Calling All Men in Their 40s ..I need advice PLEASE

mysterymeme123

Hello All,
I need advice pleeeeeease

I recently met and have started going out with an amazing guy. He is 42 and I am 25. We seem to have a lot in common . However after a weekend away recently I began to notice that he mentions the fact that he is older than me , and mentions it quite a lot. He calls himself an old timer. I don't respond to this seriously with a deep and meaningful because I don't want to make a deal out of it. In my eyes he is as hot as anything.He is the most amazing lover ....ever. I respond to his little "age" jokes with compliments about himself, his body and well his amazingness ....a bit gushy and swoony I know. He is very romantic and I, until I met him was a cynical old witch( ironically enough) . Is there anything I can say or do to make him feel less selfconcious about it ?

Just to reiterate to him how much I fancy the ass off him I booked a room in a hotel next Monday and am going to surprise text him to meet me in said room in some very fancy "unmentionables". Now I have NEVER done anything remotely like this before. But because he is older than me and has been married and divorced I feel like he will expect this amount of effort .but at the same time I don't want to scare him off. aaaaaaaaaaa I am thinking about this too much now and an doubting myself.

Basically what I need to know is
1. How do get him to understand his being older is a turn ON and not a turn off
and
2. Is this secret hotel room booking thing a good idea.... we haven't been sleeping together for long ( is it too much too soon)

Please don't read out my name and thanks

Terry

Moved from AH.

biko

Just try to be normal and don't mention age at all. He probably still can't believe his luck and thinks he must point out the difference between yous but it should wear off after a while as he realises it's not a big deal.

Actually that hotel room idea is great, mind if I use that too?

MagicMarker

The hotel room is grand but just make sure he's free!!

I think when he keeps bringing it up, it is because he is subconsciously seeking reassurance.
Just make it clear how much you fancy him and once ye are more settled in the realtionship, he'll forget about it.
Hotel is a great idea.

mysterymeme123

he is i told him i had a surprise ,:) and to make sure he was available

great unwashed

mysterymeme123 wrote: »

Basically what I need to know is
1. How do get him to understand his being older is a turn ON and not a turn off

Do you want to have his children? If so, tell him.

mysterymeme123 wrote: »

and
2. Is this secret hotel room booking thing a good idea.... we haven't been sleeping together for long ( is it too much too soon)

Please don't read out my name and thanks

Can't wait 'til I'm forty two.

meesa

MagicMarker wrote: »

The hotel room is grand but just make sure he's free!!

Dont worry if he`s not available....I`m 46 and will be free that evening...shame to waste those "unmentionables" hehe....
Seriously though, the more you get to know each other the `age thing` just evaporates. Good luck!!

Marksie

Meesa: PI is not a dating site.

OP: sometimes guys get insecure about such things. Its a variant of the OMG why are they with me .

Juts keep being positive towards him and he will overcome it.

Suaimhneach

Confront the issue and talk about it?
Communication is the key.
It doesnt have to be a big deal. "Hey, I find your age and attitude quite attractive, stop thinking of it as a negative thing, now take your pants off". >.<

thecleverone

Seriously though, the more you get to know each other the `age thing` just evaporates

This is so true. I started seeing my boyfriend 3 years ago. I was 23 and he was 45. I'm now 26 and he's 48 and the age difference almost never comes into the equasion, apart from when other people talk about it.

Beruthiel

The hotel is a great idea and he will be delighted.
The age thing, I'm guessing he cannot believe at his age he's pulled someone so much younger, he is probably finding it difficult to understand why you would wish to be with him. When you've been married a long time you can tend to forget just how attractive you are to others. Give him a bit of time to get used to the idea.
You should talk to him about this stuff, good communication is essential.

The Hill Billy

I'd imagine that it is just a certain amount of insecurity on his part. He probably can't believe his luck. Give him some gentle reassurance & tell him the positives from your point of view.

Sephiroth_dude

mysterymeme123 wrote: »

I booked a room in a hotel next Monday and am going to surprise text him to meet me in said room in some very fancy "unmentionables".

Jesus thats kinky,that should make him feel good!

LegacyUser

Im in his position...Divorced and with my GF now 5 years...She's now 26 and Im 44..
It didnt "bother" me at all having an age difference it just "wow"ed me...As someone else said above..."OMG I cant believe my luck" type of wow! I consider myself lucky to have met my partner and I do my best to let her know that as often as I can...

All men (and probably women) would like to think they are attractive to younger members of the opposite sex but for most, circumstances dictate that they dont get the opportunity to see if it is the case...

In my case and I would guess his also, he just cant believe his luck...

Oryx

The hotel thing is great. Every mans fantasy.:D

As for the age, it seems that it is a little bit of an issue for both of you. He mentions it to you (he feels like an old timer) and you mention that you need to make more effort because of his imagined 'experience'.

The only way to get past it is to talk about it openly with him. Reassure him he is hawt and ask for the same reassurance concerning your own worries. And most of all, enjoy every minute of being together.