my feelings since. He knew I liked him and so did she but they selfishly looked out for themselves. Goes to show that even 'mingers' can be complete assholes. I feel so angry at them both and won't even acknowledge him in work. Revenge will be mine, there's no way I'm letting this go.

What would you do if you were me? Thanks for reading.

moco

So you think he was with your mate out of selfishness? Has it crossed your mind that maybe he likes her...and doesn't like you?

This has to be a piss take, what is this revenge you are seeking for, that he dared not to fancy you?

Jimmy Bottlehead

Wow, how did he not fall for a girl who calls herself beautiful, called the guy a minger, and is a drunken shambolic mess?

~Thalia~

moco wrote: »

So you think he was with your mate out of selfishness? Has it crossed your mind that maybe he likes her...and doesn't like you?

This has to be a piss take, what is this revenge you are seeking for, that he dared not to fancy you?

Couldn't have put it better.

O/P seriously "not letting it go" why not like? Forget about it. To be honest if you can call anyone a "minger" then maybe just maybe he picked up on that ans maybe also he just doesn't fancy you?

Beetlebum

I don't understand what he did wrong, your friend maybe but not him. He's not your boyfriend and you have no claims over who he kisses!! What is your problem?? You sound really bitter and messed up. It's pathetic.

earlyevening

I better say nothing, Miss Donegal. It cost me a week ban last time.

~Thalia~

earlyevening wrote: »

I better say nothing, Miss Donegal. It cost me a week ban last time.

Was there another thread with more back round to this?

earlyevening

Yes. A few weeks ago. Do a search for Miss Donegal. Its priceless.

dudara

If this thread descends into a vitriolic shambles as the last one did, I will ban and lock with no warning.

Could people please keep civil? Lately there have been a lot of personal attacks and borderline nasty posts on PI and I will not tolerate it any further.

dudara

To the OP, I'm genuinely sorry that this turned out the way it did for you. You were taking steps forward, learning to look below the surface and then this happens. Try not to dwell on it too much. It's a lesson learned that you don't always get what you want. Just keep an open mind when looking for the next guy.

Nevyn

Off topic and unhelpful posts will get you banned from this forum.
Read the charter and abide by the rules while posting.
Have a nice day
Thaedydal.

PeakOutput

ye op your not gonna get favourable responces in this thread either im afraid your being stupid grow up he isnt being the asshole and you are being the selfish one.

fair enough maybe your friend did it just to see if she could get him before you or maybe she just likes him but either way he is as innocent as a baby in this one

biko

I think it goes to show that even mingers can score pretty girls that previously thought they were ugly. Good one, ugly work guy!

As to revenge can't help you... Just keep a more open mind in the future.

SarahSassy

Well he is bring a bit of an asshole and your friend is not a friend after all. Maybe he copped on that you were looking down on him and maybe this is his revenge.

Dont let yourself down by not talking to him at work but I would have a word in my friends ear...

Keep up the good work on learning how not to be so shallow... Just goes to show that people are ugly on the inside as well as outside.

randylonghorn

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

He knew I liked him and so did she but they selfishly looked out for themselves.

Oh, wow ... the spoilt child didn't get the toy she wanted, which btw she had already rejected by the sound of this. Why shouldn't they "look out for themselves"? Why should they pander to your whims? Do you own either of them?

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

Truth is, I was/am that shallow but I'm learning not to be.

Steep learning curve ahead ... fasten your seatbelt!

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

What would you do if you were me?

Accelerate the learning.

or ...

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

I'm sure you all remember a thread I posted on here a few weeks ago entitled 'Beauty & the Beast'. It caused quite a stir with and seemed to enrage a lot of people. I just thought I'd let you all know how I got on with Mr. 'Minger'...

Hmm, the thread caused a stir, enraged a lot of people, so you thought ... what, exactly, I wonder?

earlyevening

I really am surprised you haven't seen all this type of behaviour before. As I recall, you were in your late 20s.
People, even friends will say something is no good because they want it themselves and equally will advise you to "go for it" when they wouldn't themselves.
You gotta toughen up and have confidence in your own plans and ideas.

Cuddlesworth

SarahSassy wrote: »

Well he is bring a bit of an asshole and your friend is not a friend after all. Maybe he copped on that you were looking down on him and maybe this is his revenge.

Dont let yourself down by not talking to him at work but I would have a word in my friends ear...

Keep up the good work on learning how not to be so shallow... Just goes to show that people are ugly on the inside as well as outside.

So he's a prick because he went out, met a nice girl and got with her?

Outside of a drunk shouting at him and signs that guys do not pick up on, he more then likely had no idea she liked him. Your female mate is a ass though.

SarahSassy

I just noticed you called yourself beautifulbitch - your ego knows no bounds

earlyevening

He probably feels great. I'd say he had a superb night - shows up in the pub a few hours late thinking he'd missed the craic and all of a sudden has supposedly hot chicks throwing themselves at him. He probably has a massive head now and thinks he's the alpha male of the office.
Well done - at least his confidence is improved.

MagicMarker

Well, only Laura has told you they hooked up, and she also told you he was a minger. So why believe her?

From your previous thread i thought you two were exclusive, but by what you've said in your OP this doesn't seem to be the case. So he hasn't really done anything wrong.

Maybe he saw your first thread and decided to get his own back?

Who knows, but now you've learned your lesson.

Lockstep

I think I empathise with her slightly,

if her friend knew you liked him and told you he was unattractive etc, it's hardly cricket of her to go for him.



Ohter than that, I'm not commenting on anything.

SprostonGreen

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

Hi Guys,

Goes to show that even 'mingers' can be complete assholes. I feel so angry at them both and won't even acknowledge him in work. Revenge will be mine, there's no way I'm letting this go.

What would you do if you were me? Thanks for reading.

Why is this "minger" being an asshole? Is it because he didnt fall at your feet, you being the Goddess and all?

Not acknowledging him in work? Planning revenge?

You might want to add that to list of things to change.

Marksie

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

What would you do if you were me? Thanks for reading.

I would reread what you said here and realise what you come across like.

Lets recap, you consider this guy a mingre, your friends consider the guy a minger. So you give hiim the hard treatment
come on here and realsie how shallow you and your friends are.

Now You invite Mr. minger out. Ahh but laura has seen he has alot more to offer (or has she, maybe all this talk of him being a minger was a cunning plan?)
You presumably have in the past been aloof, cold or juts listening to what your friends say. He IS beneath you after all.

Now what happens, yuo get jealous, make a drunken screaming scene whihc wouldnt win any beauty pageants. which is a less than beautiful bith thing to do.
Mr minger breaths a sigh of relief that he didnt get closer to someone so out of control and goes off into the sunset or possibly the bedroom with laura, who is now assured that he isn't a minger.

So tell me why he is an asshole after your previous behaviour to him and the scene you caused.

So now you want revenge.
This is like a scene from a bad teenage high school movie. Cheerleader stalks unsuspecting nerd.

This latest debacle and this hurt and desire for revenge is down to one thing. A bruised Ego.
It really muts quite simply feel like salt rubbed into a wound that someone, who by your own admission was not in yuor league, should turn you over for someone else. A mr "minger" has dumped miss donegal. That is what this is all about.
Do loko again and realise how you come across. Learn the lessons presented here.

Lockstep

Harsh words have been spoken here
harsh but true

Oryx

Revenge will be mine, there's no way I'm letting this go

Your post started off so well, I really thought this was going to be one of the uplifting threads. Then it descends to this. You do not own these people, you have no right to carry out revenge for anything they do. Leave them alone, for god's sake.

You call the guy ugly, and then, in an effort to act mature, deign to be seen out with him. No fixed date mind, just a meetup. Then when your mate (who may or may not be just as shallow as you) hooks up with the guy, who remember, you have no ties to, you have a fit of pique. All I can say is, poor guy.

I think you're only angry because you couldnt have something you decided you wanted. Maybe instead of planning revenge against those 'horrible' people :rolleyes: you should spend time working out why you got so p*ssed off in the first place.

Im assuming you meant the beautiful bitch moniker to be ironic, given the earlier thread.

Wibbs

Marksie wrote: »

I would reread what you said here and realise what you come across like.

Lets recap, you consider this guy a minger, your friends consider the guy a minger. So you give him the hard treatment
come on here and realise how shallow you and your friends are.

Now You invite Mr. minger out. Ahh but laura has seen he has a lot more to offer (or has she, maybe all this talk of him being a minger was a cunning plan?)
You presumably have in the past been aloof, cold or juts listening to what your friends say. He IS beneath you after all.

Now what happens, you get jealous, make a drunken screaming scene which wouldn't win any beauty pageants. which is a less than beautiful bitch thing to do.
Mr minger breaths a sigh of relief that he didn't get closer to someone so out of control and goes off into the sunset or possibly the bedroom with laura, who is now assured that he isn't a minger.

So tell me why he is an asshole after your previous behaviour to him and the scene you caused.

So now you want revenge.
This is like a scene from a bad teenage high school movie. Cheerleader stalks unsuspecting nerd.

This latest debacle and this hurt and desire for revenge is down to one thing. A bruised Ego.
It really must quite simply feel like salt rubbed into a wound that someone, who by your own admission was not in yuor league, should turn you over for someone else. A mr "minger" has dumped miss donegal. That is what this is all about.
Do look again and realise how you come across. Learn the lessons presented here.

Deserves repeating and I even spell checked it.... Ban ahoy!

Nail on the head from Marksie

Shooter McGaven

All i have to say to the OP is, BAM!!!!!

Running Bing

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I'm sure you all remember a thread I posted on here a few weeks ago entitled 'Beauty & the Beast'. It caused quite a stir with and seemed to enrage alot of people. I just thought I'd let you all know how I got on with Mr. 'Minger'...

Well, I decided to ask him out in a very casual, non direct kind of way. He asked me what my plans for the weekend were and i told him where I was gonna be and cooly said 'If you're in town later on you should come along'. Myself and my friends all met up after work and started drinking. I felt really anxious all night hoping that he'd show up at some stage. This made me realise how much I like him and that looks really aren't that important. I re-read the responses I got on here the last time and I'm ashamed at how shallow I came across. Truth is, I was/am that shallow but I'm learning not to be.

Anyway, I was dying to see him and he eventually showed up at about half nine with one of his friends. Me and my friends were pretty hammered cause we'd been drinking since 5 but he was sober. We were getting on really well but I noticed that him and my friend 'Laura' were getting on even better. Anytime I went to the toilet I'd come back and they'd be chatting away and laughing. She was on eof the girls that called him a minger also. We were all dancing and the pair of them kept playing around together having dance offs and doing shots and stuff. I was relly drunk and ended up screaming at the pair of them before storming out and falling home.

I called Laura the next day and lo and behold, they hooked up. I slammed down the phone and haven't been able to detangle my feelings since. He knew I liked him and so did she but they selfishly looked out for themselves. Goes to show that even 'mingers' can be complete assholes. I feel so angry at them both and won't even acknowledge him in work. Revenge will be mine, there's no way I'm letting this go.

What would you do if you were me? Thanks for reading.

Stick my head in the oven.

Marksie

Babybing: post useful advise or observations please.

Wibbs: thanks for the spellcheck, i type fast and then move on (no double entendres please)

axer

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

What would you do if you were me? Thanks for reading.

Work on my ego problem.

OP, you really should learn that the universe does not centre around you.

Go ugly work guy! You rule!

spinandscribble

karma has a funny way of biting ppl on the ass. funnily enough i could never imagine the pair of you ending up together. lol.
seriously though, learn from it. LEARN. LEARRRRN.

Overheal

OP, OP, OP....

You do yourself no favours by burning your bridges to cinders. Right now you're enveloped with jealousy and its going to convince you to do regrettable things.

My advice is to STOP, BACK UP, and MYOB [Mind Your Own Business].

You're all adults. You all make adult decisions. They chose to explore hooking up together and you have no choice but to let them. Thats really just it. Then, you have some choices to make: You can empathise with the fact that they are happy together, You can try and wait for an indefinite length of time for them to break up, You can quit your job, etc. etc. etc.

I don't want to tell you to wait and maybe he'll find out she's not right for him because that may never happen and you owe it to yourself not to hang onto that. You like him, and She, for all her perceived faults, is your friend.

However, you make yourself no favours at all: How in the world can you hope to begin a relationship with somebody if you look down on them? Don't see someone's faults, see their Values.

I think the best thing for you OP is to sit there and observe as two people who get it begin what might be a beautiful relationship.

Blackpitts

hey OP,
i'm sure you are going to get a lot of verbal abuse with this second episode, so I'll try to go straight to the point 'cause i really want to give u the piece of advice u are looking for.

I can't blame your colleague for hooking up with another girl.
I think you have acted in the past too much like "I'm out of your league" and you have intimidated him...therefore he went for a more "down-to-earth" girl, so u don't have a right to call him "minger".

moreover, it's quite ironic that your friend "laura" went for him despite she was one of the group who slagged him at the first stage.
Laura didn't care about what herself told u about him...it's quite embarassing for you to see that you were keen about her opinion way too much then herself.

I think you have learned your lesson, don't give a s**t about other people opinions because they don't even care about what they say and do.
next time follow your istinct and be less full of yourself, because a cocky girl is really unattractive at the eyes of many men.

you will get over them quickly, don't plan any stupid revenge or you will look even worse.

JuliusCaesar

Don't ignore him at work - he didn't promise himself to you so has done nothing wrong. Acting the maggot cos he hooked up with your friend will just make you look like a b*tch, acting like this especially after being 'hammered' the last time you met socially. The friend deserves a talking to, but maybe she's so shallow that she has no ethics?

sobriquet

Have to agree with most the other posters tbh OP.

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

Truth is, I was/am that shallow but I'm learning not to be.

That's good. Don't stop that. From the way your thread comes across, you have a sense of entitlement. The funny bloke in work shows some interest, you invite him out, of course he'll be all over you. Should, in fact, be delighted to be spending time in your presence at all.

Except, no. He's his own person, probably doesn't lack terribly in confidence in the first place, and has been getting mixed signals from you so why wouldn't he try and get the leg over with another hot bird who he's into and is fawning over him? Your mate may very well have been trying to get one over on you but that makes little difference to him. And where does it leave you? Tough ****, that's where it leaves you. He did nothing wrong AFAIC, and your ignoring him will only serve to show him that you are actually a bitch.

You be not-shallow or deep or whatever, by disentangling how you perceive your own behaviour and how you expect others to behave from your sense of how good you look. I'm amazed you've made it to your late twenties without this having your ego severely damaged by the results of this attitude.

Beautifulbitch wrote: »

Revenge will be mine, there's no way I'm letting this go.

Read and re-read this OP. You come across like you're 15, and about as attractive as my hairy arse crack. As memory serves you're nearly twice that age, correct? Act like it. (And if my hairy arse crack would win Miss Donegal, then I've some forms to fill out.)

SarahSassy

sobriquet wrote: »

(And if my hairy arse crack would win Miss Donegal, then I've some forms to fill out.)

Classic - line of the week!!! :D:D

smooth operater

Haha.... she was sitting at home waiting for all the positive replies aswel......Brilliant

How angry are you right now??? Huh Huh???

Vegeta

I am actually struggling to believe someone with an attitude like this is real

This has to be a troll

OP, if you are real and serious you have a disgusting attitude and need a reality check

the only one out of line was your friend if she truly knew how you felt

get over yourself

vorbis

Christ, Dudara was right. There's some genuinely nasty replies on this thread to someone they're never met. I wonder if she described herself as an ugly low self esteem girl would she have gotten better responses?

I'd guess I'd be not as good looking as the OP judging from her descriptions. So what, why should it bother me? Regards the actual SITUATION, the OP probably didn't give enough clear signals to the guy. Inviting him out with your friends is not a date. Not making it clear you fancied him is your fault.

Your friend Laura has been a bitch to you though. Its very bad form for a friend to hook up with someone you've been on about for a while. People will argue that you're all adults but in that case why do you even need friends. If Laura really liked him, then she could have talked to you first about it. She doesn't need your permission to go out with him but should have told you before she did. If that makes any sense

ShawnRaven

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder OP - Welcome to the real world!
VR!

SprostonGreen

vorbis wrote: »

Its very bad form for a friend to hook up with someone you've been on about for a while.

She wasnt going on about him for a while. She tested the water, asking them what they thought about him.

They said he was a minger, this changed her perception of him. Then she posted her first post on boards and got a wake up call.

Next in a roundabout sort of way, she asked him to meet up with her and her friends, her friend got with him and she threw a strop, screaming at both of them no less.

Vegeta

vorbis wrote: »

Christ, Dudara was right. There's some genuinely nasty replies on this thread to someone they're never met. I wonder if she described herself as an ugly low self esteem girl would she have gotten better responses?

someone with those attributes would probably not have called another person a minger though which is where this is stemming from really

She has obviously too high an opinion of herself

TPD

Id have called for pics to prove but then remembered this isnt AH. Anyway, my opinion is the same as most of the other posters - fair play to the lad, the friends a bit of a bitch, tough tits to you, get over it/yourself.

sobriquet

Vegeta wrote: »

someone with those attributes would probably not have called another person a minger though

It's entirely possible, people who feel hard done by for one reason or another can lash out in exactly that way. I'd echo Dudara and Vorbis though, the OP doesn't come across as being a particularly nice individual but still, PI is supposed to be somewhere for people to get constructive advice, not abuse.

OP, I said it in the last thread but it's worth restating - that thread and this do have real well-intended advice in it, it'll be worth your while to read it and try to consider it. Whenever people read threads that relate to a situation they know from one side or another, they'll get defensive. It isn't necessarily personal.

Running Bing

Marksie wrote: »

Babybing: post useful advise or observations please.

Wibbs: thanks for the spellcheck, i type fast and then move on (no double entendres please)

Sorry couldnt resist:D Seriously think this is a troll though.

Last thread one post then disapear. This thread seems same story. I dont buy it.

SarahSassy

Babybing wrote: »

Sorry couldnt resist:D Seriously think this is a troll though.

Last thread one post then disapear. This thread seems same story. I dont buy it.

Yeah it definitely is a troll but sure its a good laugh.

Marksie

OK folks keep it on topic and no backseat modding please.

Dudara, Thaed and myself have all issued warnings now.

portomar

defo dont buy this one. head in oven comment was great though.

Marksie

Portmar banned 1 week: off topic posting

star-pants

OP - the last time you'd said you liked the guy. You didn't know if he liked you back.
That's why most of the (non nasty) advice given was to ask him out -- see if he was even interested before you tarred him with the same brush as your friends.

You didn't ask him out properly - you invited him along to join you and your friends. You obviously hadn't made a point that you liked him (to him) and so he flirted with your friends. I don't think you established if he did fancy you or not.
Your friend on the other hand, shallow for calling him names before, shouldn't have really gone for someone you'd said you liked. Personally I'd be rather ticked off.
However, you can't blame him - a pretty girl comes on to him? Why not?
As for your friend, who knows, maybe she had beer goggles on/ decided she did in fact like him after getting to know him etc. and saw that you weren't going for it.

There is no revenge to get - have a talk with your friend to sort it out perhaps (the fact she'd kiss someone you admitted to liking) but that's all that's wrong with the situation.
I understand it must hurt to like someone and then when you think you have a chance, they get with someone else, but as I've come to realise, it's how the world works these days. If you get a chance - TAKE IT...don't leave it around for someone else to get.

Lockstep

Fair points here, your girlfriend was slightly mean to go for a guy she knew you liked. Granted people will say you don't own her but still she could've shown more tact.

I think the woman's has grown a fair bit since the last time. She admits she was shallow,that she actually likes him and that looks arent the most important thing.

Marksie wrote: »

OK folks keep it on topic and no backseat modding please.

For clarity purposes, what is backseat modding? I saw a couple of references to it before

Marksie

kickoutthejams wrote: »

For clarity purposes, what is backseat modding? I saw a couple of references to it before

Questioning whether threads are trolls, moderator decisions, whether posts are on topic or off. Basically what a mod is doing