Over-reacting or right?

LegacyUser

I just need to vent some anger and some hurt really.
It seems that for some reason my "friend" seems to get a kick out of going after guys I like.

Hear me out...

You spend the car trip to a house party telling your friend how after liking Mr X for ages you finally had a kiss the other night, had a great night etc and how you still really like him. She seems delighted for you, says how she knew the two of you liked each other, would be great together etc...

You get to the party...and Friend spends the whole night throwing herself at Mr X. She even goes so far as to not get in the taxi when it comes and decides she'll stay the night there instead!?
WTF!?



*tear*

Is my anger an over-reaction. Its not like me and Mr X are bf/gf.
But still...she knew I liked him.

jdivision

I don't think your friend is a friend to be honest. They wouldn't do that to you tbh

mawk

Over-reacting? wrote: »

Is my anger an over-reaction. Its not like me and Mr X are bf/gf.
But still...she knew I liked him.

slap your friend.

thats not cool at all

Silverfish

She is not your friend. I'd have a word with her about that.


What was his take on the whole thing? Did he reject the advances?

mikemac

How many times has this happened?
You say "guys" so has this been done to you before?

bronte

That's awful, I don't get why she would do that to you.
Ask her for an explanation...it's only normal that you are angry.

l3LoWnA

This is not a true friend - I've had friends do the EXACT same thing and it's horrible, even with guys I'd been "seeing" on a regular basis. The worst part is, if your "friend" is in a corner talking to the guy you've been blabbering to her about what exactly is she saying to the guy about YOU and your feelings? Who knows?! Horrible feeling not trusting friends, either hang onto her and tell her NOTHING or get rid of her as she's not really a good frend is she?

acorntoast

Not overreacting - that's awful. I don't know why some girls do that. Ugh - I feel bad for you. It feels horrible being in that position - disrespectful of both of them. If he didn't rebuff her and make a bee-line for you, then maybe she did you a favour on two counts - she showed you who she really is, and she showed you who he really is.
This has happened between me and various different friends over the years. One who I really liked and therefore spoke to about things, and others I've just let drift away. The one I talked to about it was surprised, embarrassed and cool about it, and it got through - I got an apology and everything. But I've seen this go on for years between two girls I know - it's like Girl B only wants the guys Girl A has. It's actually sick - how insecure and jealous Girl B must be... Your friend is probably the same.

Rb

If she's doing this regularly, just tell the guys you like about the friend of yours who had a baby at 15 and is now ridden with the Clap but sneakily isn't telling guys about either and that you don't know whether to say anything to her about it or not.
Then when the two of you are in the room with said guy, let him know "confidentially" that it's her and bingo bango no man you're interested in will ever want to go near her.
Problem solved.

the_syco

Get rid of the b|tch yesterday. It seems she gets her kicks from breaking your heart. At least with an enemy, you'd expect it, but not from a "friend".

Reku

Damn she doesn't sound like a very loyal friend... what does she think she's doing, trying him out before you buy or something?!?
Is this perhaps a "well she thinks he's cute, hmm he does seem more attractive to me now that I think about it" type thing, where your friend finds guys more appealing just because someone else likes them? A bit immature and childish on her part is it not?
One thing I have to say in favour of lads, everytime I've ever known a lad to go after a girl that he knew a friend had dated/liked, he asked the other lad first if he was ok with it.

dudara

mawk Please do not advocate the use of violence on this forum.

dudara

fuzzywiggle

A friend wouldn't do that. And that's no understatement. She is not a friend

My name is Todd

jdivision wrote: »

I don't think your friend is a friend to be honest. They wouldn't do that to you tbh

Silverfish wrote: »

She is not your friend. I'd have a word with her about that.


What was his take on the whole thing? Did he reject the advances?

fuzzywiggle wrote: »

A friend wouldn't do that. And that's no understatement. She is not a friend

I think you have to get rid of this girl - she clearly thinks she's above you and can do what she pleases, regardless of how it impacts on you.

Confront her.

Dinxminx

I had a 'frenemy' like this who, like Blowna said, I found it impossible to trust. I finally cut her out of my life a month ago and have found it such a relief. I liked her, but the strain was so bad I felt like I was clinging onto my sanity by my fingertips because no matter what I said to her she did exactly as she pleased. In the end I realised that a true friend would consider my feelings before doing some of the stupid sh*t she did.

Unfortunately certain people (namely my boyf and his best friend) still talk to her so I haven't managed to shake her off completely, but if I never saw her again I wouldn't mind!

Ditch her, for the sake of your mental health.

John Mason

mawk wrote: »

slap your friend.

thats not cool at all

slap the bloke, what's he doing? neither of then have any respect for you. dump both of them and get on with your life

Marksie

Irishbird: did you read Dudaras Post on violence?
last warning for anyone on this

misswex

I think you need to dump this so called friend and do it as soon as possible as you don't need that kind of crap in your life.

K_P

She's not a friend and you're not over-reacting. Drop her!

LegacyUser

Thank you all so so much for your replies.
I've been going over it all non-stop in my head this weekend so much so that I was starting to doubt whether my anger is justified or not.
...Thinking about it more rationally this morning though I do believe what she did was totally wrong.

In response to one of your q's...no unfortunately its not the first time.
It was happened once before, a few months ago. One of my character traits (or flaws...depending on situation I guess) is that I hate any kind of confrontation. So while I was seriously annoyed watching her in action throwing herself at guy X the first time, I failed to stand up and say something to her that time. She knew herself what she did was totally out of order.
...I got one pathetic text apologising. I didnt even get a face to face apology or a chance to discuss it. I stupidly forgave her.

Dont think I can forgive her this time though. The fact that I opened up to her hours previously and she seemed delighted etc...and then threw it all back in my face. its not like it was just some random guy that I liked, she knew the whole story and still did what she did
Tear

Thanks for all your replies though

Leeby

irishbird wrote: »

slap the bloke, what's he doing? neither of then have any respect for you. dump both of them and get on with your life

Why? It's the girl who was throwing herself at him, OP doesn't say if he acted on it.
OP you need to ditch her, she's absolutely no good for you. A once off is one thing, it happens, but if this girl has treated you so disrespectfully before then she's not worth it.

coolhandc

id say your "friend" is very jealous of you and she feels that by flirting with this guy she gets one up on you.
she might also like the attention...
either way,its not right and something needs to be said to her imo...

How Strange

OP, I think most girls have had a friend like this at some stage.

Next time you tell her about a guy say to her it would be nice if she wouldn't throw herself at him. See what she says back.

It seems that she has confidence problems and may be jealous of you. Anyway, if this is a recurring problem then I'd consider making her an ex-friend. Otherwise have it out with her.