In love with

LegacyUser

I'm in love with my best friend, the problem is we can never ever be together (hes gay). From the very first moment I met him I knew he was special, I then found out he was gay, it was a shock but I dealt with it, I knew I loved him but it was a friendship kinda love, anyway as time went on I realised that my feelings for him were changing, Its now gotten to the point where I know I'm in love with him, I look at him and I know that I'd do anything for him, I can't bare to see him sad or upset, I know everything about him all his little imperfections and I still adore him, He's my best friend, If he ever found out how I felt it would completely ruin our friendship, I cannot lose him, I know its stupid, I know it can never happen, but I just take one look at him and I know I'd do whatever he asked me to, How do I get over him ?

Elessar

Oh you women. Always want what you cant have. (And then dont want it when you can get it)

Anyway you are right it's not going to happen. The only way to get over these feelings is to sever contact altogether. Which isn't easy especially if you are really good friends. Just keep telling yourself it will never happen, it's not fair on him or you and learn to deal with it like an adult.

I would imagine it's still just wanting what you can never have.

biko

"And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet?
We begin by coveting things we see everyday"

As long as you hang around you probably won't get over him. However he can't be yours. You just have to learn to live with it.
Continue being a good friend as that's all you'll be.

John Mason

it works for will and grace ..........but in real life why would you torture yourself?

Beetlebum

irishbird wrote: »

it works for will and grace ..........but in real life why would you torture yourself?

Hee hee....he's straight in real life apparently..maybe go for him instead....you've as much chance with him as u do with your friend!

Loopy

Be strong and walk away or have a sex change!

Oryx

How do I get over him?

The oft cited phrase: get under someone else. Instead of pining for a man you cant have, start looking for someone else. Even if your not all that bothered at first.

These are your feelings and you are allowing them to control you. Youre allowing yourself to continually say what if and I wish, no wonder youre going through agonies! You can be a friend and still wish the best for him, while accepting that he cannot and will never reciprocate your deeper feelings. But you need to stop your mind wishing for him. There is no magic way, but everytime you go off on one about him, and start aching for what might have been, conciously stop yourself and focus on something else. We all have self control and willpower when we really need it, and you need it now.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Most gays aren't 100% homosexual. Every one of my friend's who calls themselves gay (as in not bi) has at one point wanted a girl.

Guys don't really care when their mates try it on with them, even if they're not interested. You've nothing to lose.

Just be wary you're not pining for what you can't have.

Loopy

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Just be wary you're not pining for what you can't have.

Op has said he is gay - why on earth would she set herself up for rejection

Either accept your just friends or end the friendship..

McGinty

Hi Op
You have two choices 1) harness in your love feelings for your friend and keep telling yourself that he is not available
2) ask yourself why are you into such an unavailable man, do you want someone you cannot have so that you don't need to deal with real romance/love/intimacy.

As Ktk said, find someone you like, it is one thing if your friend was heterosexual but he is not and to be honest there is no chance for you so you just have to let go, basically I would ask myself this, which is more important having a lovely friendship or blowing it over on a wish that can never, ever happen. I don't mean to downplay what you are experiencing (I have been there myself) but I personally don't believe in banging your head off a wall till it bleeds.

Sinfonia

Find someone else or get a sex change

WildIrishRose

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Most gays aren't 100% homosexual. Every one of my friend's who calls themselves gay (as in not bi) has at one point wanted a girl.

Guys don't really care when their mates try it on with them, even if they're not interested. You've nothing to lose.

Just be wary you're not pining for what you can't have.

oh I dont agree!

Bottle_of_Smoke

looptheloop wrote: »

Op has said he is gay - why on earth would she set herself up for rejection

I mean, really, is that a genuine serious question? Like not being ironic or anything? You are serious?

Bottle_of_Smoke

WildIrishRose wrote: »

oh I dont agree!

Any reason in particular?

kowloon

irishbird wrote: »

it works for will and grace ..........but in real life why would you torture yourself?

That program's all the torture i need

I know a gay fellow who has been subjected to several attempts to turn him away from the dark side, theyve all failed, but he did throw a shot into one of them out of curiosity, then she got pissed off when he didn't want to run away with her.
Complicated stuff, you'd need a heart of steel not to be moved

Loopy

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I mean, really, is that a genuine serious question? Like not being ironic or anything? You are serious?

Oh very serious...your problem?

nacho libre

i suspect you are not in love with him rather you are in love with the idea of him