Urinal Etiquette?

Timothy Bryce

Do many of the lads out there follow 'the rules'?

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that a huge chunk of men don't...

kodute

Did someone just swagger up to the urinal beside you and comment on what a "big boy" you have?

Rob_l

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

Do many of the lads out there follow 'the rules'?

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that a huge chunk of men don't...

What are the rules?

and Im sorry for pissing on your shoe

djkeogh

The people who inisist on standing right beside you and going full pelt straight ahead are the ones who get to me. Splashing all over the place. Absolutely no need for it. No matter how drunk you may be.

Trojan911

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

Do many of the lads out there follow 'the rules'?

Didn't know there were rules for taking a wizz....

What are the rules then?

One Cold Hand

Rob_l wrote: »

What are the rules?

If there's someone already at a urinal then don't use the one next to him, if there's one further away that's free.

Don't start a conversation while at the urinal.

jester77

Trojan911 wrote: »

Didn't know there were rules for taking a wizz....

What are the rules then?

The only one I know is that you are meant to aim for the urinal, are there more

Pompey Magnus

Eyes straight ahead but keep aware of your peripheral vision to ensure your neighbours aren't taking a sneaky glance.

SlinkyToo

Jeeez it is saddening to see so many people who dont know the rules.

1. If all urinals are free, do not choose the middle one
2. Always choose the urinal furthest away from the door.
3. Do not stand next to another man when using urinals, that why there are toilets so you can escape such moments.
4. Do not speak, moan, shake more than twice, or shout I'm Melting I'm Melting when peeing on the urinal cake

seamus

5. Always choose a urinal with future toilet users in mind. If there are four urinal

X X X X

And someone is already standing at the one at the end, i.e.

X X X O

Then you must choose one so as to prevent the chances of someone else standing beside you. If you choose the other end, i.e.

O X X O

Then you have a 50% chance that the next person who enters will stand beside you. However, if you choose the urinal that's one away from the other guy, i.e.

X O X O

Then you increase the chance that the next person to enter will opt to use a cubicle instead.

There was a flash game flying around a couple of years ago that dealt with this very problem.

Edit: Here we go:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/urinal

Rob_l

i always take the urinal closest to whoever is in the jacks then i ask them questions about their day

cornbb

Test your skills here:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/urinal

patrickc

good game, yeh trick is furthest away from the person already there, or choose the end urinal if noone at them.

Rob_l

SlinkyToo wrote: »

Jeeez it is saddening to see so many people who dont know the rules.

1. If all urinals are free, do not choose the middle one
2. Always choose the urinal furthest away from the door.
3. Do not stand next to another man when using urinals, that why there are toilets so you can escape such moments.
4. Do not speak, moan, shake more than twice, or shout I'm Melting I'm Melting when peeing on the urinal cake

Why are these the rules what do these rules achieve
are you all ashamed of your small penises

haven't you checked your spam these things can be fixed in todays world

Timothy Bryce

Some fcuker skulked up beside me in the work jacks earlier and struck up a conversation - put me right off my enjoyable p*ss

Spud83

More than two shakes = A ****

Lands Leaving

jesus lads, just go, empty your bladder, and leave. no need for all these rules!

Rob_l

Lands Leaving wrote: »

jesus lads, just go, empty your bladder, and leave. no need for all these rules!

indeed.

boneless

I recite poetry and draw imaginary pictures with my wee... drooling can annoy lads too.

Cuddlesworth

What about letting one rip either during or at the end?

kev_s88

nearly always let one rip at the end.


just is'nt a good p1ss without it.

Xavi6

+1 for the rules. Not a chance of me striking up a conversation with a drunken idiot while I enjoy my p*ss, especially if we get stuck on the same cycle after a few.

The Chessplayer

Can't stand lads who lean against the wall with one arm while taking a wizz at the same time. Something really gay about doing that. Generally only see that in wanky pubs.

Spud83

The Chessplayer wrote: »

Can't stand lads who lean against the wall with one arm while taking a wizz at the same time. Something really gay about doing that. Generally only see that in wanky pubs.

Its called being locked and not being able to stand.

MikeHoncho

Im an advocate of the rules also. Nothing to do with wang size more to do with distance between me and other gents when we are holding our equipment. Why would you want to stand close to someone else as they expell bodily waste? Just stick to the rules and everyone is happy.

boneless

krazy_8s wrote: »

What about letting one rip either during or at the end?

Classic move that!!

andyl222

there's actually a solid psychological basis for 'the rules'... in this instance its distance between you and the other man at the urinal, but in general the principle is applied to anything from seating in pubs, buses or trains. if there is a space available further away yet you opt to be positioned closer to a previously present individual, they become instantly ill at ease (probably not helped in this case by the whole holding your cock aspect).

Rob_l

From now on i shall set out to break these rules because people who make rules or get annoyed and upset about stupid things deserve to be upset and annoyed about stupid little things by me!!

ScumLord

Some people get really thick, ingnant about this crap. If all the urinals are in use it should be totally acceptable to share one. I don't see what the big problem is??