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Friend is suicidal

  • 27-11-2007 8:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Small bit of background info- I no longer live in Ireland while a friend of mine still does. He's a student at college and has always been a little prone to depression.

    Anyway, recently his depression has gotten a lot worse. From the emails and phone calls I've had with him, it sounds as though he's losing his grip on reality, and he recently confessed that he was feeling suicidal.
    He's not the type of person who'd just go and get the help he needs. I've decided to email the student welfare office of his college but I'm not sure of they can even do anything (if they'd even act on my concerns).

    I really can't think of anything else to do. Does anyone have any ideas how I could get him the help he needs, bearing in mind that I can't return to Ireland for the forseeable furture?

    Thanks for all your assisstance.


Comments

  • #2
    SuperSean11
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,555 ✭✭✭SuperSean11


    Frightened wrote: »
    Small bit of background info- I no longer live in Ireland while a friend of mine still does. He's a student at college and has always been a little prone to depression.

    Anyway, recently his depression has gotten a lot worse. From the emails and phone calls I've had with him, it sounds as though he's losing his grip on reality, and he recently confessed that he was feeling suicidal.
    He's not the type of person who'd just go and get the help he needs. I've decided to email the student welfare office of his college but I'm not sure of they can even do anything (if they'd even act on my concerns).

    I really can't think of anything else to do. Does anyone have any ideas how I could get him the help he needs, bearing in mind that I can't return to Ireland for the forseeable furture?

    Thanks for all your assisstance.
    Has he relitives you can contact or friends of yours that also know him? Maybe call samaritans on his behalf and ask for advice


  • #3
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,579 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    If you are afraid he is going to commit suicide immediately, feel free to contact the local A&E or garda station.
    Frightened wrote: »
    Anyway, recently his depression has gotten a lot worse. From the emails and phone calls I've had with him, it sounds as though he's losing his grip on reality, and he recently confessed that he was feeling suicidal.
    What have you said to him about these comments? How has he reacted?
    He's not the type of person who'd just go and get the help he needs.
    Maybe talking to you is part of his way of getting help. Feel free to guide him towards help.
    I've decided to email the student welfare office of his college
    Try phoning them in the morning. You don't know when that e-mail will be read or how seriously it will be taken.
    I really can't think of anything else to do. Does anyone have any ideas how I could get him the help he needs, bearing in mind that I can't return to Ireland for the forseeable furture?
    Do you have mutual friends or can you contact his family?

    If you want proper advice, you can contact the Samaritans -

    www.samaritans.org
    jo@samaritans.org
    Ireland 1850 60 90 90, for the cost of a local call.
    UK 08457 90 90 90
    International www.befrienders.org


  • #4
    lauren1980
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭lauren1980


    I would definittly try and be there for him - if he rings, ring back ect. Depression and sucidal thoughts make you feel very alone, you sound like a caring friend, and knowing he can chat to you about it may help him. I know however, you are not in ireland and he may need more immediate help, if you have any mutual friends at home i would definitly contact them - and they can check up on him. Does he have any brothers or sisters you could contact or see how he s doing.
    I would advise him to seek advice - gp, encouraging him to talk to others about his feelings
    I would maintain regular contact with him - he might really need you at this time even though you may not be in close proximity towards him.
    If you feel there is an urgent threat of him attempting it - consider contactin his parents, family - if you seriously think he will do it def dont take it lightly.


  • #5
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    You need to contact his family asap


  • #6
    Popsicle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭Popsicle


    Just to re-iterate what other posters said, I would contact his family. You don't know when the student welfare people will read their mails etc.

    Without sounding selfish - for your own peace of mind, you cannot take all the responsibility on your own shoulders.


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  • #7
    estar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭estar


    contact his family immediately. tell him that feeling suicidal means that
    he is ill and needs to see a doctor. normally humans will fight to survive
    and when they feel suicidal it means their brain chemicals are unbalanced
    and they need medical help. it is very treatable and with the right
    doctor he could be feeling better in a few weeks.

    its not about a touch of depression any more, its more serious.
    i stress it is very treatable with anti depressents and support.

    also, you arent qualified to deal with him, and although you can
    provide support must seek outside professional help for him if
    he wont do so himself.

    good luck.


  • #8
    Reku
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    I know everyone is saying to contact his family but at the same time you should be careful about following this route, he may be doing all he can to keep his family unaware of how he feels and so you bursting their bubble may not sit well with him, even though you only mean well.
    The fact that he has even said that he is feeling suicidal though would indicate that he is hoping for help, as the last thing you do when serious about it is let anyone get a hint of what you're planning.
    How long have you been gone from Ireland? Does he have other friends in Ireland he could perhaps talk to? Is it possible he just misses you a lot and has no-one to turn to to talk about it?
    estar wrote:
    tell him that feeling suicidal means that
    he is ill and needs to see a doctor. normally humans will fight to survive
    and when they feel suicidal it means their brain chemicals are unbalanced
    and they need medical help. it is very treatable and with the right
    doctor he could be feeling better in a few weeks.
    Not all depression is chemically based, some of it simply stems from the fact that we are self-aware complex beings and as such we are aware of things that we may not be happy with. Everything can be fixed with a pill is just the marketing departments' pitch.


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