issues

Sparkle21

i seriously need postings on this thread.
i think im getting the reputation of a girl that sleeps around. now my bestfriends ask me how i can not fall in love with a guy and still have sex with him,well i can i dont need love to have fun. and it just gets in the way of a lot of things! most of my bestfriends are virgins so they wouldnt really know what sex feels like and the thrill that you get out of it and also that you dont have to wait for the right person to have your first time with.(i didnt)now i dont sleep around ,ive only had 2 flings in the past 6 months and one of them was with a friend of mine,and everything is fine between us,were still good friends,but there wouldnt be anymore chemistry or any notion towards us having a relationship(also cause hes 5 years my senior).it might sound very shocking,but i dont think it is.all im doing is having fun and i enjoy it. i just would like to hear your views and also if you are in the same position as me.

thanks!

Rob_l

how old are you? five years can be a gap depening on that


and two sexual partners are not bad for six months but it could eb setting a trend.


And finally if you enjoy sex think how muhc better it would be would a partner you love and trust

PeakOutput

dont know what age you are but im going to assume your 16-18 as you say most of your friends are virgins.

there is nothing wrong with having sex just for sex's sake as long as you are safe etc etc blah blah blah, im not going to patronise you explaining how to do that

the simple reality is though that if you start to do it more frequently you will probably get a reputation(good for guys bad for girls). if you dont really care what other people think then go for it if you dont want to be known as someone who sleeps around then dont sleep around I dont think you can have it both ways without being very very discrete and I assume your not going to be looking at internet dating sites anytime soon so chances are your going to be pulling in pubs/clubs and your friends will be around to see

jawlie

How awful to see that sex as a toboo is still alive and well and living in Ireland. Sex is a perfectly normal, healthy, adulty desire and activity. Enjoy it, play with it, and if your friends have a problem with you doing so perhaps it is time to get some new friends.

Seriously, what is it your friends dislike about one of them discovering sex and sexuality? Can it be they are jealous or something else?

Cupcake_Crisis

you not what....its your life...if you want to have sex with people then go have sex!!!! you shouldn't be branded a slut just because you want to have sex the way almost every man on the planet has sex!! no one has the right to judge to for it! and 2 flings in 6 months is nothing!! i know people that have had 2 flings in 1 night!!! you enjoy doin it and thats nothin to be ashamed of!

Sparkle21

jawlie wrote:

How awful to see that sex as a toboo is still alive and well and living in Ireland. Sex is a perfectly normal, healthy, adulty desire and activity. Enjoy it, play with it, and if your friends have a problem with you doing so perhaps it is time to get some new friends.

Seriously, what is it your friends dislike about one of them discovering sex and sexuality? Can it be they are jealous or something else?

well i dont know if my friends are jealous maybe they are... am not really sure

and im nearly 18, i also pull in clubs/pubs

PeakOutput

your friends will grow out of it and they will stop caring who you sleep with or at least stop looking at it in a negative way but it prob wont happen till they 21/22

also its off topic but a 22 yr old sleeping with a 17 yr old is out of order imo

Rob_l

Sparkle21 wrote:

well i dont know if my friends are jealous maybe they are... am not really sure

and im nearly 18, i also pull in clubs/pubs

at 17 years of age 5 years is a gap

Are you having sex to feed self esteem issues?

Sparkle21

god no im not having sex to help my self esteem,ive wanted to do it for ages and then the opportunity arose and since then i dont look back and i dont regret it

PeakOutput

Rob_l wrote:

Are you having sex to feed self esteem issues?

she already explained why shes having sex

the thrill that you get out of it

there may be a deep rooted psychological reason for what she is doing but more than likely there is not imo

Sparkle21

PeakOutput wrote:

there may be a deep rooted psychological reason for what she is doing but more than likely there is not imo

nope no deep rooted psychological reason at all:cool:

Rob_l

Sparkle21 wrote:

god no im not having sex to help my self esteem,ive wanted to do it for ages and then the opportunity arose and since then i dont look back and i dont regret it

Sex is enjoyable but like anything the thrill may be that it is something new and I personally believe the intimacy that sharing the act with someone you trust and have a bond with makes the experience more pleasureable than just randomers

Marksie

In the end its your life not theirs and they are projecting onto you.

If you enjoy s*x and are making conscious decisions to do it all well and good.

If you talk about it afterwards then my advice is to stop talking about it, keep it in your private life.

Sparkle21

i acknowledge your point Rob

strawberrybox

its nobodies business but your own, you should be out enjoying yourself and having new experiences once your safe and look after yourself, i was 19 when i met my current husband and sometimes feel like i missed out on them years when i should have been meeting new people and finding out about my sexuality and experimenting so dont feel bad for doing so. young women should get out there and find out what they like and dont like and be able to say to a man no i dont like that i like this instead and the only way to know what you like is to experience it, the days of women lying there thinking of there shopping list are gone!

K-9

Sounds like you're doing it;) for good reasons and it's not self esteem issues. 2 partners in 6 months isn't bad. Sounds like your friends are forcing their opinions on you.

One note, 22 and 17 is probably just about acceptable in a pub/club environment. Anything older than that may seem a bit odd!

MagicMarker

As long as you're being safe about then it's all cool.

Are you being safe?

howaya

as you mentioned, many of your pals are not yet sexually active. You stand out on this compared to many of them. Its always good to have people to whom you're particularly close to talk to about sex. But, as an earlier post suggested, you ought to develop a private life. Don't go 'having fun' with your circle of friends, or you risk being regarded as a slapper! They're friends, not playthings.
Stay safe and don't rush it

DD

Rob_l wrote:

Sex is enjoyable but like anything the thrill may be that it is something new and I personally believe the intimacy that sharing the act with someone you trust and have a bond with makes the experience more pleasureable than just randomers

I agree with Rob. You should find urself a nice guy and ...don't forget about protection