Parent troubles

LegacyUser

im a 19 year old girl who doesnt live at home during the week(im away in college) but when i come home at the weekends my parents treat me like im a 17year old or something!!! tonight for example i went out with my best friend who i havnt seen in 3weeks properly due to the fact we both go to different colleges in different counties...we went out had a few drinks and after i decided to go with him and my bf to his house to have a chat and stuffs!! at 4.30 i started trying to get a taxi but to no avail...i rang all the companies i had the numbers for but it just wasnt happening!!then the phonecalls started!

WHERE ARE YOU...etc...it went on and on and on untill i finally managed to get home a few minutes ago and got im disgusted with you will discuss this tomorrow!! this is the second night in the last month ive gotten this **** for coming home after 3!!! i mean seriously are all parents of girls my age like this or is it just me???????

Strokesfan

Well 6 in the morning is a little late to be rolling in the door and I used to get the same grief when I lived at home...

I'm sorry but I had to have a little chuckle when you said you're 19 and they treat you like a 17 year old cos there isn't a whole lot of difference in it

Perhaps you should start texting them before they ring you or if you were sober when you came in - tell them you're not going out, drinking way too much, blacking out and generally being a disaster and they should give you some credit for being quite responsible etc. If you are binge drinking and staggering in the door at six - they may be justified in their concern haha...

Their point of view is worry about protecting you from all kinds of unsavoury things or maybe they feel you should respect them more when you stay at home the weekends with a few courtesy texts letting them know what you're doing whether they're asleep or up worrying...

If I were you, I'd play the "I'm responsible, I don't do drugs, I don't get too drunk, I just miss my friends card" - I'll text you if I get delayed in future etc etc

marie_85

I'm 22 and I still get the 'Where are you' and 'What time will you be home' texts. The easiest way to deal with it is to text them yourself if you know you're going to be home later than planned. It will only take you a couple of seconds to do but it's reassuring to them. My parents don't make any attempts to stop me doing anything or going anywhere (there'd be ructions if they did) but they just like to know that I'm ok and I respect that.

bronte

I'm 23 and get the exact same thing! They're not half as protective of my 20 year old brother, so personally I think it's beacause I'm a girl and they'd be worried I'd get attacked or something.
I tend to text and let them know I'm okay to keep them happy.

Chinafoot

I'd say they miss you. You're away at college during the week and then you come home at the weekend and stay out til 6am with your mates. Maybe they don't want you treating their home like a hostel. They have a point if that's the case.

You're used to your freedom now that you're at college Monday to Friday but when you come home at the weekends you are back under their roof, as they say, and you should show it a bit of respect.

Like has been suggested, let them know if you're going to be later than you thought and maybe try and spend some time with them too when you come home.

Clare Bear

I'm 26 and I still get that when I go home! OP they wouldn't be good parents if they didn't worry about you!

jesus_thats_gre

Girls will always get it. I rarely every got any hassle but my younger sister (of 4 years) still gets it to this day. She doesn't even live at home anymore either lol. Presume it's to do with a boy being more able to defend themselves.

the_syco

Just tell them beforehand what your plans are. You're staying out late, you're going to to the nightclub. If you're going to a mate's, text them, and they'll be cool about it.

They'll worry about you from the moment you're born, untill they die.

gubby

yes yes yes yes.. to all of the above replies. As a parent of two grown up daughters still living at home full time. I dont want sound like a overbearing parent but dammit we do worry if your not home. every day in the papers we read of the terrible things that are happening on our streets. Its just a matter of respect to let us know where you are (even if your lying) and when your going to be home. just a text will stop us from imagining all sorts of things. to be honest in this day and age you should even tell your flatmates if you are going to be later or not home at all. As for your parents they worry cos they love and care about you... what is wrong with that?

MagicMarker

parenttroubles wrote:

im a 19 year old girl who doesnt live at home during the week(im away in college) but when i come home at the weekends my parents treat me like im a 17year old or something!!! tonight for example i went out with my best friend who i havnt seen in 3weeks properly due to the fact we both go to different colleges in different counties...we went out had a few drinks and after i decided to go with him and my bf to his house to have a chat and stuffs!! at 4.30 i started trying to get a taxi but to no avail...i rang all the companies i had the numbers for but it just wasnt happening!!then the phonecalls started!

WHERE ARE YOU...etc...it went on and on and on untill i finally managed to get home a few minutes ago and got im disgusted with you will discuss this tomorrow!! this is the second night in the last month ive gotten this **** for coming home after 3!!! i mean seriously are all parents of girls my age like this or is it just me???????

My heart bleeds for ya....

Parents worry, this is a fact. Now i don't get any of this off mine and never have. But if i'm not going to walk in the door until 6am then i'd probably have the common courtesy to send a simple text saying your at a friends house and all is aok. Ya see how easy that sounds?

irish_boy90

well i have the key so my parents leave the front light on and go to bed.
i can come home whenever i want.

i am 17 btw. guess my parents treat me like i am 19

Twinkle-star15

Your parents are normal, not over-protective! If you're staying at home, then you need to let them know where you are, they won't worry half as much. Just a quick text letting them know that you got to your friend's house/are in the taxi home/etc will make them a lot more relaxed. I don't have much experience with going out all night (I'm 16), but I do travel around the country a fair bit. A text to tell them I'm on the train, and one to let them know I got to my friend's house okay means I can do it as often as I want (Or as often as I can afford it ).

North&South

I'm 46, mum to 3 girls - 25yrs, 24yrs, & the youngest is 17yrs.
Yes, I worry if they say they won't be out late & then they are, but I learnt a long time ago not to jump down their throats - I was a teenager once & got married at 21 - had to live at home for the first 2 months after marriage - problem was, he lived at HIS home too, so it was a bit 'odd' to say the least & I still got nagged for being home late!

But I cut my girls a lot of slack & never get on their case when they don't come home - thing is, because I don't mind them staying out, they hardly ever miss a text or a call - they just let me know so I can put the lights out and lock the door.

Is there no way you can talk to your parents & try to explain that you're now growing up & are being responsible? I know it's easier said than done - I've heard & indeed still hear about my kids friends & how they are treated - no matter how old they are! It's a shame that most parents don't cast their minds back & remind themselves what life was like as a young person & how they felt when restricted :rolleyes:

Beruthiel

As the other mothers have said, yes, as a parent you will worry for their safety.
My daughter will always text or call to say she'll be late and that she's with her b/f or a friend. This way I know she's safe and if anything were to happen then the b/f or friend would let me know.
At 19 you should be able to do as you please, but it's manners to make sure you're parents don't worry and a simple text should mean that you don't have to put up with them giving you grief.
It's a two way thing, you want to have them treat you as an adult, it helps to act like one.

Spoony2

Beruthiel wrote:

It's a two way thing, you want to have them treat you as an adult, it helps to act like one.

yep i agree my old man says the sae thing and im 25 . My mum allways rings me when im out to see if im safe when im back home its just mums they nutraly are over protective over the of spring ...

If you show your age and send a simple text saying im safe with friends blah blah blah they wont worry but when they dont hear from you they do worry there your perents you should be glad they care...

but i do understand where your comeing OP it is anoying but then again its only nuatral....:)