Let her move in

patrick2007

ok so i'm with a girl for 8 months and we get on grand,I'm buying my house on my own. i get the feeling she wants to move in, just hints so far but i am expecting her to ask me pretty soon. she is not employed at the moment and i'm afraid that if she moves in she wont be bothered to get a job as i'm paying the mortgage, plus if say this were to happen and in a few years we split up would it be possible she could try get some of the equity of my house? i know this sounds very calculating but i feel like i need to protect myself judging by some of the other threads i've read on some other sites, any comments/advice would be appreciated.

m83

Don't let her moce in.

biko

We can't give legal advice here but if you're not married I don't see her having any rights. Unless she pays rent as a tenant.

patrick2007

sorry guys just copped my mistake should be "move"

mikemac

She could live in your house rent-free and yet can still claim equity?
Tbh, if I was a judge I'd say she owed you money if this ever went to court.

You're right to protect yourself OP. I know this came up a while ago so do a search and it might answer your questions.
Maybe get her to sign something that any money she gives you is for bills and possibly rent and it's not going towards your mortgage.

I also think you should post this in the legal forum. The guys will sort you out

IRISH RAIL

after a certain period of time she becomes your common law wife :eek:
and is entitled to assets

personally dont let her move in till she has a job maybe say you need your independance for a while then before she does have a soliciter draw up a contract that says if you split she gets nothing

super_furry

Eight months isn't really enough either. I'd definately nix the idea.

K-9

IRISH RAIL wrote:

after a certain period of time she becomes your common law wife :eek:
and is entitled to assets

No, no recognition is given to unmarried couples in Ireland. However, if she can argue she contributed to the mortgage she may have some case. Consult a solicitor.

There is talk of updating the laws for unmarried couples so check that out as well.

TheDriver

8 months, no way. you need to enjoy the honey moon period before the heavy living together bit which should come bit more down the road. Also, you haven't mentioned about the unemployment but give the distinct impression that you are suspicious she won't get a job and are concerned about her "freeloading" off you for future to come so on that basis, you should look at your relationship too. She shouldn't be hinting anyways, its your house, its up to you to do what you want with it.
And one piece of advice, if she starts putting down any of your choices in the house e.g. room colours etc(I don't mean mere advice but rather putting down your ideas) I would suggest you go with what you want unless everyone says you shouldn't e.g. bright green rooms blinding everyone as I have a mate who got dictated to in his new house by his now ex gf and regrets that he should have done what he wanted.
best of luck

patrick2007

slightly suspicious i suppose, like i said earlier i just wana protect myself as i've worked extremely hard on my career to allow myself be in a position to buy my own home, i have brought it up that i wanted her to get a fulltime job, however all i got back is that i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum. in my opinion i think i'm right to want this as the way prices are today it does take 2 people to be in fulltime employment to have a comfortable lifestyle, or am I being too materialistic?

dame

Surely she does want to be in employment though? If she's not looking at all, or not looking seriously enough then I'd say she is a free-loader (but obviously I don't know her at all and could be completely wrong).

I agree that 8 months is too soon to be moving in together anyway though.

I'd go with the tenancy agreement type thing (I'm not a solicitor so whatever you need to do there ), if she is moving in before you're certain that you'll be together for the long haul.

Congrats on the new house by the way!

gcgirl

she pays anything towards house she is entitled to portion of it ! if she does not want to work whats the point? she prob is a free loader

patrick2007

she was working when i first met her, then she was parttime and now she doesnt work. i'm really confused about this situation to be honest, should i cut my losses and move on or wait and see what happens? she's a really nice girl, she treats me well as i do her, we have a good time together..

gcgirl

patrick2007 wrote:

she was working when i first met her, then she was parttime and now she doesnt work. i'm really confused about this situation to be honest, should i cut my losses and move on or wait and see what happens? she's a really nice girl, she treats me well as i do her, we have a good time together..

just tell her to wait see how things go but don't let her move in for a while preferable a couple of years as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder! and if she can hack that well then she might be ok! but i would be encouraging her to get a job as there is plenty of them out there!

K-9

patrick2007 wrote:

however all i got back is that i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum. in my opinion i think i'm right to want this as the way prices are today it does take 2 people to be in fulltime employment to have a comfortable lifestyle, or am I being too materialistic?

You're not being unreasonable, you want her to pay her way. She either appreciates the effort you made to buy the house, or she doesn't?

Watch the mind games as well, "x" amount per annum! No, you don't want her hanging around your house doing nothing! Very slick of her to blame you though! Alarm bells!

dame wrote:

If she's not looking at all, or not looking seriously enough then I'd say she is a free-loader (but obviously I don't know her at all and could be completely wrong).

Fair assumption, this isn't the 50's. One question OP, when she did work and earn her own money, did she pay half or even buy the odd round off drink on a night out?
That tells a lot.

gcgirl wrote:

she pays anything towards house she is entitled to portion of it ! if she does not want to work whats the point? she prob is a free loader

Mad, but if she pays nothing, you've nothing to worry about. If she pays something, you may have! I suppose you can't complain both ways!;)
Get legal advice on this one.

patrick2007 wrote:

she was working when i first met her, then she was parttime and now she doesnt work. i'm really confused about this situation to be honest, should i cut my losses and move on or wait and see what happens? she's a really nice girl, she treats me well as i do her, we have a good time together..

Any particular reason she went from full to part time, then unemployed? I'm sure she is a nice girl and treats you well.

Then again if a girl was paying for you while you where unemployed and you where considering moving in with them, wouldn't you be a nice boy?

Goes back to, she's your equal, not some princess thing!:rolleyes:

patrick2007

Seanies32 wrote:

You're not being unreasonable, you want her to pay her way. She either appreciates the effort you made to buy the house, or she doesn't?

Fair assumption, this isn't the 50's. One question OP, when she did work and earn her own money, did she pay half or even buy the odd round off drink on a night out?
That tells a lot.


Yes thats the one thing thats getting to me i suppose, i've worked very hard to be in the position i'm in, a lot of sacrifices ahve been made,and when i think about it I would be unhappy to know she's in my house while i'm out working, we do go 50/50 when we're out. sometimes she does say she hasnt got much money on a paticular week so i dont mind paying, but she would have money in her pocket if she had a full time job i suppose, i'm just not really impressed with the fact that she hasnt got the drive to go and get another job to be honest, she says ahe loves me and i know if i broke up with her she would be devestated but i have to look after myself at the end of the day, again as i'm reading this i'm making myself sound very materialistic and calculating which in reality i'm the very opossite(believe it or not):)

K-9

patrick2007 wrote:

Yes thats the one thing thats getting to me i suppose, i've worked very hard to be in the position i'm in, a lot of sacrifices ahve been made,and when i think about it I would be unhappy to know she's in my house while i'm out working, we do go 50/50 when we're out. sometimes she does say she hasnt got much money on a paticular week so i dont mind paying, but she would have money in her pocket if she had a full time job i suppose, i'm just not really impressed with the fact that she hasnt got the drive to go and get another job to be honest, she says ahe loves me and i know if i broke up with her she would be devestated but i have to look after myself at the end of the day, again as i'm reading this i'm making myself sound very materialistic and calculating which in reality i'm the very opossite(believe it or not):)

Well in fairness, you know she's unemployed so you can't make a big issue of 50/50! It's good she makes some effort though!

You're not being materialistic. If anything she is! She's expecting to move in and not pay nothing. She made the issue of xx per annum when you didn't.

You just want her to have a job! Not unreasonable or materialistic whatsoever.

Speaking of work, it sounds like this girl will be a full time job when she moves in!;) I'd bide my time and see what the reaction is from her. It'll be a lot harder to end the relationship when she's moved in, so you need to be more convinced bye the sounds of it.

bostonian

if she's cool, she'll sign such a paper. if not, better to be rid of her now, she'll only be more problematic later on when the stakes are higher.

I thought the law was that if your partner was living in your house for three years then they have a right to a share.
The best way to protect yourself in that situation is to give them a rent book.

Mullah

There is no such law. Its not as cut and dried as that.

If she moves in and starts making payments for food, services, etc - even if not explicitly designed to repay the mortgage - a Judge could indeed find that she'd built up an interest in the property.

All depends on her contribution to the running of the household.

Can't see a relationship surviving a rent book scenario, TBH.

Beruthiel

A friend of mine owned and paid for his own mortgage. His g/f moved in and lived with him for a few years. She never paid rent, just helped out with the esb bills etc. When they split up she took him to court and got a good chunk. He had to re-mortgage in order to pay her off!

If you want to have her move in and feel this could happen down the line, go to a solicitor and get papers drawn up stating exactly the relationship and the fact you are full owner of the house.

all i got back is that i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum

Sorry, but if my partner said that to me there would be some words said. If you are going to live in this country and pay your way, you need a full time job.
I personally wouldn't move in with her until she can pay her way. 50/50
This isn't the 1950's and there are plenty of jobs out there.
Why should you be the one to bear the brunt of all the bills.

craichoe

Tell her you don't want to cripple your lifestyle supporting her and yourself.
You have a mortgage to pay ffs.

If she say's
"You can easily afford it, your just being materialistic"

You can reply with
"Well .. the extra money i have, i have to put that into savings in the event i lose my job or something, i have to cover the mortgage someway, its called being responsible, you might see it as being materialistic, i see it as not wanting to live beyond my means"

This guilt trip rubbish really pisses me off, trying to make you feel like your being unreasonable when your not !

My G/F mentioned that she might go back to college and do a course or something, i took it the wrong way but my immediate response was

"Well I ain't bloody paying for it"

muppetkiller

Just put it as simple as this ....."I'd love for you to move in...but the rent is xxEuro and you're not working at the moment so you'd not be able to cover your share..But when your working we can think about it again."

If she gets stroppy laugh and say "you hardly think i'm paying your rent do ya" and see how she reacts..if she reacts anyway other then saying "No of course I'll pay rent and bills" ditch her..

LegacyUser

Don't let her move in. Way way too soon. Things change pretty quickly once they move in and if she's not working you will have to support her, feed her, buy her clothes and then if you want her out it'll be much harder to do it if she starts doing a guilt trip.

When your positively 100% sure you want her in then ask her. If she loves you she'll wait. Be careful, its alot harder to turn around and say no after
you've said yes.

How Strange

OP, aside from the fact that the house is yours and her paying rent etc, you don't seem ready to ask her to move in. You have lots of doubts and the fact that she is out of work and making no effort to look for a job seems to bother you. Believe me when you are living together 24/7 that will bother you a hell of a lot more.

Now combine that with the fact that a) she will be sitting around the house all day running up bills (it will be winter soon so the lights and heating will be on all day) and watching tv
b) she won't be able to afford to pay rent and to pay half the bills, you will start to resent her even more.

IMO, take the issue of her moving in with you off the table until her personal circumstances have improved. It is not realistic at the moment and you will end up paying for everything. Trying to cope with a mortgage and kitting out a new house is financially draining on its own.

Also, you are only going out 8 months and, for me anyway, I wouldn't feel ready to move in with someone after that length of time. There is still so much you don't know about them, you are still in the honeymoon period where you see each other a few days a week but still have your own life going on aswell.

Lack of motiviation with regards to looking for work is a very unattractive quality in a person and coupled with the fact that she may be assuming that she is moving in with you would be setting off alarm bells for me.

If I were you I would put ad on daft looking for a housemate and rent a room out to help with the bills etc and if she asks again (a bit cheeky if she does, imo) explain that it would not be practical considering her personal circumstances and it is really important to you that you have a regular income via rent every month to help with the mortgage so renting a room out is the best solution.

Also, don't give her a key if you don't want her lounging around your place after you've gone to work :eek: Then she has as good as moved in without the hassle of paying rent.

sjaakie

without looking at the finance aspect of it: Do you two love each other?... the main important thing of starting a life together is LOVE.

you say: its a nice girl..

i dont think "nice" is enough to start living together.

seamus

Relationships are two-way. There's no reason why one partner should have to do all the work while the other partner does nothing. In the absence of any children, a fit and able partner who doesn't work and gets the other to pay for everything is a sponge.

Nobody wants a sponge. You lay it on the line - she either pays her way when she moves in, or she doesn't move in. I'm guessing that you're probably finding yourself paying for a lot of things already. Stop it. It's OK to pay for stuff every once in a while, but when your contributions are excessive, there's something wrong. If you're not paying for things, she may show her true colours then. If the word "cheap" is mentioned once, you ditch her.

Little story similar to yours about a guy I know;

He was going out with his girlfriend about two years, and they moved into a house in Dublin with a few other mates of theirs. Neither of them were working great jobs, but they paid the bills. She's big into her gothic stuff, so she spent a lot of money on clothes and makeup and various other stuff (spending five hours on a Saturday night just getting ready to go out). She'd often find herself unable to cover her part of the rent and bills at the end of the month. Everyone in the house were mates, so her boyfriend would cover most of her chunk, and some of the others would cover a little bit.

Then she quit her job, didn't like it. Didn't get another one, "Couldn't be bothered" were her words. Instead she spent most of her time in town shopping with her mates. She'd spend her dole, and then whine at him to get money out of him for the rest. He'd cover her rent and bills too. So he was pretty much consistently broke. But he was besotted. This went on for about a year and half, with her getting more and more comfortable about just taking his money, living rent-free and doing as she pleased. Then he had to drag her out of the house onto her ass. And she tried to make him out as the bad guy and turn his mates against him. He was just lucky that most of his mates had seen her for what she was months beforehand.

Just a caveat...

axer

IRISH RAIL wrote:

before she does have a soliciter draw up a contract that says if you split she gets nothing

Prenups are not recognised under Irish law.

OP: I think you will actually have to go see a solicitor on this one as this is not one you want to take a chance with - it could cost you too much.

LegacyUser

Hi,
Am in a similar situation, so asked my sister, who is a solicitor, what would happen if my partner moved into my apartment. AFter three years, unless it's clear that the partner is renting a room (i.e. a tenant, and that's the arrangement you both agree to), they can make a claim on the 'home' because that's what it is to them after three years. Not sure how it would be divided by a judge, but they do have a certain amount of rights.

Are you going to rent out rooms in your home? If you are, make the rent an appropriate amount for the area/ size etc, which your girlfriend might not be able to pay if she's not working. I'm not being mean, just saying that if she can't pay the rent, well then she can't really afford to live with you, can she? Also how would she pay the bills?

You don't even sound like you're that sure about moving in anyway - if you're going to go the distance, what's the rush moving in now? You can always make it clear that she's welcome in your home etc. Though if you are giving her a key or anything, you'd want to make sure your tenants don't get annoyed having an extra person there all the time who doesn't contribute to bills etc.

I assume your girlfriend is looking for a job, and doesn't expect you to bankroll her, so if she is, you can suggest that in the long run, she might move in when you both get your finances sorted. Mind you - DO NOT commit yourself to anything that you're going to be reminded of over and over and over until you give in. I say this as a woman who's ex told her that we would move in, but him having a Peter Pan complex, he never actually wanted to grow up and take a chance, so all I'm saying is don't agree to do something in the future that you're not really sure you can follow through on. You'll just disappoint both parties...

Good luck either way!

seamus

axer wrote:

Prenups are not recognised under Irish law.

Pre-nuptial agreements only apply to marriages. In this case, if a rent agreement is drawn up then it's clear that in the event that she's asked to move out, she has no claim to the house. Of course, the rent agreement must be legally sound or it could be challenged by a wily solicitor.

As has been explained above, the main thing here is that if she moves in with no formal agreement, then it's assumed that she's living there as the owner's partner and not as a tenant. If she contributes to the running of the house (in time or money), then it's assumed that she has an interest in it and may be able to make a claim on it in the event that you split after a certain period of time.

Many people claim, "Give it three years, she becomes common-law spouse and owns half your house". This is more myth than fact. Her actual entitlement would depend on the amount and length of her contributions.

It has been successfully argued in the past that a woman who stayed at home to mind the children while the man paid for everything, was entitled to a share in the house sale because raising the family was considered to be contributing to the running of the household. And damn right too.

moco

Don't let her move in, no way. How she could even expect you to consider it when she's not earning is beyond me.

conky_05

it's as simple as this :

if she tells you she wants to move in, tell her to get a job and pay as a tenant (esp at 8 months)

Mazeire

Oh now this is interesting. Yeah i wouldn't do it. I've gotten burned at the girlfriend end of things. I was with my ex for 7 years. For the first 3 years of the relationship i had my own place while he lived with his parents. Then in year four we were renting a place in Ranelagh together 50/50. During that year after careful consideration i decided to back to college full time as a mature student. We were being fleeced for the place in ranelagh and he decided that he wanted to buy. He could easily get a mortgage as he works in IT and is very well paid and his dad is well connected. The plan was that i would do my degree and then come in on the mortgage after that. In the mean time i worked nights and helped out as much as possible with food expenses and bills. In fact the ESB bill was in my name as was the TV license. So 3 months ago he dumps me. He offered me the spare room in the house but seeing as his main motive behind dumping me was to find someone else and i couldn't hack living with watching him go on the pull at the weekend, i moved out. So yeah ive had to drop out of my college course as the night job won't pay for massive Dublin rents. Hurray. I dont think i'm entitled to anything as everything was in cash, there are no cheque stubs standing orders ETC. to prove anything. Also, his mum is a solicitor, his family are wealthy so they'd take me to the cleaners. I'm pretty much on my own:(
Ah well. Dont do it. Seriously.

Dave147

Mazeire wrote:

Oh now this is interesting. Yeah i wouldn't do it. I've gotten burned at the girlfriend end of things. I was with my ex for 7 years. For the first 3 years of the relationship i had my own place while he lived with his parents. Then in year four we were renting a place in Ranelagh together 50/50. During that year after careful consideration i decided to back to college full time as a mature student. We were being fleeced for the place in ranelagh and he decided that he wanted to buy. He could easily get a mortgage as he works in IT and is very well paid and his dad is well connected. The plan was that i would do my degree and then come in on the mortgage after that. In the mean time i worked nights and helped out as much as possible with food expenses and bills. In fact the ESB bill was in my name as was the TV license. So 3 months ago he dumps me. He offered me the spare room in the house but seeing as his main motive behind dumping me was to find someone else and i couldn't hack living with watching him go on the pull at the weekend, i moved out. So yeah ive had to drop out of my college course as the night job won't pay for massive Dublin rents. Hurray. I dont think i'm entitled to anything as everything was in cash, there are no cheque stubs standing orders ETC. to prove anything. Also, his mum is a solicitor, his family are wealthy so they'd take me to the cleaners. I'm pretty much on my own:(
Ah well. Dont do it. Seriously.

If this doesn't make you absolutely sure that you can't have her move in with you then there is no hope for you.

Mazeire

Dave147 wrote:

If this doesn't make you absolutely sure that you can't have her move in with you then there is no hope for you.

If i had my time back there is no way i'd do it. If you take out the material legal end of it it just messes things up anyway as the balance of power is always in one persons favour. I always felt like i was sort of at his mercy.

echosound

Leave aside for the moment the whole issues of rent/employment etc - you sound unsure if you want her to move in with you at any rate. Do you actually want to move in with her or is it just a case that she's been hinting and you feel like you *should* be moving in together?

If you do love her and she loves you (you called her a "nice girl" rather than "the girl I love") and you are excited about the thoughts of moving in with her rather than dreading it and being unsure, then you can look at the full issues a little more clearly. If you are unsure about it- even taking out of the equation the whole "no job" issues - then you definitely should not be moving in with her.

if however you are sure you want to live with her, I'd explain to her as other posters said that to cover the mortgage you need contributions in the form of rent, and draw up an agreement in the vein of landlord/tenant, to ensure down the line she doesn't have a claim on your house which you worked for while she sat round doing nothing and contributing nothing.

TBH alarm bells went off the second you mentioned she said "I'm only interested in men who earn x amount a year" - sounds like she wants to find a guy with money and it doesn't really matter if there's love or not, she prefers the lifestyle that comes with it.

Even if she's not working, she's presumably drawing some form of benefit (jobseekers?) so she has some money, and could give you money each week towards her rent, and will have to pay her share of the bills/food/etc. She'll soon get sick of having a tenner a week left for herself (is she living at home rent free or something that she's not worried about finding a job?) and it might be just the push she needs to get a job again.

Of course, a lot of people find it works for them to have one partner earn enough to keep a household going, while one does the actual running of the house, and that's grand if they can manage and are happy with the arrangement, many of our parents generation would have had that as the norm, but in this day and age most couples will find that both have to work no matter what to keep the bills paid and mortgage up to date.

That kind of situation arises normally after a few years together, possibly with the arrival of kids etc. and as you're only going out 8 months, and you sound like you would not be comfortable with that arrangement, why even contemplate it?
You'll only end up resenting her and possibly ending it with her, whereas if you move in to your new house, she stays where she is, you stay going out, and see what the situation is in another 6 months, you may find circumstances have changed (she has an income, you realise she is defo the one for you and you are happy to support her, whatever), and you can ask her to move in and be happy with your decision.

jubi lee

how is she paying for herself at the mo???

i'#d be telling her to get off her arse and get a job...

K-9

seamus wrote:

Many people claim, "Give it three years, she becomes common-law spouse and owns half your house". This is more myth than fact. Her actual entitlement would depend on the amount and length of her contributions.

It has been successfully argued in the past that a woman who stayed at home to mind the children while the man paid for everything, was entitled to a share in the house sale because raising the family was considered to be contributing to the running of the household. And damn right too.

There was chat of changing the law for unmarried couples. I think 2 or 3 years was mentioned and the other partner would have rights over the property

I think a specific example was of a stay at home Mum with kids. After 2 or 3 years, she would have some rights to equity in the house.

Carrigart Exile

patrick2007 wrote:

ok so i'm with a girl for 8 months and we get on grand,I'm buying my house on my own. i get the feeling she wants to move in, just hints so far but i am expecting her to ask me pretty soon. she is not employed at the moment and i'm afraid that if she moves in she wont be bothered to get a job as i'm paying the mortgage, plus if say this were to happen and in a few years we split up would it be possible she could try get some of the equity of my house? i know this sounds very calculating but i feel like i need to protect myself judging by some of the other threads i've read on some other sites, any comments/advice would be appreciated.

yep, that's the laws that are being proposed.

Carrigart Exile

patrick2007 wrote:

slightly suspicious i suppose, like i said earlier i just wana protect myself as i've worked extremely hard on my career to allow myself be in a position to buy my own home, i have brought it up that i wanted her to get a fulltime job, however all i got back is that i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum. in my opinion i think i'm right to want this as the way prices are today it does take 2 people to be in fulltime employment to have a comfortable lifestyle, or am I being too materialistic?

tell Princess to find herself another mug

Marksie

Y'know this happened to me a few years ago. I was paying the mortgage and she wasn't. She had been badgering to be put on the mortagage for a while. Anyways we were heading for a breakup for one reason or another and she let slip that her friends had all been advising her to "take me for every penny".
It was only a few months she was there but i made sure she found another place, moved comfortably, changed the locks, blocked her phone within 2 weeks. It wasnt funny at the time, but looking back I have to see the funny side of it.

I am afraid when read the comment : " i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum"
It set alarm bells ringing

K-9

Marksie wrote:

Y'know this happened to me a few years ago. I was paying the mortgage and she wasn't. She had been badgering to be put on the mortagage for a while. Anyways we were heading for a breakup for one reason or another and she let slip that her friends had all been advising her to "take me for every penny".

Jaysus, unfortunately it seems to be a bigger consideration for men these days, the "would she fancy me as much if I didn't have a house etc." one. Of course, can apply the other way round too.

I'd wonder why anybody would suggest it. My way of looking at it would be, grand, tell you what, I'll sell up and we'll move to a new place. Everything will be 50/50, including deposit, mortgage, bills etc. You know, womans rights and all that!:rolleyes:

Marksie wrote:

I am afraid when read the comment : " i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum"
It set alarm bells ringing

You know it was her who said it? Sounds like classic reverse psychology! :rolleyes:

I don't believe in tests, but I think the OP does have to test this girl to see that she isn't interested in "x" amount of pounds.

K-9

8.06 For the purposes of the redress model, the Commission
recommends a ‘qualified cohabitant’ is a cohabitant who has been living
with his or her partner for a minimum of 3 years.
8.07 The Commission recommends cohabitants, of whom there is a
child of the relationship, be eligible under the redress model where they have

been living together for 2 years.

From Law Reform Commssion proposals for co-habitating couples.

http://www.lawreform.ie/Cohabitants%20Report%20Dec%201st%202006.pdf

It's a substantial document that would recognise some rights to property and spousal maintenace in certain circumstances.

Seems like the "let's move in together" line isn't as simple as it used to be!

dame

Seanies32 wrote:

My way of looking at it would be, grand, tell you what, I'll sell up and we'll move to a new place. Everything will be 50/50, including deposit, mortgage, bills etc. You know, womans rights and all that!:rolleyes:

No, the stamp duty would cost him a lot of money then (not that it hasn't cost him enough already :eek: ).

SarahSassy

patrick2007 wrote:

i get the feeling she wants to move in, just hints so far but i am expecting her to ask me pretty soon

Would you be asking her to live with you if you weren't buying a house??????

If not, why are you asking her now???? Why does she not have a job????? No matter how nice she is it seems she is looking for an easy ride and a soft touch so to speak.

sjaakie

SarahSassy wrote:

Would you be asking her to live with you if you weren't buying a house??????

If not, why are you asking her now???? Why does she not have a job????? No matter how nice she is it seems she is looking for an easy ride and a soft touch so to speak.

i agree with sarah

jesus_thats_gre

Be very careful!

Carrigart Exile

Seanies32 wrote:

8.06 For the purposes of the redress model, the Commission
recommends a ‘qualified cohabitant’ is a cohabitant who has been living
with his or her partner for a minimum of 3 years.
8.07 The Commission recommends cohabitants, of whom there is a
child of the relationship, be eligible under the redress model where they have

been living together for 2 years.

From Law Reform Commssion proposals for co-habitating couples.

http://www.lawreform.ie/Cohabitants%20Report%20Dec%201st%202006.pdf

It's a substantial document that would recognise some rights to property and spousal maintenace in certain circumstances.

Seems like the "let's move in together" line isn't as simple as it used to be!

It will soon be the case that when a man passes a woman in the street he has to buy her a house

Marksie

Seanies32 wrote:

You know it was her who said it? Sounds like classic reverse psychology! :rolleyes:

Yeah i will reproduce the quote, it could be taken in a couple of ways the i as in the girlfriend or the I as in the OP. Looking again it is mots probably the latter

patrick2007 wrote:

i have brought it up that i wanted her to get a fulltime job, however all i got back is that i'm only interested in someone who earns "x" amount per annum.

How Strange

Carrigart Exile Quote:It will soon be the case that when a man passes a woman in the street he has to buy her a house

Carrigart Exile, are you implying that all women are out to find a man with a house and swindle it off them?

The scenario with the OP is unusual and pretty much all the posters (male and female) are in agreement that she shouldn't move in under the present circumstances.

However, what happens in a normal relationship where a girl starts going out with a guy who has just bought a place? It is not realistic to say 'you sell your place and we will buy somewhere together' especially in the current property market where the house/apt could be sold at a loss.

In some circumstances, where a gf has moved into the bf's house/apt and has paid everything 50/50 for two or three years then I think the gf is entitled to something if they break up. Afterall, she is the one that has to leave her home and start over again, the bf has had help paying his mortgage for those years so he's sitting pretty. And of course it can work the other way around too, where the gf owns the property and the bf is paying everything 50/50.

Mazeire

Carrigart Exile wrote:

It will soon be the case that when a man passes a woman in the street he has to buy her a house

Actually sorry but if i had the choice of my present position and being able to have my relationship and home back i know what one i'd go for. Any money that i may or may not be entitled to will help me survive which is great but will in no way compensate for the loss of the above.