I've learnt something shocking, what to do???

LegacyUser

I will try and keep this short.

This morning I found a letter written by my sister ( I wasn't snooping, found by accident) to a girl who is visiting and staying with us.

The letter basically says that my sister is madly in love with this girl and asks her to be her girlfriend. Whilst this is a massive shock (my sister showed no signs of being lesbian/bi and recenlty had a bf), this isn't what is troubling me.

In the letter my sister tells this girl how miserable she has been for the last year, and how much the time they have spent together recently has brigtened up her life. The letter also seems to show my sister as being infatuaited (I don't know if this girl feels the same way).

So here is my problem, how do I deal with this issue. Our parents have always been very cool and supportive, but I am sure this will come as a massive shock to them, my sister is only 19, and like I said, I would never have seen this coming. As my sister said in the letter that she has been so miserable for the last year (again, I didn't notice this, but she tends to keep to herslef) I feel that the situation is delicate. I don't want to do something that could cause her to return to this misery (and possibly hurt herself???) but at the same time, I don't know if I can pretend that I never saw this.

Oryx

Your sis might not be impressed that you read a letter of hers, regardless of the content. And its not your job to tell your parents this news, its hers.

If you hadnt found the letter this situation would pan out as it was going to anyway. So in terms of telling/not telling, Id say let her do it when she wants to. The only thing you need to worry about is how you interact with your her. My opinion would be to say nothing about it directly. Perhaps try talking to her more, to allow her a chance to say something about it to you, and get it in the open.

Ph3n0m

Unreg. wrote: »

I don't know if I can pretend that I never saw this.

Of course you can - you have no business when it comes to your sisters sexuality.

What I am getting at is, why cant you "pretend" you never saw this - this is your sisters business, its not hurting anyone and even as you said you discovered it by accident, you were obviously compelled to read the entire letter.

If I were you - either don't say a word, or at least tell her you read the letter - and don't be surprised if she gets pissed with you for doing that

You ask how "you should deal with it" - leave it alone, thats how you deal with it

LegacyUser

Heres the thing, the letter was attached to a card that had my sisters writing in very large bold letters saying "be my girlfriend". I am sleeping in the living room and gave my sieter and her friend my room whilst her friend is here ( I did this before I found out, cause my siters room is tiny) I went in to my room to get my phone this morning, and the card was left out in a manner in which I couldn't but see it and what it said, thus I literally accidnetllly saw it, fair enough I read on, but what was i suppose to do???

I get on so well with my sister, but this is something that is lifechanging and I just feel that it will be hard to act like I normally do with her whilst i know this secret, (normally were always having a laugh, messing around with each other)

But I feel that if i say anything to her about it, she will get worried about our parents or fearful that her new romance could go wrong ( like I said she came across as very infatuated in this letter) and I don't want to jeopordise that (becasue of what she said about being miserable)

Reku

Leave it to your sister and this girl to sort things out between themselves, unless your sister opens up to you about these feelings bringing them up, and the fact that you read a private letter, will likely only drive her away from you and from the possibility of ever opening up to you when she needs support.

bronte

you'll only open up a can of worms if you broach this subject with her op.
She might feel paranoid and think you've been snooping through her things(even though you haven't)
Let her come to you if she needs to..but this is something she needs to sort out for herself.

mike65

As above. Its not a crime and nothing may even come of it.

Mike.

the_syco

OP, you sound slightly jealous, as she has found herself someone that she's comfortable with.

randylonghorn

If it's an infatuation, it will blow over; if it's real, it will sort itself out (or not). Many young people go through stages where their sexuality is fluid. Personally, I doubt that most peoples sexuality is ever as set in stone as society has taught us to believe, and certainly not in the teenage years.

One way or the other, you have no business knowing what you know, and you should take this as a lesson to not read other peoples private correspondence.

Now that you know, your task is to be a brother and a friend, rather than a judge or a "fixer". Be there for her, be supportive, but don't interfere, and let her come and talk to you about it when / if she feels comfortable doing so.

SarahSassy

Unreg. wrote: »

This morning I found a letter written by my sister ( I wasn't snooping, found by accident)

You were snooping. If not, you would not have read the contents of the letter....

Its not your place to broadcast this. Its not your life nor your news. Its up to your sister to 'choose' her sexuality and to tell people when she is ready.

You seem to be making excuses about her possibly hurting herself in order to justify opening the lid on this...

Time for you to back off and leave her to it....

SS

PS its bad manners to read other peoples correspondence...

Dudess

Unreg. wrote: »

The letter basically says that my sister is madly in love with this girl and asks her to be her girlfriend. Whilst this is a massive shock (my sister showed no signs of being lesbian/bi and recenlty had a bf), this isn't what is troubling me.

It clearly is. Your poor sister would die of embarrassment if you told her you know about it, so keep your mouth zipped and let her get on with it. Isn't it great that someone has arrived in her life who's made her happy when she's not feeling the happiest?

Talliesin

Unreg. wrote: »

So here is my problem, how do I deal with this issue.

What issue?

Unhappy girl meets nice person, feels happier.

Back when I was 19 we generally considered this a good thing. What's changed?

star-pants

OP I understand that you might be shocked of your sisters possible sexual preference,
however as most people here have pointed out -- she has not brought this subject to anyones attention yet. Possibly for many reasons, she may not be sure herself / isn't ready to tell people / wants to be more comfortable or secure.

I wouldn't tell her -- how would you feel if someone read something about your life that noone else knew about yet -- it would make you feel most awkward and it would be putting her on the spot.

If she's happy then that's the main thing -- if she'd expressed sadness to such a level that caused concern then that's a different matter.
She is seemingly happy in who she is / is becoming.

The best thing you can do is make sure you support her - I don't know if ye are close (you mentioned she keeps to herself) - you could try a girly night, make her comfortable around you, have girly chats.
She'll tell people (if there's something to tell) when she's ready/wants to. And that's her decision.

moco

By the way, alot of young girls become infatuated with other girls at school or whatever but not in a sexual way but don't know how to express it. It's more that they want to be them rather than be with them.

Lazarus2.0

Take on board that she's been miserable for the last year and you haven't noticed , since you've read the thing (you made a big assumption in reading it though) . Find more time for her and if she really wants you to know how and who she is she will tell you but don't go fishing . Just be her brother and let it go from there .

Beruthiel

Unreg/// wrote: »

I get on so well with my sister, but this is something that is lifechanging and I just feel that it will be hard to act like I normally do with her whilst i know this secret, (normally were always having a laugh, messing around with each other

Life changing? Her life hasn't changed, for her it's been the same as always. Your sister is still your sister, she hasn't changed, she will behave the same with you as she always has.
You however, have learned something about her sexuality you weren't supposed to. It's really none of your business, if she wished to inform you, she would have. Thus far, she's elected to keep this side of herself private. Respect that, if you don't, you risk damaging your relationship with her. Carry on as you normally would.

btw - you're choice of words say a lot - "you've learned something shocking" - in fact, you mention 'shock' more than once. Considering your sister knows you better than we do, there maybe a very good reason she has elected to keep this private. Look within to your attitudes.

Gemini Sister

OP I have a bit of experience in this area


When I was a teenager I was in love with a best friend. She felt the same way. When we were eighteen we got drunk and confessed how we felt. We then had a sexual experience together.

A few weeks later she wrote me an explicit letter. My mother opened it, read it andwent nuts. It was highly embarassing and I still believe wrong of her to do it. I was already a difficult teenager with a difficult relationship with my family and this drove us even further apart. There is NOTHING as private as someone's sexually. And family have NO business in it. Also as you get older, families put some distance between each other, its not a bad thing, its just getting on with your own life. Its part of growing up.

Talk to her about the girl if you are close - don't ever let her know you read the letter, cause that really will make her feel exposed and vulnerable and angry. If she wants to confide in you about her feelings, she will.

Incidently I'm now a full functioning heterosexual. After years of inatuation with my friend and other girls as a teenager, trying sex with a girl was a totalturn off. In fact I faked an orgasm The other girl is totally straight now too. And my mother and I have never referred to the incident again. Which is better all round.

Gemini Sister

Oh - and there's also a good chance she was never going to send that letter anyway - we've all written letters to wor through our feelings for someone & then not taken it any further... let it blow over.

luckat

Perhaps the best course is to mind your own business and keep your nose out of your sister's letters in future. What were you thinking of?

*If* your sister seems deeply unhappy at some later stage, you might *possibly* delicately bring up the question of star-crossed lovers.

But for the moment, and most likely for the rest of your life, this is really none of your affair.

LegacyUser

The situation isn't as simple as some of you like to think it is, "evil brother rips open letter and reads...."

The girl she wrote this letter to is presently staying with us for one week. I have a large bedroom with a tv, sky pc etc. and my sister asked me a while back would I let her and her friend stay in my room seeing as her room was fairly small for 2 people, I agreed.

Yesterday morning I went into MY ROOM to get my phone, where my phone was placed, there was a large card lying face open with my sisters writing in bold letters saying will you be my girlfriend, the girl she gave it to opened it and left it in this incredibly stupid place, I couldn't but see it. I immediatley was taken a back by it all, Is this a crime????

Like I said, it is not my sisters sexuality that was bothering me, I fully respect that it is her business and if that is what makes her happy, thats what makes me happy. However, we get on so well and share alot of things, thats why I felt shocked and appalled to see my sister say that she has been so miserable for the last year, this is what is bothering me so much.

Because of the nature of the situation, there was not a single person I could confide in (we share the same friends) so I apologise for coming on to borads and offending yous, I just hope that if you learn that a family member has been living in misery (without you knowing or being able to do anything about that) that you can put that to the back of your mind and get on with things, watch a bit of tv, have a few pints.

I suggest a mod locks this thread now.

curiousxxx1

She may be your sister but you need to pretend that letter doesn't exist. She would let anyone know when she's good and ready, she has been with the girl in question.... She might be confused about her sexual preference and isn't ready to say anything yet, so OP just keep your mouth zipped until she's ready

Unreg.

Unreg. wrote: »

So here is my problem, how do I deal with this issue.

I don't see any issue, let alone a "lifechanging" one. It's her life, not yours.
And it's absolutely none of your business.
And if your sister starts going out with this gf and is happy, you be happy for her.
Seriously, get over yourself.
And don't snoop in future.

Pub07

Unreg. wrote: »

So here is my problem, how do I deal with this issue.

See if they're up for a threesome?

Ickle Magoo

Has PI suddenly become a mini AH at the mo?! :rolleyes:

Anyway OP, I agree that it shouldn't be a problem for you. She's an adult & as such, perfectly entitled to explore her sexuality any which way she wants. I think you should just put it to the back of your mind & treat it as you would if you had discovered a love letter she had written to a guy.

She may not be a lesbian, she may be - she may be bi or just have a bit of an infatuation with this particular girl. You don't know the details & I don't think you have the right to confront your sister or tell anyone about the details you do know. How would you want your sister to handle things if she had read your letter? Best of luck.

Gordon

Pub07 banned.

Smiley012

Unreg. wrote: »

So here is my problem, how do I deal with this issue. Our parents have always been very cool and supportive, but I am sure this will come as a massive shock to them, my sister is only 19, and like I said, I would never have seen this coming. As my sister said in the letter that she has been so miserable for the last year (again, I didn't notice this, but she tends to keep to herslef) I feel that the situation is delicate. I don't want to do something that could cause her to return to this misery (and possibly hurt herself???) but at the same time, I don't know if I can pretend that I never saw this.

Ok OP you obviously are referring to her issue of being gay/bi/infatuated whatever. While yes, you do state that her being so miserable worried you, but she isn't anymore, she said she's happy now now she's met this girl.

Very clumsy of her to leave her *private* open letter beside *your* phone :rolleyes:

From experience, leave this alone. It might be an initial shock cos you guys are quite close and 'mess around' so you're probably a bit hurt that she didn't confide in you.

As other people stated, sexuality is private, and running to parents to tell them is so the wrong thing to do, she could end up hating you.

Or try and talk to her about this from a non-direct POV. mention the other girl, how nice she is, etc etc. See if she'll tell you herself.

Everything would be much better!

uberwolf

Unreg_istered wrote: »

Like I said, it is not my sisters sexuality that was bothering me, I fully respect that it is her business and if that is what makes her happy, thats what makes me happy. However, we get on so well and share alot of things, thats why I felt shocked and appalled to see my sister say that she has been so miserable for the last year, this is what is bothering me so much.

Can the brigade please distinguish between two things. The sexuality/infatuation topic, and the misery topic.

Everyone loves to take the highground and pontifiicate about the OP's close minded bigotry, when he has clarified that it is the depression/misery which concerns him. And I do think he should respond in some way to her.

I'm not sure how, and maybe the thread could address this rather than satisfying their own urges to clarify their PC leanings.

uberwolf

Smiley012 wrote: »

Ok OP you obviously are referring to her issue of being gay/bi/infatuated whatever. While yes, you do state that her being so miserable worried you, but she isn't anymore, she said she's happy now now she's met this girl.

she may be happy only as long as she has the hope that this is going somewhere, if the advance is rejected OR this girl who lives a distance away (different country?) means that the comfort blanket may be removed. Then what? The OP is hardly expected to let his sister spiral into depression and the potentially horrific outcome of that.

randylonghorn

Unreg_istered wrote: »

The situation isn't as simple as some of you like to think it is, "evil brother rips open letter and reads...."

In fairness, mate, I don't think anyone said you were "evil", just that you shouldn't have read her correspondence.

Unreg_istered wrote: »

Yesterday morning I went into MY ROOM to get my phone, where my phone was placed, there was a large card lying face open with my sisters writing in bold letters saying will you be my girlfriend, the girl she gave it to opened it and left it in this incredibly stupid place, I couldn't but see it.

Fair enough, kinda absolves you of snooping all right, but you didn't make that clear in the first place. People can only respond to what you tell them, we're not psychics.

Unreg_istered wrote: »

I immediatley was taken aback by it all, Is this a crime????

No.

Unreg_istered wrote: »

Because of the nature of the situation, there was not a single person I could confide in (we share the same friends) so I apologise for coming on to borads and offending yous, I just hope that if you learn that a family member has been living in misery (without you knowing or being able to do anything about that) that you can put that to the back of your mind and get on with things, watch a bit of tv, have a few pints.

There's no need to apologise, and you certainly didn't offend me. And I certainly don't think you can just wipe it from your mind, as if it never happened. But the basic advice I gave you is still the best advice I can give you:

randylonghorn wrote: »

Now that you know, your task is to be a brother and a friend, rather than a judge or a "fixer". Be there for her, be supportive, but don't interfere, and let her come and talk to you about it when / if she feels comfortable doing so.

I'm not saying it will be easy, it won't ... but in my view it's still the best way to handle this.


(Oh, and bear in mind that due to the fact that unregistered posts need to be approved by a moderator, there can be a delay before they appear, but they are still timestamped with the time you posted them. Thus, just because a post appears AFTER one of yours doesn't always mean the person has actually read your post. )

Ickle Magoo

OP,

Sorry, your latest post wasn't there when I posted.

How comfortable would you be telling your sister you read the letter & that you are worried about her? How do you think she would take it?

I'm not sure how best to approach this if you don't want to tell her you read the letter other than keeping an extra close eye on her & being there for her when this girl goes home again. Maybe just keep an eye on things until the friend goes & then tell her you read the letter & want her to know you are there to help/talk to if ever she wants to & keep it between the two of you?

ian_m

Tell her "maybe we should hook up more often.." Ask her if she wants to go somewhere to do something. Casually ask your her out for a beer of coffee.
Give her every opportunity to tell you how she feels about things.

Don't ever let her know you read that letter. Just support her, as every family should. It's not your fault she hasn't said anything to you yet.
Just be there for her and make sure she knows that. Good luck.

Talliesin

Unreg_istered wrote: »

However, we get on so well and share alot of things, thats why I felt shocked and appalled to see my sister say that she has been so miserable for the last year, this is what is bothering me so much.

You can't push that.

Right now, she's feeling happy with her new girlfriend, so take comfort from that.

Some things you can share with a partner you can't share with a sibling.

Dudess

uberwolf wrote: »

Everyone loves to take the highground and pontifiicate about the OP's close minded bigotry, when he has clarified that it is the depression/misery which concerns him.

No he hasn't.

And I do think he should respond in some way to her.

Why? The girl didn't mean for him to find out. That in itself is good enough reason for him to keep schtumm. Not to mention the mortification the poor girl would feel if he did confront her.

PC leanings.

*Groan* - there's that over-used/misused term AGAIN. People who complain about others being PC (and it's not even that PC - I mean it's not unreasonable to object to narrow-mindedness) are as annoying as actual PC zealots.

l3LoWnA

You cannot and should not even give your sister any sort of idea that you nosied into her very very private and personal letter. it will cause HUGE humiliation for her and is an extremely personal thing for you to have stumbled accross....can't believe she left it in full view of anyone who walked into the room!

Leave it alone. Keep an eye on her if you're worried she's sufferig from depression or what have you. But if you are close and you didn't notice her being so low well then she may not have been ALL that unhappy for the past while at all, for all you know she was only saying that to this new friend to boost HER confidence.

Keep out of it!! It's your sisters relationship. NONE of your business!!

syklops

for the second time tonight, I find my self saying "Am I missing something?".

Perhaps its the mix of caffiene and beer, but, What exactly was the shocking bit? Your sister fancies a girl. And? What percentage of women have felt attracted to other women? Cant remember the figure but its pretty high. The main reason the number is not the same as men is because men will never admit to anyone that they have looked at another guy sexually, where as women will.

Put yourself in her shoes. Your nineteen, possibly sexually inexperienced, bit of an introvert, like chilling in your room, listening to music none of your family friends etc like, and you meet someone who understands you, who likes what you like, someone you feel you can connect with.

Alternatively, she is a lesbian, she already knew she is one, and has finally found some one she can fall in love with. Either way, its no major shocker.

I know that guys can have a preoccupation with lesbians. I at times have one myself, but just remember its your sister. She is probably your oldest best friend, so take out, do nice brotherly stuff for her, but never let her know you read her letter, because she will not forgive you for a long time.

uberwolf

Dudess wrote: »

No he hasn't.

Read My Post. Including my quote from the OP. Yes he has.

Right, thank you. Apology accepted.

My comment re: PC - I think he is entitled to be upset if his sister turns out to be gay. It's not his problem as such, but you can't dictate to people how they should feel instantly on finding out something like that.
He's narrow minded if he never deals with it, but in the first day or two this information can be difficult to absorb.

And the reason I think he should respond is because he has discovered that his sister is 'miserable' - we've no insight into this, and I don't think waiting until she needs to be peeled from train tracks is a good idea, because everyone here would wash their hands of it quickly enough, and his family would be struggling to rebuild their lives. So further insight is required. And I've no idea how the OP would go about this.

dudara

uberwolf wrote: »

And the reason I think he should respond is because he has discovered that his sister is 'miserable' - we've no insight into this, and I don't think waiting until she needs to be peeled from train tracks is a good idea, because everyone here would wash their hands of it quickly enough, and his family would be struggling to rebuild their lives. So further insight is required. And I've no idea how the OP would go about this.

I agree with uberwolf. The main concern that the OP has is the fact that his sister described her life as 'miserable'. He is worried that this is going unnoticed by his family. Could people please address that topic instead of focusing on the more minor sexuality topic.

dudara

star-pants

Apologies OP - It wasn't quite clear in the first post - it did seem like it was the sexuality issue that was more prominent.

regarding her being 'miserable' the past year... I understand your concern - you're her brother (another apology I assumed you were a sister) and you guys are probably close ish and yet she's never shown signs to you or confided this in you.

I have had some friends who have gone through serious bouts of depression on different levels for different reasons. Each person is different unfortunately - some get very defensive and can back off completely if you approach them about the issue if they don't want to talk about it / haven't told you yet. Whereas others are looking for help/attention (not necessarily attention seeking but wanting someone caring for them) and it can still be as tricky.

I would still suggest maybe try an evening/day just the two of ye- having fun, maybe spoiling her, talk about anything and everything. You could say to her that you've noticed she's been happier recently and you like to see her happy (or something along those lines). Coming out and en quiring as to why she has been 'miserable' would probably not be the best way to go about it, you don't want to push her away.
Have you noticed she has been happier the last few weeks? If so at least that is some comfort that she is maybe coming out of a dark patch. some people go through bad patches for little/big/random reasons, and hopefully she is coming out of hers.

But I know you want to make sure she's ok - and it's a tough situation and I do empathise with you. So perhaps just try lots of random chats and things, maybe open up to her about something in your life... ? might spur her to open up to you (but that's only if she wants /feels comfortable -- and don't feel its a bad reflection on you it's not - just sometimes it's hard to tell the people closest to you how you're really feeling - -you don't want them worrying/ feeling they have to wrap you up in bubblewrap and mind you)

wish you the best of luck and I hope your sisters ok.
x

LegacyUser

To Dudara and Uberwolf, thank you for reading my posts and trying to understand how I am feeling, it is immensley frustrating reading post after post that are calling you a bigot towards someone you love, that is not the case as I have stated.

As things stand, I have done or said nothing. I have tried to act as normal around my sister as I usually would, but I do feel concerned and it feels so strange that we can be sitting in the living room together and that I am powerless to try and talk to her and understand how she is/was feeling.

The problem is, the two issues are intertwined. I don't want to keep the issue of her misery to myself, but at the same time, the only way I can talk to her, or my parents, about it would be to reveal the whole situation, and I feel that could make things worse at present (but longterm I'm not so sure, I don't want her becoming miserable and not being able to do anything about it).

Can people please stop saying that I have noseied, or that I should get over my sisters sexuality, PLEASE READ ALL MY POSTS!. And thanks to those who keep bestowing me with such useful gems as "keep your mouth zipped, its none of your business...."

Dudess

uberwolf wrote: »

Read My Post. Including my quote from the OP. Yes he has.

Right, thank you. Apology accepted.

Ok, sorry, but the OP's second post took ages to appear. The weekend and all that - possibly no mods around to approve a post from an unregistered person. But yes, I should have read the quote on your post. I, and others, were going by the opening post which, to be fair, did give the impression that the OP was shocked by his sister's sexuality.

estar

ok, ok. i think you have a point there. i would be concerned about
someone stating they were miserable, if they seemed to be hiding it.
years and years ago, i rem my mother reading my diary, finding
out that i was doing things i shouldnt and sitting me down and
talking to me about it. i was angry then, but now im glad she did.
she didnt judge me over it. anyway not suggesting you raise it
with her, just saying to everyone how many of us in the same situation
would leave that card lying there. im sad to say i would prob read it.
as deep down im a bit nosy.

why not ask your sister out for a drink and see if it comes up.
spend more time hanging around her than usual. ask her if there
is anything bothering her as she has seemed quiet (or something
like that) and if you really are concerned, admit what happened.
say it feel open on the floor and you couldnt help reading it
and you couldnt give a TOSS about who she wants to go out with
but that you were upset to hear her being uphappy.

to everyone else on boards there are many parents and siblings
out there who mignt have seen little signs like this lying around
and didnt act on them, and now are sorry they didnt. it may be
nothing, lets hope that it is. at least he is concerned.

so i can understand your concern, although not advocating
reading diaries and the like.

Talliesin

Unr_eg_istered wrote: »

And thanks to those who keep bestowing me with such useful gems as "keep your mouth zipped, its none of your business...."

You're welcome.

I don't agree with that advice in its entirety - it is your business if your sister is miserable - but I do think keeping quiet is the best approach for the time being.

Just because it would be frustrating to do so, doesn't necessarily make it a bad idea.

oneeyedsnake

Just bring her to the doctor and get him to put her on a large dose of tricyclic anti depressants, she won't feel down for a few months so will probably forget about her lesbian fantasies, then once she starts coming off the tricyclics her head will be so messed up the last thing you and your parents will be worried about will be her homosexual tendencies.Problem sorted!

Nevyn

oneeyedsnake banned.

echosound

I reckon you should do as some other posters suggested - try to get her out for a coffee or a beer, have a good chat, mention that you think she's been a bit quiet/introverted lately, and is everything ok? Give her an opening to talk to you about her sadness or upset that she's been having for the past while.

The other thing I'd watch for is that you don't know how the other girl reacted - many posters seem to assume that she is now with said girl (apologies if I missed that part somewhere in your post, I assumed she had merely written a card to the girl).

What I'm getting at is that your sister may be rebuffed, the other girl she is into may not have the same feelings for her, and she may have rejected her, and depending on how she took it, it may have been a bad rejection if the other girl is in fact straight and not mature enough to handle it sensitively (ie she has a bad reaction along the lines of "ugh, no way, that's revolting, get away from me, instead of "I'm flattered but I don't feel the same way"). Trust me, I've been there (the straight friend who had a gay friend declare her feelings for me) and if the girl is mature, she'll handle it well and sensitively, but if she's not, she may react badly, sending your sister into misery again.

Keep an eye on your sister without making it obvious, because if she is rejected in a horrible way, and the love she obviously had to build herself up to announcing is unrequited or rebuffed, she may be even more upset than she has been. Don't say anything to your parents about her sexuality or anything, at the most all I'd say, if you're going to say anything at all, would be something along the lines of "have you noticed that X is a lot quieter lately" -something that can be said in passing without raising red flags that you have read her innermost thoughts and have your parents trying to pry said info from you.

Just try to be a good brother, spend more time with her if you can, give her an ear that she can open up to if she wants to,and let her know she can tell you anything and you won't be judgemental or let it go further and let it reach your parent's ears (ie let her know she can trust you).

One way of doing that might be - do you have any private thoughts or issues you could share with her? Go to her with a problem or issue you may have had, I don't mean something huge or painful that you don't wish to disclose, could be even something as simple as mentioning "the time this girl you really fell for didn't feel the same" (see where I'm going with this?) and tell her about it - if she thinks you think highly enough of her to share, she may then open up to you.