Irrational thoughts?

LegacyUser

Hi all, registered user going unreg for this one to protect the innocent...

As the topic suggests, this is probably a completely irrational thought flowing through my mind, or my subconscious being completely spot on through a weird spout of spiritual genius.

I'm going out with my girlfriend 8 months now, and we're very much in love and very happy etc. etc. However, in the last week or so I've been overcome with a very strange sense of fear, but of what I don't know. The other night my girlfriend complained of "lady pains" and ever since my mind has convinced me that my fear is that she's pregnant. Now she's a good two weeks out from her "lady time" so my fear will remain until then, and even then she's very irregular with timing so it could be late.

For the record we've yet to have sex without a condom, and are careful about that kind of stuff.

The reason I'm posting this is because today she came out and said she has these weird feeling of impending doom, though what that doom is she doesn't know.

I know this entire situation is probably the most irrational thing in the world, but it's getting to me in a bad way, especially since I can't know if we're in the clear for another few weeks.

I don't know what kind of advice I could get here, I guess I just wanted to put it out there.

Thanks all!

txt_mess

Maybe your right people that are close to each other do pick up on small changes your subconsious might have spotted something and you were too busy to notice it.

Other part is with the seasonal time change I always find it affects people the days being shorter doesn't help maybe its a quick dose of SAD ( Seasonal Affected Disorder ) and your body clocks are still a bit out of whack.

Easy way to settle yourself is a pregnacy tests they are not 100% but at least it might lead your gf to look elsewhere and go to a doctor if she is having problems with her period.

Black Swan

Worried ish wrote: »

I don't know what kind of advice I could get here, I guess I just wanted to put it out there.

8 months together? Do you have rapport? Do you talk with each other? Share? If not, it's about time?

LegacyUser

I think you may be over reacting! Has something happened to contribute to these thoughts? Have ye guys had an 'accident'(condom split etc)?

Many women get cramps which are very similar to period pains and it usually happens half way through their monthly cycle - this is normal and nothing to worry about.

Is there something else going on in your girlfriends life that could be causing the sense of impending doom?

biko

See a soothsayer

Timothy Bryce

I seriously doubt she's opened up her cavernous duffer and became impregnated

LegacyUser

OTT wrote: »

I think you may be over reacting! Has something happened to contribute to these thoughts? Have ye guys had an 'accident'(condom split etc)?

Many women get cramps which are very similar to period pains and it usually happens half way through their monthly cycle - this is normal and nothing to worry about.

Is there something else going on in your girlfriends life that could be causing the sense of impending doom?

No, as I said the whole feeling is just in my mind, we've had no "accidents" or anything that would contribute to a RATIONAL fear.

And nothing strange is going on in either of our personal lives that would make us have the impending doom fear. Ironically enough I'd rather a bus give me a whack then have her pregnant. That wouldn't be such a terrible doom... (in comparison)

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

I seriously doubt she's opened up her cavernous duffer and became impregnated

lmao
Hopefully

echosound

If it's two weeks to her "due day" for the start of her periods that she got "Ladytwinges", chances are it's ovulation twinges she's getting (happens in and around day 14 of a 28 day cycle). The feeling of impending doom could be just a bit of PMS, especially if she normally doesn't get twinges around ovulation, extra hormones in her system yada yada. Wait til closer to her "due" day, get an early pregnancy test kit, I think you can test up to 4 days before your period is due, and put your mind at rest.

NO point worrying about it til then, as there's little you can do either way! Most women can only get pregnant on 3 or 4 days out of every month, ie around ovulation time ( ranging from 12 - 17 days after first day of period if it's a regular enough 28 day cycle) so if you've had no accidents, and if you haven't done the deed round the timeframe mentioned above, chances are she's not pregnant.

However, stranger things have happened, and sometimes you can get odd feelings that turn out to be right, so you have some things you need to think about here - first, if she does turn out to be pregnant, look at your options and work out what the best way forwards is for both of you.

Second, if she doesn't turn out to be pregnant, and as you say getting hit by a bus would be more amenable to you than a pregnancy (pretty drastic view BTW!), then I'd look at perhaps combining contraceptives - condom plus pill/implant/diaphragm/coil, maybe plus avoiding "fertile" days to be sure to be sure. NO harm getting your GF to look into charting her cycle and learning to recognise when she's likely to be fertile (as I said should be around 3 or 4 days out of every month) and avoiding those days for extra peace of mind. You as a male are fertile every day of your adult life, women on the other hand are not, and it's these days that shold be avoided if you don't want a little surprise!

Book called "taking charge of your fertility" by toni welschler I think, explains how to do this. Might do no harm for your GF to pick it up. I'm not a family planning nut or anything BTW, just was recommended this book myself, and found it great for peace of mind knowing what was going on with cycles and which days to avoid (or to choose if you're trying to get pregnant).

best of luck, hope you get the result you both want and try not to work yourselves up into a froth for the moment, as if your GF is stressed out it might delay the onset of her periods and you'll end up even more worried waiting for them to arrive!

JuliusCaesar

Feelings of impending doom? Could it be anxiety/depression/panic/existential anxiety? Is she worried about her future or is she sorted? Are her feelings getting to you?

Victor

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

I seriously doubt she's opened up her cavernous duffer and became impregnated

Banned.

Talliesin

Worried ish wrote: »

The other night my girlfriend complained of "lady pains" and ever since my mind has convinced me that my fear is that she's pregnant. Now she's a good two weeks out from her "lady time" so my fear will remain until then, and even then she's very irregular with timing so it could be late.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you mean she's due to menstruate in two weeks time.

In which case she was quite likely ovulating the other night. Possible link to the pain, though it could be other things.

Worried ish wrote: »

For the record we've yet to have sex without a condom, and are careful about that kind of stuff.

Even without noticeable evidence of a mis-hap this doesn't guarantee she isn't pregnant.

Worried ish wrote: »

especially since I can't know if we're in the clear for another few weeks.

Why do you have to wait? If the pains related to pregnancy, then it'd have gone far enough to be detected by a home pregnancy test.