Friends Sister!

dceire

I'm in my third year of my college course at the moment and have a core group of really good friends. One of them a is girl X who I’ve become really close to as a friend and she has a long term boyfriend who I get on well with too so no problem there.

The thing is that her younger sister has started in the college this year and although I’d only met her once or twice I always quite fancied her. The thing is that before she started my friend girl X had warned me off of her sister in kind of a joking way but did it a few times.

The thing is I just happened to give her sister a lift home recently and have now discovered from a mutual friend that she fancies me as well. I do really like the girl but am worried as to what i should do now considering that I’m unsure how girl X will react?

Cheeky_gal

Go for it....Girl X has no right to dictate her sister's life...so get stuck in there dude!

curiousxxx1

She likes you? GO FOR IT!!!!!
tell her sister to kiss yore ***
The only thing to say is that you better not be messing with X's sister... don't start something you can't finish

SarahSassy

Go for it if you are genuinely interested in her... Her sis will get used to it once the pair of you seem to be getting on well and you are both treating each other well...

Good luck.

irish_boy90

go for it

Clare Bear

Go for it, life's too short! Why would your friend warn you off her? Jealousy?

Crumble Froo

how serious are you about the sister?

if you are indeed serious, then i suggest you say it to your friend first, not necessarily asking her permission, but just not going behind her back. tell her you are genuinely, sincerely interested in her sister, and remind her that as your friend, you dont want to hurt her, but that as her friend, she should respect your decision, not to mention her sister's.

if she's a friend you are close to, i dont think it's worth losing her over.

Cheeky_gal

Jeez thats a **** load of "go for its' "......!

Rb

Try to get her sis in on the action.

Dave!

Go fer it

If you're concerned, maybe have a chat with the friend and let her know that you really like the sister and aren't goin for the f*ck it and chuck it approach.

That'll fool her lol just messin

edit:

Forget what I said, do what rb_ie said.

cooperguy

If you genuinely like her go for it but have a conversation with your friend about it first and see if you can sort it out with her.

LegacyUser

'Life is way too short. If you're a decent person and will treat her right, who is her sister to say who she can or cannot see? Her younger sister is 18 or very close to it.'

Beruthiel

rb_ie wrote:

Try to get her sis in on the action.

rb
You know better than to make a comment like that in this forum.
B

MikeHoncho

I never got this whole attitude of "stay away from my sister". I would much prefer my sister to go out with one of my mates who I know is a good person and wont screw her around than some randomer who I know sweet **** all about.

Go for it dude. Even if your mate dont like it at first she will get used to it.

Anti

Go for it !

kev_s88

deffo go for it!!!


what have you got to lose???

biko

SarahSassy wrote:

Go for it if you are genuinely interested in her... Her sis will get used to it once the pair of you seem to be getting on well and you are both treating each other well...

Good luck.

+1

Theboinkmaster

Get a bit of half-half-hole going

Spud83

I think your friend actually wants you to ask out her sister. She should know that by even saying "stay away from my sister" is going to make you think about it, therefor she wanted you to think about it, therefore she wants you to ask her out. Now thats logic ya cant argue with.:)

LegacyUser

'I don't think it's advisable. It would likely cause a lot of tension between the two sisters and depending on their personalities it could cause a bitterness that would last long after the relationship was over.

One of my sisters slept with the ex of our other sister and it has caused a family rift that has never been healed. It was taken to be a really disrespectful thing to do and my sister was a lot more angry with our sister than she was with her ex. She felt a sense of disloyalty from our sister that cut much deeper than that of her ex. My sisters haven't spoken for six years and it leaves me in an awful position as I'm sure you can imagine.

It sparked a whole world of trouble that got so bad I cant even mention either of them while in the company of the other! Nothing has been the same since then and it's at it's worst at Christmas time when everyones supposed to be happy and those two are timing their appearances with military precision so as not to run into eachother

That sort of thing can cause a lot of damage in families, it did in ours, and on the strength of that I couldn't advise it. In fact, in dealing with the fall out, I've come to feel it was a damn selfish thing for the bloke involved to do.'

PeakOutput

go for it as long as your not planning on screwing the sister over

it would get me deep down if my mate scored my sister but after a few days id get used to the idea if he made her happy (make all the jokes you want )

dceire

I was out last night with my friend aka girl X and we had a good chat back in the house afterwards. Her sister came up in conversation, I may have directed the conversation in this way, and she asked me what I taught of her and without being obvious about it I said that I taught she was really cool etc don’t think she knows yet that I like her sister though.

Won’t see her sister until next week so think i may ask her out for a drink or something then!

Dave147

As long as the age gap isn't absolutely huge definitely go for it. If this girl is your friend then she must think you're a decent guy so you should be good enough for her sister, if she thinks you're not good enough for her sister then your friendship may not be as important as it seems.

LegacyUser

'

Dave147 wrote:

..if she thinks you're not good enough for her sister then your friendship may not be as important as it seems.

Well, I dont agree with you here Dave147. I think since the OP seems happy to cause animosity between his ex and her sister his friendship with his ex cant be very important to him. In fact I think anyone who's prepared to create tension between two sisters couldnt think much of either of them. There generally is some degree of sibling rivalry in any family and all he'd be doing here is seriously fanning the flames. His ex has already vocalised her disapproval several times and for that reason I think involving himself sexually with the younger sister would be sure to obliterate his friendship with his ex and also cause tension in her family.

I could maybe understand how he'd be prepared to roll the dice if he was madly in love, but all he's said up to now is that he fancies her. So bloody what? There are 2.5 million females on this island, I'm sure at least a few hundred thousand of them are fanciable and an involvement with any one of them wouldnt cause the possibility of a serious family rift.

It seems the OP is looking at it as though there are just three peoples feelings involved - his, his ex's, and her sisters, but it isnt as simple as that, nor anywhere near it. There are also the feelings of all these two sisters other family members to consider. Does anyone think they're going to enjoy the bad feelings that would most likely ensue? Or that it's unlikely to affect their lives? - I can tell you from personal experience that the family wont enjoy the experience and that it will affect their lives, maybe for a long time to come, and they'll end up regarding the OP as a selfish randy bollocks as a result. By the tone of the OP's posts you'd think these other people didnt exist - it seems pretty clear to me he hasnt spared a thought for them.'

dceire

seenitallbefore wrote:

'

Well, I dont agree with you here Dave147. I think since the OP seems happy to cause animosity between his ex and her sister his friendship with his ex cant be very important to him.

There is no 'ex' involved, i have never gone out with either of them i'm just really good friends with one of them and fancy her younger sister

Pyjamarama

If you think this is a girl you would want to go out with definately talk to your friend first just out of respect for your friendship. In a way it's totally none of her business but it is her sister and it will be a bit weird for her for a while. And keep in mind if you hurt her sister you may lose a friend, blood is thicker than water I'm afraid.

LegacyUser

dceire wrote:

There is no 'ex' involved, i have never gone out with either of them i'm just really good friends with one of them and fancy her younger sister

Oh! Well then I'm entirely mistaken dcerie, apologies for that. I took this - "One of them a is girl X who I’ve become really close to as a friend" to mean that your friend is an ex girlfriend you'd gone on to form a friendship with.

In the situation you're actually in, I dont think your friend has a right to make decisions for her little sister, and she has probably voiced her objections out of a sense of being overly protective of her. Why do you think she feels that way? It seems she's worried about the possibility of her little sister getting emotionally hurt, but I'd interested to know why. Is she genuinely just over-protective, or do you have a bit of a reputation as a ladies man? Maybe her little sister has a habit of forming romantic attachments very quickly and she sees the possibility of her sister getting messed up emotionally as very real, on the strength of her little sisters behaviours, and nothing to do with you? Dont forget, she knows her sister far better than you do and she might have genuine reasons for feeling the way she does. On the other hand she might just be being territorial, which is unacceptable, or maybe she has a bit of a secret eye for your herself? I'd just be curious to know what's fueling her attitude...

Whatever is driving her sense objection, if you and her sister both are interested in eachother then you shouldnt pay any heed to whatever the elder sisters opinion may be. As long as you dont have any intention of messing the younger sister around then there's no reason not to ask her out for that drink. I wouldnt advise the pair of you go sneaking around either, be open about it, and show you both feel you've nothing to hide. I'd let the elder sister know you're genuinely into eachother and there's no intention to act the bollocks on your part. If she's just worried for her sister that should be enough to calm her down.

Good luck with it. I'd be interested to know how you get on.

dceire

I'm dragging this post out of the gutter but here's a quick update. I finally started seeing the younger sister after we exchanged numbers one night and then got togeather a few times over the past two week with me staying over in her's on a few occassions. I've had all the big discussions with her older sister/ my good friend and everything was fine.

That was until last week completely out of the blue the younger sister said to me that she taught we should end things before they got to serious as we are in college togeather along with her sister and if things didnt work out it could get messy and now we still have the chance to remain friends.

This completely took me by surprise as things seemed to be going great and she was aware of the above before getting involved. My head is messed up at the moment as i really like her, for the first time in a very long time i had found someone who i actually wanted to be with and this happens. I need advice any advice!!!:rolleyes:

TantraKat

Did you ever think that the reason your friend was warning you off her sister was because she thought you might be the one to get hurt? Maybe she's seen her sister behave like that before and was afraid she'd do it to you and then she'd lose your friendship?

Talk to your friend, she'll know you both better than anyone and she might know why her sister wants to finish it. Ask her to be totally honest with you. If her sister wants to end it with you there isn't a lot you can do.

dceire

To be honest i never really taught of it like that but i'm pretty sure that its not the reason just based on discussions with the older sister before and after me being with her sister. I know i really should just forget about it as you said she's made her decision and its time to move on, i just feel a bit messed up at the moment!

ixus

From your piece above, I'd guess you were being let down easily....

If you're really interested still, be blunt, say it and say it's up to her from then on, you won't mention it again.

Also, I'm surprised this was never asked, but, do the sisters look alike?

dceire

ixus wrote: »

Also, I'm surprised this was never asked, but, do the sisters look alike?

They seem to think they do, there's only 2 years between them but i think there similar but not the same, the you'd know there related kinda way!

ixus

Well that could raise questions in each girls mind (and potentially others i.e. your friends boyfriend and all their friends) as to who you really fancy which can make things difficult.