things that only happen in the movies..

PlayGirl

and i want to add another one..

whenever a character has to rush out of a restaurant/pub it is nearly always right after they recieve their food/drink and are about to take the first bite/drink

Plug

I wouldn't recommend this as humour now. I've gotten better buzzes in churchs.

PlayGirl

yea i didnt know where else to put it

Plug

Put it in the motors forum or mustard!

Hagar

No harm done. Moved to After Hours from Humour.

Ghost Train

It's takes a few seconds to hack into some important computer system

JC 2K3

Despite the fact that mouses are primarily used to navigate modern computer systems as opposed to keyboards, in any tense scene with computers in it, there is a sound of constant typing in the background for no apparent reason.

Cunny-Funt

Closing your car door is something you only do half the time. All vents are possible to climb through and of someone shoots at you while your inside, they will always hit everything but be intrupted before they get to shooting the area you reside.

Tha Gopher

Computers never freeze/at the bollix
The two girls in an action film below the main lad never like each other. They both want to ride him but neither will admit. Women eh?:p
People always only atch a minute of a news report on something that concerns them, then they switch it off (e.g. some action film, the president and his team are watching CNN in the white house as y or z blows up in the mid east......then switches the tv off. Put it on mute certainly, but off? )
Pistols hold up to 200 bullets without reload, and a cop will never be shot while reloading
Movie police dont have to answer to human rights or police complaints groups re the odd death
In films with token black characters (small town US horrors mainly) the (seemingly) only black male and female in the town are either related or going with each other. I was in Bristol once and the only Irish girl we met all day was a snobby D4 bar worker who told my mate to take his feet off the stool
Jewish kids are portrayed as nerds
Kids like to solve crime, rather than steal sweets from the shop and throw bangers through letterboxes

dotsman

People never need to go to the toilet unless it is crucial to the plot...

Cunny-Funt

A quick punch to the face will always knock someone out cold for hours.

Also, knocking people out does not cause any damage to them bar a slight headache later on. Rather then brain damage.

FlutterinBantam

dotsman wrote:

People never need to go to the toilet unless it is crucial to the plot...

John Travolta in Pulp Fiction???

GhostInTheRuins

When people point guns, the guns always make a metal clicking sound.

Dennis the Stone

and punches sound very loud

Sam Vimes

FlutterinBantam wrote:

John Travolta in Pulp Fiction???

he went to the toilet twice in that film. The first time uma thurman took tie opportunity to od and the second he was shot dead when a pop tart popped. Important plot points i think

FlutterinBantam

Commander ...What can I say???

The first time for a piss and the second time for a dump was it??


Too much information;)

Goodshape

Commander Vimes wrote:

he went to the toilet twice in that film. The first time uma thurman took tie opportunity to od and the second he was shot dead when a pop tart popped. Important plot points i think

Also in the restaurant at the beginning / end (giving Jules the chance to look ****-cool and give his little speech... another important plot point).

The guy sure did poop a lot in that film.

FlutterinBantam

:eek:

How did i miss that.!!!

JC 2K3

Since when did Pulp Fiction have any important plot points?

Goodshape

Since 1994.


More movie cliché's :

Hacking into a computer system is the coolest. thing. evar.

Naikon

So true:

COMPUTERS

• Word processors never display a cursor.
• You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
• Movie character never make typing mistakes.
• All monitors display inch-high letters.
• High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
• Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain english.
• Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard
• Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see "Fortress")
• All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
• Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
• All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.
• People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
• A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
• Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function (see "Demolition Man" and countless others).
• Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
• When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
• If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (e.g Clear and Present Danger).
• If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automagically asked for a password when you try to access it.
• No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
• The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
• Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.
• Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.
• Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face (see "Alien", "2001").

Jesus Wept

PlayGirl wrote:

and i want to add another one..

whenever a character has to rush out of a restaurant/pub it is nearly always right after they recieve their food/drink and are about to take the first bite/drink

Where's the first one?

worben

When a character picks up a knife or improvised stabbing implement it always makes the sound "shing"

Jesus Wept

worben wrote:

When a character picks up a knife or improvised stabbing implement it always makes the sound "shing"

I've stabbed a load of people, it always makes that sound.

_blank_

Strip bars always double as investigation headquarers.

All police informants are frequenters of said establishments.

Hypnotoad

You don't have to say bye when you're done talking to someone over the phone.You both automatically know that the convesation is over and both hang up.

Nala

No one ever runs out of phone credit. Bottle blonde girls never get dark roots. Pets are always incredibly well trained and dogs never have mucky paws.

Also

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

Gauge

People hang up the phone without saying 'goodbye'.

Exit

Despite having just spread her legs and let a fella have his way with her, a woman will still cover her breasts with the bed sheets when he's in the room. Also goes for husbands.

Exit

Nala wrote:

No one ever runs out of phone credit. Bottle blonde girls never get dark roots. Pets are always incredibly well trained and dogs never have mucky paws.

Also

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

The first one made me laugh, the second one is so true. Not a black one, not a blue one, but always a red one.

AlmightyCushion

Nala wrote:

No one ever runs out of phone credit. Bottle blonde girls never get dark roots. Pets are always incredibly well trained and dogs never have mucky paws.

Also

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

So true.

bronte

Always wondered how that Jack Bauer never needed a tinkle

Andrewf20

Too lazy to read all the posts, but heres one I always seem to find, whenever theres a storm raging in a film, the lightening and thunder always strike at the same time. Yes it is possible, but in reality, theres usually a rudy delay in there too.

Why, in space, you can hear noise (apart from "2001, A space odyssey" where they mute it. Nice touch.)

Naikon, Im so with you on alot of those observations about the computers. Well said.
Exit, you post #29 gave me a laugh too. Ive seen this some many times.

limklad

Hack into a computer and Copying the computer hard drive over the internet in a few second using a dial-up connection. :rolleyes:

limklad

Hypnotoad wrote:

You don't have to say bye when you're done talking to someone over the phone.You both automatically know that the convesation is over and both hang up.

I never say goodbye when hanging upon the phone, unless I know I will never ever see or talk to them again. For me Goodbye is final.

PlayGirl

The-Rigger wrote:

Where's the first one?

ok there was a link there i swear?!
it was the same points as Nala linked but just in a list..
damn never mind

limklad

AlmightyCushion wrote:

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

So true.

That because it will never get hit because it is in the centre of the spaceship and it always have backup power to keep it going. How else can you get the spaceship working again. :rolleyes: Do I have to think of everything?:p

Senna

When you come home and there's an attacker in the house, you never turn the lights on. Also if you hear a noise in your house, you will never turn a light on.

You can race through the busiest city and run every red light, you might hit a car, but you will never knock down a pedestrian.

When you press the elevator button, its always there waiting at your floor.

If your phoning someone, you always know the number off-by-heart.

If a US space-craft (or plane) crashes its always 20 miles from some airforce base. If its in the middle of the sea, there's always a aircraft carrier 30 seconds away.

indough

Cars and houses will explode as if they were being used for nitroglycerine storage.

Good guys have perfect aim and bad guys can't shoot for the life of them.

All US numbers start with 555

Naikon

Naikon wrote:

• Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.

Plus they are ready for use within one nanosecond of being opened!

Call Me Jimmy

I can't be certain about this but... gay cowboys?

Ruu_Old

No matter how crappy and pixelated a surveillance video is, a few quick taps on the keyboard will bring you a pixel perfect print out of the suspect in question. O_o

AlmightyCushion

Ruu wrote:

No matter how crappy and pixelated a surveillance video is, a few quick taps on the keyboard will bring you a pixel perfect print out of the suspect in question. O_o

You can also zoom in as far as you like.

Jesus Wept

Exit wrote:

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

The first one made me laugh, the second one is so true. Not a black one, not a blue one, but always a red one.

Always found Jamie Lee Curtis to have a very manish face, big jugs tho.

Danbo!

date plans are always vague, and the guy always knows where the girl lives without her having to tell him

"wanna go out for dinner? ill pick you up tonight"

ruskin

No matter how crappy and pixelated a surveillance video is, a few quick taps on the keyboard will bring you a pixel perfect print out of the suspect in question. O_o

That reminds me of an episode of CSI New York (not a movie i know) where they identified a store robber by zooming in all the way on the ****ty store camera with their lap computer, and identifying the robber by his reflection in one of the staff's eyes. Stupidest thing ever.

Anyway, only in the movies:

2 minutes of hacking on a computer can erase all records that exist of your identity

People are too stupid to put the evidence together and reasonably guess the secret identities of superheros

If you are a middle aged male star, you will definatley get to ride a 20-something year old woman

A killer will always explain in elaborate detail the thinking behind his crimes as he holds the girlfriend of the cop trying to arrest him hostage.

People never back up their data: it is always on one single, gold coloured disk

The timers on bombs never count down properly. When the bomb is first set, the timer ticks very fast, it then slows down as the hero tries to disarm it. A 20 second countdown usually takes 5 minutes.

Duckjob

When a hero is giving chase or being chased on a bike or in a car, they always completely disregard right-of-way when zooming out from a side-street across a busy main street and never get incidentally creamed by a passing truck.

The access control section of any computer system must incorporate snazzy vector graphics or at the very least, have flashing 'ACCESS DENIED' or 'ACCESS GRANTED' message boxes.

Aoife9

Senna wrote:

When you come home and there's an attacker in the house, you never turn the lights on. Also if you hear a noise in your house, you will never turn a light on.

and if you are female you will of course go directly to the bathroom to shower stripping off on the way and the attacker will wait till you are in the shower to attack!

tampopo

Helicopters only make a noise when they come into view.

When star of film looks into the sun and holds hand to forehead to shield eyes from sunlight, they don't cast a shadow on their eyes (so you can still see their face)

A gang of bad guys always attack a good guy one by one, giving him a chance of killing them all.

tribulus

Aoife9 wrote:

and if you are female you will of course go directly to the bathroom to shower stripping off on the way and the attacker will wait till you are in the shower to attack!

And he'll know this in advance and make a peephole so he can masturbate...bad Vince Vaughan

admiralofthefleet

every time a bloke brings a girl home for the first time they wake up the following morning like they have known each other for years. plus there is never any farting/scratching of bollox