Does she not care or can she not sense i'm feeling sad?

LegacyUser

I'm feeling a little down a the min after something my gf told me when we where going to bed this evening (what she said doesnt matter).

It's not the 1st time ive noticed she just doesnt care/notice if im feeling down or sad. I can ly in bed near her but not touch her, move away from her, breath heavy etc and she just falls a sleep.

She's in bed now and i got up to go to the other room, im pretty sure she was still awake when i came here, and she never even taught it was weird for me to leave the room.

It puts me down even more or somthing when my GF isnt there to make me feel better. It's not always things she does that make me sad ive been like this for other reasons to.

Isn't part of a relatiopnship to do with caring for each other and being there??? Or do i need to be educated a little better in what they are about?

Beruthiel

Instead of leaving the room in a sulk, I suggest you discuss whatever it is that's bothering you. None of us are mind readers and you can never go wrong with honesty and plain talking.

Seraphina

she's your girlfriend, she's human, not some amazing different species who knows you inside out and can tell when you're feeling down.

you expect her to notice something's wrong because you were lying in bed not touching her and breathing heavily?
c'mon! as Beruthiel said, talk to her!!!

LegacyUser

Man, you are labouring under some serious romantic delusions. Being a man is a tough, lonely business and this means that you often feel alone.

Your girlfriend is NOT responsible for your personal happiness, only you are.

I recommend a book by a guy called David Deida - The Way of The Superior Man. It's a bit California new-age spiritual, but it is also very insightful on relationships between men and women.

Fysh

Hrm, and here was me thinking passive-aggression was such an attractive sexy trait.

There's nothing wrong with feeling sad or down or however else you might want to put it, but it's not your girlfriend's fault for not intuitively knowing something's up without you telling her - especially if it's just as you're going to bed! Some people get restless and take a while to fall asleep, other people can conk out pretty much as soon as they're under the covers. It would be more annoying if she spent 15 minutes checking that you were ok every time you went to bed and twitched in a slightly unusual manner.

TBH your tone is a bit odd, it sounds as though you're blaming your GF for contributing to your sadness by not pre-emptively addressing it. I would suggest you try to stop yourself from acting as though she should know these things and start telling her when you feel down and need a hug. Relationships aren't about one person babysitting the other and dropping everything to come running and check on you every time you sigh heavily. If your GF gave out to you for not "knowing" what she was thinking without being told, you'd probably not be happy about it, so why should the same standard not also apply to you?

Mighty_Mouse

I can ly in bed near her but not touch her, move away from her, breath heavy etc and she just falls a sleep.

Tbh yer acting like a chick!
What I mean is often women expect men to have the ability of telepathic-psycoanalysis when all we want is for her to actually spell-out what her prob is.
The same applies to you.

Also, its a tough path in life if you choose to be the super-sensitive type.
Life will deal you enough problems so try not let the little things upset you so much.

jimmycrackcorm

OP, instead of sulking you should just talk to her.

Seth Brundle

FFS be a man and bottle it up!
Otherwise talk to her and let her know whats on your mind and stop complaining that she isn't a mind reader.

star-pants

Hey OP -- pretty much what most people have said -- you need to tell her what's up. Not everyone is good a reading others. An ex of mine could tell from the second I got into the car if something was up, he'd ask, if I said 'nothing' he'd leave it a few hours to give me a chance to say it if I wanted. If I didn't he'd be really gentle and ask me later.
He's the only person I know who's ever been able to pick up on me like that.

Some people do toss and turn & make noises before they go asleep, and perhaps your GF falls asleep quickly too. Or maybe, when you leave the room, she thinks you want space.

Best thing is to have a nice chat with her, tell her you feel sad, and I'm sure she'll be there to support you. Not to be blunt, but she's not a mind reader, so you have to give the info if you want feedback.

the_syco

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

Tbh yer acting like a chick!
What I mean is often women expect men to have the ability of telepathic-psycoanalysis when all we want is for her to actually spell-out what her prob is.
The same applies to you.

+1. OP, either you tell her that what she said hurt you (or was that her goal?), or STFU and bottle it in (which is not a great idea).