Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Just a poem.......

  • 22-10-2007 7:51pm
    #1
    imasmeasmecanbe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 129 ✭✭


    Im only new on here so i thought id break the ice with a bit of poetry, wrote this for my girlfriend a few years back. im still with her so obviously it wasnt all bad.

    When?
    When do song birds cease to sing?
    When you are queen and i your king
    For nothing shall come near the grace
    That fills my heart with joy
    and shines upon your face

    When do stars but blackened be
    And when the sun we cease to see?
    When gazed upon beyond thine eyes
    Set a twinkling with my demise

    When she be man and man be she
    And when the moon the sun
    Then you and I will always be
    Then you and I are one.


Comments

  • #2
    turgon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,762 ✭✭✭turgon


    The problem that love peoms generally pose is that they become over sentimental. I think your poem is good in that its nearly overly sentimental, such as "When you are queen and i your king", but it does not reach the limit. "For nothing shall come near the grace, That fills my heart with joy, and shines upon your face" is quite a nice line i must say, taking your emotion for her as a solid thing which has an effect on both of you. Not too fond of the last line "Then you and I are one". But a real thumbs up, especcially for the end of verse one!


Advertisement