Feel so homesick and lonely and unable to change my situation

LegacyUser

I go to college miles away from home and am in my final year. Since I got back to college this year I have hated it so much and am desperately homesick. I felt the same way in my first year but escaped by doing a placement year last year, but now I am back to square one. I don't remember feeling this bad in first year, but on my first day of first year I did go to see the college counselling service to say I'd made a big mistake and wanted to leave - and their idea of help was suggesting I take Prozac.

I'm in my early 20s and have lived away from home for a few years anyway so I can't understand why I am missing it so much now, except to say that college has something to do with it. I feel so isolated and I don't know what to do. I got a part time job thinking that would keep me occupied but I absolutely hate it and am so messed up in my head right now I ended up bursting into tears on my second day there.

Normally I am so level headed and happy but here all I feel is lonely and sad. I don't really have too many friends here (which is also totally unlike me) and if it weren't my final year I'd have left by now and said thanks but no thanks. I feel I am stuck in a horrible situation I can't change and I don't know what to do. I know it will 'get better' but that doesn't help me now and I am only at the start of what is looking to be a horrible year.

-avey-

Hi OP
Sorry to hear ur finding things tough at the moment, i did my final year last year and found it tough at the beginning, the extra pressure of the workload really got to me since it was a 4 year degree i felt if i messed up that year id have nothin to fall back on.. anyway i spoke to my closest friends from home about how i felt and my parents too, as i am the type of person to hide my feelings and put on a front that everything's ok. are there people in ur class that u can talk to? sometimes making a few close friends can really help the situation.. the most important thing is not to bottle it up and let it develop into something worse

Good luck

Ninja_scrotum

You know, I didn't like college either. Almost the same situation as you. (Except i didn't cry cos i'm a boy ) I dropped out before my final year, took my ordinary degree and moved back home to get a job. During the job interviews they didn't ask me about my degree at all. One of the interviews was almost an hour long, and all they said was "oh you have a degree that's nice" then moved along to the work related questions.

What I'm trying to say is... if being in college is making you so unhappy, dropping out is a possibility you know. Your life doesn't end if you drop out. And as I said, if you don't get the full 4 year honors degree, just the ordinary one, nobody will bat an eyelid. You can return home for a year or so, take a break from college life, and think about what you really want to do.

Firetrap

OP, do you like the course you're studying in college? You're having a tough time of it but you're into the last year of the course and it would be a pity if you dropped out if it was going to lead to a career you wanted. I repeated my final year of college and found it lonely because most of my friends had gone. In hindsight, I should have been more proactive in trying to meet new people..in other words, joining a club/society, doing voluntary work or playing a sport. Perhaps too you've got some sort of mental block when it comes to your college - that you hate it so much that it's turned into something worse than it is.

I don't like that all the college counsellor could tell you was to take Prozac. If you can at all, try to see a different counsellor. Hopefully this time they won't tell you to drug your way out of the problem.

star-pants

Hey OP - I was the same, I went to college away from home. Made the mistake my first year coming home every weekend (min 3-4hrs on the coach) and cried every time going back.
It took a while - had to get a job (because you can make friends in the job too). Tried to socialise a bit more with societies (even if I wasn't mad about them, at least they got me out & hopefully some good company to have a laugh with).
In my final year I went a bit crazy as did most of my class - because 4th year was SO much pressure, and it's completely understandable that every little thing is magnified because you are so stressed out.
The best you can do (because you've gotten this far - and I assume it's a course you wanted to do - you don't want to give up now) is try and make friends in your year. I would never have gotten through my final year without them. And support from home (I used to ring & cry down the phone to my mother and she'd just tell me how much she loved me and how proud they all were of me & that I was doing the course I'd always wanted to do).

It's tough to be away from home, missing everyone and just wandering around college feeling sad and lonely -- but you can get through it. I don't think the best advice from the counsellor was to go on Prozac, perhaps see if you can talk to another one?
Just know you're not alone - ever - in these situations, even if family & friends are far away they'll always support you.
I hope you can find a way to settle in. But nothing is ever the end of the world - you can always go back if you feel/choose you need to leave.

Best of luck and if you ever need someone to talk to - pm me, or post up here

Beaucoupfish

Finish your course and get on with it.
Look at your situation in terms of weeks, get through it and reward yourself afterwards. Life is sh*t sometimes and you will surely experience this feeling again.
best of luck..

Marksie

The fact that you are in your final year and that it IS of defined duration means ultimately that your situation will change for you regardless of the title you have in the thread.

Try to accept the homesickness and loneliness in the knowledge that it isnt permanent, once those finals are finished its over and you will have a degree to your name which will help in the future.

For now take each day at a time and contoinue with the course

Goldenquick

Don't be afraid to let your parents know how lonely you are, they may be able to visit you more often and give you support that way. Speaking from a mother's point of view with a teenager in college, I'd rather know if she is unhappy so that I could help in any way I could. A lot of people here can give you sensible advice, I'd listen & talk to them as they may be going through the same problems or may have already and will have a better perspective on how to handle it.

Most of all, if it's getting you down that much, take a break and have a good think about what you want to do. The very best of luck to you.

LegacyUser

I did my primary degree away from home. In my final year I was very stressed and the doctors prescribed anti-depressants. I think that university doctors are too quick to prescribe medication. The medication made me lethargic, I wasn't as active as usual, I ended up not getting the degree I wanted (Not that it matters now, no barrier to getting work).

If you can avoid daily medication and take something as required it is much better also try and find some time to take some excercise even if its just a walk to a coffee shop or a sunday afternoon cycle.

Is there someone you can talk to friend, family. Even if there are no immediate solutions its good to talk it out with someone.

I know you don't want to hear this but it's not long till the end of semester. If you've come this far I'm sure you can see a way through the next while and get a well deserved break.

Best of luck with it.