My Life...

LegacyUser

I'm in my mid-30's and lately have being feeling lost, no one really to turn too, alot
of my friends have had babies and have no time to go out OR met up and most weekends I'm just looking for things to do while my baby friends are moaning "they have NO TIME".....
i DID JOIN A CLUB BUT IT WAS HARD TO KEEP AT IT AND DIDNT REALLY MET ANY FRIENDS THERE....ANY IDEAS?

togster

Have a baby?

Nerin

i have no advice for you on were to find new friends,or activitys to keep u busy, but what i will tell u is try andmake friends with varied types of people, some in relationships,some without,gay,straight,left wing right wing bla bla bla.
i find that way wen ppl arent around theres usually one of your friends there for you. Maybe set up a social networking account or something,i dunno, maybe someone can give you better advice as to where u can meet new people,

magooly

how about taking a night course in a local uni?

Nerin

wooo,knew someone wud come up wit a good one,well done,i totally agree,in my college there are a fair amount of mature students and we get on pretty wall,most of the mature students i would associate with nearly more than the 20 year olds

LegacyUser

I did join stuff and it seem to come down to when course was finished nobody went out, just home so that didnt end up to much and have a baby...the answer is no, not ready to have one..........in my work we dont go out as the ages range from 40-65.......

Strokesfan

Sarah Babe - Are you tied to your location through Mortgage and Job?

I personally don't plan on having kids but I do plan on moving to somewhere like London etc where there might be more like-minded single people.

I totally understand where you're coming from because if you don't follow the typical route of boyf/married/kids - it seems like there's less and less people to relate to in irish towns.

Would you do another course - something more fun like photography or art? Any interest in doing a Saturday night in a bar for a while?

microgirl

Try the Introduction to Drama course in the Gaiety School of Acting. I'm halfway through right now (10 week course) and most nights after the course at least some of us go out for a pint. Now, me being me I'm probably not going to remain friends with any of them once the course is over, but that's down to my personality and choices. It could be very different for you.

And before you ask, there's all age ranges. Yes, those that go for a pint are mostly the 20-30 somethings, but again, it's the decision of the older ones not to join us, not because we don't want them.

Alternatively take up a more active/sporting hobby, rather than an evening course or something. Although many are pricey, they usually have some form of socialising as well. Take up a martial art (NOT a 10-week Tai Chi course - something long term), or scuba-diving, sailing, tennis, archery, badminton, pitch and putt etc etc.

LegacyUser

I'm not very mad when it comes to going out as I'm abit on the shy side,
its seems very I'm not very interesting to know.......I have a house so montly repayments are €1500 so that only leave me €1200 a month to live on. I just feel so alone.....it seems if you dont fit into b/f, kids etc people seem not interested in you...and I've dont the pub scene and its not great on a sat nite every week....arsholes out there.....

CrazyNoob

why not go speed dating, internet dating etc

CraggyIslander

you'll need to try meet people that are not the baby type.... there's plenty of em out there, they're just not in the same places where the baby type people are

Do you have any hobbies you really enjoy?

For friends/dating you could try www.plentyoffish.com it has sections for friends, talk/email, dating etc. You can limit who contacts you and best of all its free.

Be warned tho that its the same as the real world, you will meet aholes either way.

kmick

Can you tell us what is a typical scenario for you when you go out. If you are shy are you shy to the point you dont talk to guys, you dont flirt etc. Its hard to know from your post if you just dont see anyone you like or you do see them and are too shy to approach.

Forget about Saturday night expectations for everyone are too high. Friday night is much more laid back - just a thought. If you want a confidence boost go to Copper Faced Jacks on a Monday night and score as much as is humanly possible/you want to.

'its seems very I'm not very interesting to know...' this screams self confidence issue to me. Apart from that no one is going to want to get to know you too deeply on Saturday night. i dont mean this in an insulting way. Forget about putting yourself under so much pressure. Go out have some drinks, feel good, dress up, have confidence, smile, chat, dance. If you feel good someone will feel you up good! Sorry about the last line it is nearly time to go home and i am a bit giddy.

Whatever you do dont give up!!!

homah_7ft

I don't think she is looking for a partner as such, just a friend.

You should try signing up to do some charity work.

King of Kings

i'm in the same boat tbh. i'm 30 and separated and i find , ironically i'm the only with a child, nobody is about anymore. All lazy sitting at home with their better halves.

I go to the gym a lot and usually head out once a week for pints when i'm not with my son. I keep myself busy with stuff i like.
I'm quite enjoying life.
There is loads to do. but you have to find something you like to spend time on. Not just join a club. do something you've an interest in.
the gym does it for me but mightn't be for everybody.

ctimes

Sarah babe, you are not on your own I can tell you. I am pretty outgoing and I find it hard to find anyone to do anything with at the weekends.
Everyone is in relationships or yes have kids. I am in a choir and that only takes up a certain amount of time.
My friends are busy with their lives and up to this point I was in a relationship myself and all of a sudden I don't know what to do with myself....
However I do have to say that sports clubs, music clubs etc.. are great cause you meet people that share a common interest in something and even if thats all you talk about for a while, its gets conversation going. For me its Sat night...I have nothing to do as people are busy or I end up going out with couples....have a look to see if there are any particular single things in your area. its not sad,,its just meeting people who are in exactly the same boart and are taking a step to try and help their situation. Also, speak to your friends about how you feel. You might not think they want to listen, but to be honest sometimes they just don't know what to say and if you are open and honest and if they are true friends they will listen and maybe offer some good advice.
Anyway keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on

cazzy

Wud u not like a bf ??
If you had one wud u b happier ?

One of my friends got divorced and she is in your position -she did some courses and joined a club thing where people do public speaking as she is very shy and finds talking to a group in work very hard so it helps her there too as well as gets her out to meet people. you could join a gym to keep occupied. Or learn a skill. or do voluntary work.

Marksie

cazzy wrote: »

Or learn a skill.

What are you interested in OP. Initially living and commuting I saw no-one for long periods.

I took up a craft and joined a local group and then my social scene improved from there on in.
I also go to various workshops at the weekends and that put me in touch with like minded people.

Its a matter of being proactive in this and looking for opportunities which both interest you and which put you in contact with singles

milkerman

Hi Babe,
Sorry to hear of your loneliness.
If paying the mortgage is cramping your social life have you considered taking on a paying house mate or mates?
My best pals ever were the people I shared house with. Met a few a/holes though but that is life.
You might even meet new friends here.

Regards

Latchy

Hi Sarah , sorry to hear of your situation , somtimes all we want is for sombody to chat to about ,everything ,anything ...

Kind Regards ...

LegacyUser

I spoke to a few friends (with kids) and they just keep saying I wish I was like you, free time......et etc etc.just the same same old with them....I did join J Skellys last feb but nobody spoke to anyone, I was suprised, you wud make soon chit chat and they wud look at you like you had 2 headS......I am going to try speed dating next wed nite in Dublin so I'll keep you informed!!!!!!