Family abuse

Overheal

wow, I so care about being unregistered for this.

Right im in a digs where the long story condensed is the landlady is a sweet awl woman who is clinically depressed and takes xanax. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/xanax

Anyway for whatever reason she decided to come off them again (I'm thinking a John Nash scenario - where you hate the side effects so much you just flush them).

Well anyway, instead of her family showing nurturing care and support, she has come back home this evening and i can hear her 17 year old son and her husband (the unemployed ****) are in their living room making fun of her! They're giving her a spelling bee, and lol'ing at her dymensia.

If I go in there i wouldnt know what to do or say - I have so much loathing for the 2 right now I could easilly tear them apart. All that serves to do though is get me evicted and it wouldnt help her at all. this i fear has been going on for potentially years.

I post because I feel theres nothing I can do in this case... but surely there must be something i can do?! I'm in a pinch and I cant sit and watch them do this to her.

-Overheal

l3LoWnA

God that's horrible...like father like son - that man is a fkn TWAT!

Sorry, don't know what you can do!

Could you even call her out of the room to the kitchen for a chat about something and have a cup of tea with her?

estar

Overheal wrote: »

wow, I so care about being unregistered for this.

Right im in a digs where the long story condensed is the landlady is a sweet awl woman who is clinically depressed and takes xanax. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/xanax

Anyway for whatever reason she decided to come off them again (I'm thinking a John Nash scenario - where you hate the side effects so much you just flush them).

Well anyway, instead of her family showing nurturing care and support, she has come back home this evening and i can hear her 17 year old son and her husband (the unemployed ****) are in their living room making fun of her! They're giving her a spelling bee, and lol'ing at her dymensia.

If I go in there i wouldnt know what to do or say - I have so much loathing for the 2 right now I could easilly tear them apart. All that serves to do though is get me evicted and it wouldnt help her at all. this i fear has been going on for potentially years.

I post because I feel theres nothing I can do in this case... but surely there must be something i can do?! I'm in a pinch and I cant sit and watch them do this to her.

-Overheal

that isnt a very nice environment to live in.

just be nice to her when you can. thats all the situation requires of you.

and listen to her if she needs it. there are many orgs that could support her
if she needed them. hopefully she has a good gp who is managing that for her.

maybe long term the solution is a new digs. and then you can tell them
your opinion on the way out the door.

Overheal

by now i think shes gone to bed but... that hardly solves the situation in the long run

edit: yea i dont know how good orgs are to her - shes pretty computer illiterate ?( and i dont know what GP would prescribe her on Xanax so long.... your only suppose to be on it weeks according to most guidelines due to addiction/dependancy (in this case dependancy) - shes been on them reportedly for several years :eek:

ill of course do what i can in being nice to her. and yes i thought of headbutting the fcuker on my way out

estar

Overheal wrote: »

by now i think shes gone to bed but... that hardly solves the situation in the long run

edit: yea i dont know how good orgs are to her - shes pretty computer illiterate ?( and i dont know what GP would prescribe her on Xanax so long.... your only suppose to be on it weeks according to most guidelines due to addiction/dependancy (in this case dependancy) - shes been on them reportedly for several years :eek:

ill of course do what i can in being nice to her. and yes i thought of headbutting the fcuker on my way out

or to wonder about solutions. her addiction was a choice. maybe because
of her situation but still one nonetheless.

i dont see how you can intervene unless asked for advice. it will look like
you were eaves dropping. even if it was totally obvious what was going on.
there are drugs out there that ease the pain of coming off xanax.

if asked give emotional support by listening.

but really she needs qualified professional help which she can find if she
really wants to.

LegacyUser

xanax isnt a drug anyone wud take for clinical depressions so if shes on it shes addicted to it. xanax is for panic attacks - not for a long term condition. for somethign like depression someone wud be on drugs such as prozac or related drugs known as MAOIs, tricyclics or SSRIs. (typical depression drugs)

Xanox migh be prescribed for say fear of flying only to be taken when someone is flying. (or other situatuions that would envoke a panic attack) It is highly addictable so some psychiatrics dont like prescribing it at all.
If shes takign it all the time (more than a few weeks) then theres more issues there. how did you end up gettign involved and how do you know bout the medication shes on if you are just a tenant.

whats she like to live with generally ? how do yu know so much are you friend as well ? Did she tell you she was addicted to xanex?

sjaakie

im not so sure its wise to judge here. These people have lived with her depression for most of their lives. depression is a heavy burden for a family and a difficult one to carry. while in normal circumstances this behaviour would be pretty bad this is not a normal situation. laughter and light heartedness is positive energy, it wouldnt be healthy if they all sat around miserable all the time.

Overheal

Thanks for the advice: I know I dont have the full picture here so maybe acting at all is a terrible idea.

I got involved with this when i came home one day and she and the hub were in a huge row.... basically, she imagined/hallucinated that one of the other students was having sex in her ensuite shower :eek: and it went downhill from there. I got involved cos this was fcuking weird, and it wasnt the students fault and i wanted to help HIM out.

Anyway i managed to help HER out doing it, but failed to get the student to stay - and him and the other 2 students (1st year kiddies - fresh outta the nest) all get sheepish and follow. So there I was by my lonesome and ah I had just gotten myself into a hook :rolleyes: so I stayed and eventually now I have 1 other student to live with ...

Sure I'd move out, and may well do in March - my friend's all share the same place and one of their rooms is opening up then so the guy can go off on work experience abroad - so I'll probably do that.

In the meantime.... :rolleyes: its not up to me to be her GP but when i overhear stuff like that going on... bleh.

Nevyn

Move out.

Overheal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Move out.

in time. in time. in the meantime Im not the kind of person who likes to sit idly by

togster

Overheal i would like to applaud you for staying and helpin her. Too many people preaching self preservation. sometimes its good to look out for others.

Overheal

Thanks for the feedback, and now I may add.

Yesterday she came to me about a problem she was having with her daughter - how shes on the phone all the time while shes doing her homework and - fcukit, I was wrapped up in my own affairs - I told her it was likely none of my business and I wouldnt have the full picture to give sound advice. She agreed it shouldn't be my problem: its just she was looking for someone to speak to about it. I have no idea what goes on between her and the husband but oh, I can guess.

This is all after the day after my first post when me and my other housemate were both chillaxing in her room, when the landlady comes in with a beer and sits down to have a chat......... which you know, we thought was insanely awkward. I tried to play conversation-pong with her for a bit but my flatmate was totally weirded out by this and before long the landlady left

Anywho, back to yesterday, she goes back into her daughter to get her off the phone and that turned into some unholy row. I only heard frags of it out in my corner of the house but it sounded to me like the daughter was giving her all hell and abuse about her credibility because she wasn't the smartest.

Then later that evening i went into the kitchen to get some crisps and all I hear out of the living room from the young lad (who was partaking in the spelling bee the other night) was "Shut the fcuk up and stay out of this! Just sit in the corner and drink your fcuking cans." I don't know what was being discussed but I know her, the young lad and the husband were in there together - how the hell would the husband sit there and let his son say that to her? Oh, it gets better.

So I managed to flesh out the husband a bit this week - the fakest sounding person I've ever met: always trying to be your best friend. According to the landlady he was a boarding school kid and etc etc etc 'oh i never saw my parents my parents dont love me' thing. Cry me a river.
So basically his goal in life is to look like the good guy: every morning the 2 little bastards get rashers for breakfast cooked by himself, and a fiver for their lunch. Then they get 20 at the weekend and whenever they want to go to the cinema its given to them. All of this when they are both on the Dole, she's on pension, and they have half of their digs rooms filled out. How does he pay for this?
It probably has something to do with the fact that he has effectively confiscated the landlady's bank account: she gets nothing during the week - if she wants money she has to go through the husband, and that just doesnt happen. She makes considerably more money than him: with her dole, pension and running the digs; while he sits on his ass and collects a reduced dole.

I'm not too far away from doing something irrational here :mad:

Jimmy Bottlehead

I dunno, sounds like a pretty messed up situation... listen if she talks, but might be best to get away ASAP, and leave them to it.

LegacyUser

Stay out of it!!!! There's nothing to make a family unite and turn on you, like interfering. It's up to them to sort it out, it's their business. If you don't like it, move out. She's an adult and responsible for herself. You are responsible for YOURself.