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Bf Is Depressed

  • 15-10-2007 5:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    my bf is 22 and im with him 2 years.his dad died 2months ago and on thursday(my bday) he told me he was depressed and the doctors thought he was suicidal and that his mother was putting him away in a hospital for the weekend to get tested etc- he told me i wouldnt be able to contact him that he wouldnt have his phone with him- and said he wasnt sure when he would get in touch with me.

    Its now monday night and ive heard nothing at all- he was ment to be back to work today i dont even know if he was in. hes not answering his phone or the text i sent this morning.His mothers not answering my calls either. Id a horrible birthday cos all i did was worry about him.

    I dont really know what im asking here! Just peoples opnions i guess


Comments

  • #2
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Hi op, unfortunately we can't time these things.
    Your boyfriend is clearly going through a really tough time and all you can do is try and be supportive.
    I'm sure contact will be resumed as soon as it can be, try and give him a bit of space right now to deal with what's going on in his head.


  • #3
    How Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    OP, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do now except wait for your bf to contact you when he feels able. He must be in a truly awful state after his dad committed suicide. That is a huge burden to bear for anyone.

    All you can do is be there for him when he does contact you again and be there for him. You have a tough time ahead of you too so good luck to you.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    How Strange wrote: »
    He must be in a truly awful state after his dad committed suicide.QUOTE]

    his dad did not commite suicide i didnt say that i said the docs think my bf is suicidal- his dad died of cancer


  • #5
    pete4130
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,944 ✭✭✭pete4130


    OP,

    Please hang in there. My partner suffers from depression. It is very hard to deal with, especially at first. The lack of contact with you is most likely not because of anything you've done (or not done) in respects of being there for your BF. He is going through a tough time and people who are suffering from depression don't neccessarily see things as they might normally do. You are great for being there for him and being so supportive even though right now you may not realise this with the lack of contact. Not knowing how he is or how he is feeling is probably the thing that is upsetting you the most, especially not being able to get in contact with his mother. I'm sure his mum is upset too with her loss and havint to cope with her son not being well right now too.
    You seem very close to your bf as you care alot about him. I know it is hard to do but give things a little more time. I understand its hard not knowing but just be there for him as much as you can. He may not realise it but you are and will be a great source of strength for him.
    Maybe an idea would be to send a text message or email letting him, or his mum know how worried and concerned you are for him and that it would mean alot to you if you knew how things were with him. Also say that you understand that he might want some time to himself and that you are there for him when he needs you. Give him space until the end of the week if neccessary and then maybe step up your efforts to try to contact him again.


  • #6
    How Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    Sorry, OP. I misread the post. The rest of what I said still stands though.
    How Strange OP, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do now except wait for your bf to contact you when he feels able.
    All you can do is be there for him when he does contact you again and be there for him. You have a tough time ahead of you too so good luck to you.


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  • #7
    _hybrid_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭_hybrid_


    i've been in a very similar situation as your boyfriends. Its very hard to describe but even the thought of any form of contact with anyone will be seriously stressing him out. When you're in that position you just need to cut off completely for a while, trust me he will come back but it will be when he's ready, it could be months. if you keep trying to get in contact he might just get so stressed that he could end it when he doesn't really want to. if you just let him know you're there when he needs you and contact whenever he feels like it (then dont contact him until he does you). i know its hard but its the best way, it will work out way better in the long run


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