should i?

LegacyUser

I need advice, I grew up with this lad i.e. went to the same elementary/primary school together... We drifted apart because we went to different boarding schools. He moved to America 5 yrs ago, last year I was in America visiting and I went to visit him.
First; I didn't know he had a gf and I was in a relationship so no big deal... But boy was I wrong. His gf was instantly jealous of me. We hugged, we were talking about everything and included her in the discussion but she didn't seem keen.
We got to the house, he lives with his sibling. They had mates over it was like a mini house party, he was chatting away with me when she was taking a shower e.t.c. She exploded and walked out of the house, I didn't understand why.
Second; when she left he came back to chat with me and I just didn't think much of it. Fast forward 2 hrs, she walks back in and moves my bag from his room to his brothers room. No big deal! As I wasn't going to sleep on the same bed with him the next day I left and he was travelling that day as well, we were on the phone and then he told me he had always had a crush on me. She (his gf) knew and was very jealous and through a fit because she wasn't expecting me to look "hot"... He called me a lot when I came back home (phone bill $781) and then there were no calls... I sent him a shirt because I saw it and thought he would look nice in it.
Third; I also broke up with my long term bf when I came home. Me and O, my childhood buddy planned to see how things "would work out" and I was in the process of buying an expensive ticket just to see him for 4 days and then wham no communication... I rang and texted and there was no response
I rang him on his birthday and we spoke....
I am going to America in 5 weeks, I rang him the other day and he claims he sent me a mail (I never got any) and I didn't reply. And now he plans to either visit me or me go over to see him.
I guess the question I am asking now is do I see him or not? I would date him in an instance but my pride was hurt and I wonder if he’s having a laugh at my expense…

How Strange

This guy sounds very disingenuous. He told his gf that he had always had a crush on you, then you arrive over, he is hugging and chatting to you and she gets jealous. He runs up a huge phone bill talking to you when you go home. Then he starts the hot and cold carry on.

OP, are there no guys in Ireland that you like? This fella sounds like a waste of time IMO and it seems to me that you are doing all the chasing and he is sitting back and enjoying it.

I'd bet that you get over there and he dumps you and tells you he just wants you as a friend. It's your heart, break it if you want but from your post I can see this all ending in tears (yours btw).

justsomebloke

dear god women just go for it. If you haven't booked tickets then get him to visit here as, cause jsut in case it all goes pear shaped at least you aren't stuck in a strange country and he can use the time to go visit his family.

However then one thing I would say is that you mention that you broke up with your partner but don't mention if he broke up with his?

fridaysgirl

confused0900....He called me a lot when I came back home (phone bill $781) and then there were no calls... I sent him a shirt because I saw it and thought he would look nice in it.Third; I also broke up with my long term bf when I came home. Me and O, my childhood buddy planned to see how things "would work out" and I was in the process of buying an expensive ticket just to see him for 4 days and then wham no communication... I rang and texted and there was no response
I rang him on his birthday and we spoke....
I am going to America in 5 weeks,
I rang him the other day and he claims he sent me a mail (I never got any) and I didn't reply. And now he plans to either visit me or me go over to see him.

Confused, from your post I think he backed off, you chased and he hasn't the guts to tell you that he just isn't as interested as you. The parts in bold are where he disappears/does strange things, the italics are what you have done - namely initiate most of the contact

He ran up a huge phone bill and then no contact. Then you buy him clothes (why? Thats what you do for your brother or bf or dad on his birthday maybe) and break up with your bf (did the lack of phone contact by him happen around this time?) and talk about going over to see him. Heavy stuff! Then he disappears (classic, cowardly behaviour). You text and phone and he ignores you until he finally deigns to answer. Then he tells you he sent you an email that you never got (complete BS, this very very rarely ever happens). What did he say in the mail? That he was going to a desert island and would be incommunicado indefinitely?

IMO, you are chasing him and he's too chicken to be honest and upfront with you.

LegacyUser

Thanks alot guys
It seems i may be the one chasing him, the thing is we have always been mates... Best mates at some stage so it never occured to me that even with this we should be any different.
I would have broken up with my bf anyways and yes he broke up with his gf but months after i did. The shirt was a STUPID idea... I am an impulsive person
I was gonna text him today about tickets and dates but i changed my mind... It's pretty expensive to fly to Boston from Atlanta and as they say the earlier the cheaper! I would wait to hear from him, he knows i would be in America he should make contact with me...
Or what do you think