Best time of my life is over

young_romantic

Okay, I hate to sound like a whiny teenager, but I'm afraid it's unavoidable. I went out with an amazing girl for 17 months, and in the last few weeks things got sour. I started thinking about breaking up with her, but then remembered all the things I loved about her and tried to make it work. Unfortunately a fight broke out and it ended up being the stick that broke the camels back, so she ended it.

I'll be the first to admit I acted badly, I smothered her from the start, but she kept telling me she wasn't sure, and that she just really wanted some space to see. How much of this was to spare my feelings I don't know. Anyway I got mixed signals from her for ages, things like "I still love you and I always will" or "I do miss what we had and I want it back" et cetera. Eventually we both got angry at each other, and now I've lost her completely from my life.

It's been over a month now, and I really am moving on. I've scored and been out with girls and I'm not holding out to get back together with her. Still though, I miss her. I find it really difficult to explain how I'm feeling, mostly because I'm more confused than anything. I know she's scored some guys, and it doesn't bother me like I expected it to, likewise I didn't feel weird when I was with other girls which I had expected.

I'm not holding on to hope that she'll just change her mind about things and forget about everything that's happened, but would still like to get back together with her; to sit down like adults, talk things through and move on. We broke up because neither of us really tried to sort things out, but we were still having some really good time together in between the bad times. From what I can tell, she decided it was best by only thinking about the bad times.

I know breaking up is a natural thing, but I do still love her and on the whole we were really happy together. It just doesn't feel right to take on some coping mechanism like "forget about her" and just move on to some other girl. I've been leaving her have space, haven't even spoken to her in weeks. She on the other hand is talking to my friends who she barely knew before we broke up, coming into the shop I work in even though there is one around the corner and has no problem telling people about the great holiday we had together. She's even put pictures of us together from the holiday, my grads and several other occasions online.

I can't really make sense of it. She's a really genuine girl and I do believe she was being honest when she told me she still loves me, but right now she wants no complications in her life. I understand and respect that, I just don't want her to always think of me as I acted immediately surrounding the breakup, rather than who she knows I am.

What do people think? Sorry about the essay rant. I'm going to continue completely giving her the space she wants, but what comes after that? I honestly believe that feelings are there, and that she will want a relationship again at some stage. Is there anything I can or should do so that she doesn't end up hating me? Do people think she might change her mind? Or at least let the past go and not just say no to trying again?

hussey

young_romantic wrote: »

It's been over a month now, and I really am moving on. I've scored and been out with girls and I'm not holding out to get back together with her. Still though, I miss her. I find it really difficult to explain how I'm feeling, mostly because I'm more confused than anything. I know she's scored some guys, and it doesn't bother me like I expected it to, likewise I didn't feel weird when I was with other girls which I had expected.

If it doesn't bother you, you obviously don't miss her that much
maybe you miss the relationship rather than the girl

young_romantic

It does bother me, just not as much or in the way I expected it to. I only know that she's scored one guy and she was very drunk. I felt bad at first, but it meant nothing. I get what you're saying, and I do miss the relationship, but I don't think that means I don't miss her.

*Lees*

Why don't you send her a text? Or an email? You don't have to tell her how your feeling straight away! Just tell her you were thinking of her and your wondering how she is getting on!!! At least get back on speaking terms with her if you dont end up getting back together at least it wouldn't be a total waste of 17 months if you remain friends!

LegacyUser

just over a month and both of you went of meeting people[plural?] thats a bit scary tbh.

Lux23

Unrered2222 wrote: »

just over a month and both of you went of meeting people[plural?] thats a bit scary tbh.

How is that scary? Most people indulge in a little bit of rebound sex when they break up a partner, perfectly normal.

@ OP I would say you are missing the safety of a realtionship a little bit, but you have gotten through the worst of it now and you are moving on. Maybe contact her to see how she is feeling but it does seem like the realtionship is over so offer an olive branch of friendship maybe. And the best time of your life is no over, you will have many more wonderful times in your life yet.

Jimmy Bottlehead

True, God, I went out with a girl for almost two and a half years from the age of 17... when we broke up, I thought I'd never love again, that I was screwed, blah blah...

Now I'm with a girl who's truly amazing over a year (I'm 21 by the way) - and I haven't looked back. There's so many people out there, and you're only young! :-)

Good luck!