Despicable Individual

LegacyUser

Last year I loaned 4K to someone who I considered a very close personal friend (of 22 years) & also a friend of the family. This was an informal arrangement, to be paid back after 4 weeks. The only stipulation was that if there was to be any delay on repayment for any reason, then she was to call me & let me know.
She gave me her word that there would be no problems with repayment & I would be called immediately if there were any delays.
After six months of trying to recover the money amicably & being fobbed off/ ignored/ blanked & just plain lied to, I took the advice of boards members & used a solicitor .
After a further six months of ducking/ diving /game playing & more lies the matter was finally resolved , but it did leave me with legal costs in excess of €1000 which means that I’m actually short of breaking even on this (that’s ok, as far as I’m concerned this was never about just money).

The situation is this: Though she has spent the past year avoiding me, sooner or later our paths will cross again, either professionally, socially (she socialises with some of the same people I do) or just out on the street .
I know she will attempt to downplay & minimise the whole thing. Any ideas on how to handle this without “ losing it”.

Cormster

Hi. I am sorry to hear of your prediciment re: the money and the hardship in getting it back.
Should you meet her, I think you should maintain the mindset that it was her that borrowed money from you, her that agreed to your terms and her inaction, dishonesty, and mistreatment of you caused you to go to the lengths you went to. This means taking the morale high ground to a degree.

If she says nothing to you about it, perhaps you are as well to ignore her - after all someone who does what she did is not someone I would regards as much of a friend and may not be worth engaging with any further.

If she starts talking about it to anyone, just explain the situation as it was - she borrowed money and failed to pay it back according to terms she agreed, you attempted to resolve the situation amicably and when this did not work, you were unfortunately forced to consult a solicitor in order to retrieve the (hard-earned) cash that belonged to you but that she was withholding.

It won't be easy though, but I think the above approach, if done without losing your cool, should help indicate to anyone who hears the situation that she was in the wrong.

Good look with it.

Marksie

Good enough advice from Cormster. Its unlikely she will say anything and if the matter crops up then just tell the truth.

Other than that, if its social ignore her, if its professional then the minimum contact/interrelation to get the job done.

Bottle_of_Smoke

If you get any sh it off anyone for getting a solicitor remind them how much it cost you.

How did the process work? Did she pay you back immediately when the solicitor got on to her? How did you prove she owed you the money?

I'd avoid the temptation of telling everyone how much of a kunt she is, might end up making you look bad. She might even start making **** up.

Carrigart Exile

I would not remain in teh same room as her, and I certainly would not speak to her. If she wishes to apologise and make good your legal bills then perhaps you can rebuild, otherwise she is gone.

Miss Fluff

Asphalt Monkey wrote: »

The situation is this: Though she has spent the past year avoiding me, sooner or later our paths will cross again, either professionally, socially (she socialises with some of the same people I do) or just out on the street .
I know she will attempt to downplay & minimise the whole thing.

In that case you have to grab every God given opportunity with both hands and tar her name. Why protect the scumbag, she has acted in such a vile manner, I'd have no hesitation in telling everyone what's she's done.

How Strange

I agree with Cormster, just wait and see how it plays out. If she says anything then explain the situation concisely and matter of factly. If she doesn't then say nothing.

IMO, don't go out to tell everyone who knows her all about it as this will make you look bitter and vengeful. You've got the high ground on this one so just see what happens.

Dudess

Miss Fluff wrote: »

In that case you have to grab every God given opportunity with both hands and tar her name. Why protect the scumbag, she has acted in such a vile manner, I'd have no hesitation in telling everyone what's she's done.

Agreed. And let her know she also owes you legal costs - maybe be more assertive with her next time.

IrishMike

I would treat her like crap to be honest.
Make no effort at being courteous or even civil.
Treat her like she killed your dog or something, she deserves nothing better

LegacyUser

Thank you for your feedback. As yet I haven't run into her .
I found out recently that my brother (who is fully aware of the past situation, in fact he is the one who told me to keep after her for payment) and his wife have been going out to restaraunts with her & her other half. I really don't know how to feel about this or what a reasonable reaction would be . Isn't blood supposed to be thicker than water?