problem with housemate

LegacyUser

Hi just interested in what you guys might think of this situation..

I share a house with 1 other guy who's basically there to help with the mortgage (i'm actually the landlord). the trouble is lately - actually for the past 6 - 9 months he has gotten fairly aggresive around the house and quite moody, complaining about any fault he can find while at the same time being fairly messy, to the point where I have to clean up after him (bathroom, kitchen everything) In the last while he is also slow to pay rent (1-2 weeks late)....

Paying rent/cleaning etc isn't a big deal because if you're renting you're not going to be as concerned about the place as the owner... but the moodiness is a problem long term (he is Really negative but it's very hard to know why because he's also really impersonal - I actually don't know much about him - even the job he does)

long term is it a good idea to have someone like this around? day to day it is becoming difficult

Carrigart Exile

mr anon wrote:

Hi just interested in what you guys might think of this situation..

I share a house with 1 other guy who's basically there to help with the mortgage (i'm actually the landlord). the trouble is lately - actually for the past 6 - 9 months he has gotten fairly aggresive around the house and quite moody, complaining about any fault he can find while at the same time being fairly messy, to the point where I have to clean up after him (bathroom, kitchen everything) In the last while he is also slow to pay rent (1-2 weeks late)....

Paying rent/cleaning etc isn't a big deal because if you're renting you're not going to be as concerned about the place as the owner... but the moodiness is a problem long term (he is Really negative but it's very hard to know why because he's also really impersonal - I actually don't know much about him - even the job he does)

long term is it a good idea to have someone like this around? day to day it is becoming difficult

without seeing the guy it sounds like he has money problems.

togster

Kick him out

conky_05

tell him exactly what you've posted here (i.e. rent/mess/mood)

let him know that you'll kick him out if it doesn't improve. it cannot be good for your health living with someone like that..... it's your house, and you should not have to feel uncomfortable

biko

Before you do anything drastic, how about taking him out to the pub?
Get well drunk and see if that will open him up.
There may be a perfectly good reason to his behaviour.
You can also explain that you will need rent on time in the future, cleaning etc

If that doesn't help, document his lateness with rent etc and then give him notice.

Knockoff Nige

I think your able to deal with the rent and 'messy' issues but the moodiness is something you'll have to live with. You cant kick him out because of his bad mood. If he was breaking up the place, sure.

I'd say you could say to him that you're not happy with the way he's treating the house and you need to have rent paid on time because of your mortgage payments.

Beruthiel

If I were in your position, I'd be giving him notice, life is too short to be living with someone like that.

the_god_swan

Beruthiel wrote:

If I were in your position, I'd be giving him notice, life is too short to be living with someone like that.

Fact...

muppetkiller

Beruthiel wrote:

If I were in your position, I'd be giving him notice, life is too short to be living with someone like that.

+1

Esel

I'd put a lock on my bedroom door before I'd do any of the above. :eek:

dutch boy

say it to him, after all it is your house, you are entitled to give him his notice( the approtiate length of time of course) when you want. but if this is only a recent thing then it may be very solvable.

if not then refer to the point about life being too short.

PopeBuckfastXVI

"You cant kick him out because of his bad mood."

Actually the OP has a lodger under the rent-a-room scheme in his PPR so he is perfectly entitled to kick him out for any reason or none.

OP,
Ask him if he is happy living in the house/with you... give him a chance to explain. He might be in a bad mood because he thinks you're the biggest eejit on the face of the planet or the house is a cold dump, in which case you can come to a mutual decision that he should look for another place to live.

Knockoff Nige

PopeBuckfastXVI wrote:

"You cant kick him out because of his bad mood."

Actually the OP has a lodger under the rent-a-room scheme in his PPR so he is perfectly entitled to kick him out for any reason or none.

OP,
Ask him if he is happy living in the house/with you... give him a chance to explain. He might be in a bad mood because he thinks you're the biggest eejit on the face of the planet or the house is a cold dump, in which case you can come to a mutual decision that he should look for another place to live.

Actually, I didnt mean he couldnt legally kick him out. I meant it doesnt seem right to kick him out for that. It could be a temporary thing. Landlords cant expect tennants to be in a constant happy mood. Tennants have a right to be peed off from time to time.

BaZmO*

Just kick him. I wouldn't bother with the whole improvised therapy sessions by trying to talk to him or by going to the pub. Just tell him that you're brother/sister/friend/uncle/aunt/nephew or whatever is after getting into some difficulty and he needs somewhere to stay and that you've offered his room to them. Unless you have a signed lease with him you're perfectly entitled to give him a months notice and then give him the both.

I've lived in shared accommodation for years and friend's have also rented out rooms to people and whenever they got someone new in and it wasn't working out they just made up an excuse and gave them their notice.

Life's too short, well actually it's not, it's the longest thing you'll ever do but there's no point in making it unbearable by living with people that act like children, well unless they're children but sure that's all ahead of ya!

Kick him out!!!!

Knockoff Nige

BaZmO* wrote:

Just kick him. I wouldn't bother with the whole improvised therapy sessions by trying to talk to him or by going to the pub. Just tell him that you're brother/sister/friend/uncle/aunt/nephew or whatever is after getting into some difficulty and he needs somewhere to stay and that you've offered his room to them. Unless you have a signed lease with him you're perfectly entitled to give him a months notice and then give him the both.

Yes, do this, if you're an asshole. Seriously, someitmes people dont get a chance. Sure, its the OP's house but a bit of understanding is required too. The tennant could have got some really bad news. If thats the case then kicking him out is like kicking him while he's down.

BaZmO*

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Yes, do this, if you're an asshole. Seriously, someitmes people dont get a chance. Sure, its the OP's house but a bit of understanding is required too. The tennant could have got some really bad news. If thats the case then kicking him out is like kicking him while he's down.

Bullsh1t! It's been going on for the best part of the last year. He's not his bleedin therapist, he doesn't even know what the guy works at ffs!

Out of interest, have you ever lived with a nightmare tenant? It's not fun.

muppetkiller

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Yes, do this, if you're an asshole. Seriously, someitmes people dont get a chance. Sure, its the OP's house but a bit of understanding is required too. The tennant could have got some really bad news. If thats the case then kicking him out is like kicking him while he's down.

he's been acting like this for 6-9 months ! Read the OP's post.
Kick him out me thinks ..although you shouldn't have let him off for so long.

Knockoff Nige

BaZmO* wrote:

Bullsh1t! It's been going on for the best part of the last year. He's not his bleedin therapist, he doesn't even know what the guy works at ffs!

Out of interest, have you ever lived with a nightmare tenant? It's not fun.

Yes I have. But I also know that its often magnified by ourselves because it plays on our minds alot.

The OP can kick him out but perahps the tennant is peed off because of some faults around the house (that the op has actually mentioned in his post). Moving house is no fun and might be very very inconvenient for him if its a money issue or even the commute.

Perhaps things can be sorted out. But without actually talking to him, the landlord could him themselves in the same situation with his next tennant.

blue banana

The OP has put up with this for 6-9 months, I think the lodger has had his chance.

Just tell him you got a pay rise and you no longer need to rent out the room.

BaZmO*

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Yes I have. But I also know that its often magnified by ourselves because it plays on our minds alot.

And you've left them there?

Knockoff Nige wrote:

but perahps the tennant is peed off because of some faults around the house (that the op has actually mentioned in his post).

So why doesn't the tenant move out if he's not happy there or at least tell the landlord what's wrong with him?

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Moving house is no fun and might be very very inconvenient for him if its a money issue or even the commute.

Boo-hoo!!

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Perhaps things can be sorted out. But without actually talking to him, the landlord could him themselves in the same situation with his next tennant.

You're making this sound like it's a marriage that needs to be worked out, it's not. There's a really simple solution. Both are not happy and it looks like the tenant is not going to move out so it's up to the landlord to give him his marching orders.

LegacyUser

'OMG - I can't believe this has been going on for the past 9 months and you haven't said anything to him about his behaviour..... Why are people willing to put up with being treated like ****e........?? He's not worried about what he's putting you through so why should you be concerned about him.? He's an adult and has to learn that he has to act in a responsible manner..

How dare he not pay his rent on time - I've been renting for years and would never ever think of not paying my rent at the start of each month... It's of no relevance that you own the house - he lives there so should pull his weight. It's not a hotel....!!

You need to talk to him and tell him that you are not willing to tolerate his general messiness around the house nor his late payment of rent.... then give him a month's notice....... This guy isn't going to change and his mood has to be affecting you.......

Definitely get rid of him............'

John Mason

its YOUR house. you decide who lives with you. if he is making you uncomfortable in YOUR house, he has to go, give him his notice. just tell him you have decided you would like to live by yourself again. thats it end of discussion.

The Hill Billy

This guy has been neglecting his responsibilities to you as a housemate by his aggressive behaviour; as a landlord by way of late payment; & to your property by his messiness. He has been acting up in general for quite some time now.

This isn't a bad mood. A bad mood is what you get into when you can't watch Eastenders because someone else is watching Champions League. (And even then only if you're an exceptionally ar$ey fecker.)

You've put up with this for too long. I'd suggest giving him notice & getting him out.

Mazeire

I'd say get him out and get on to Threshold before you do it to make sure of the best and most legal way of doing it.

stovelid

mr anon wrote:

I share a house with 1 other guy who's basically there to help with the mortgage (i'm actually the landlord).

No offense but this sets off alarm bells immediately.

Whatever the valid problem is with him, if you feel like that, don't have a housemate.

As for the problem at hand: just give him notice. The late rent is grounds enough, surely? It doesn't sound good and life really is too short.

BaZmO*

stovelid wrote:

No offense but this sets off alarm bells immediately.

Whatever the valid problem is with him, if you feel like that, don't have a housemate.

Why? He is the landlord and the tenant "is" there to help pay the mortgage.

stovelid

BaZmO* wrote:

Why? He is the landlord and the tenant "is" there to help pay the mortgage.

It hardly sets things off on an even footing does it?

Not saying the OP hasn't got a valid problem but there seems to be an increasing amount of people who are forced to share their houses for financial reasons.

I did once and the my house subtext (mentioned in the thread already) from the landlord was always apparent to me.

BaZmO*

stovelid wrote:

It hardly sets things off on an even footing does it?

Not saying the OP hasn't got a valid problem but there seems to be an increasing amount of people who are forced to share their houses for financial reasons.

I did once and the my house subtext (mentioned in the thread already) from the landlord was always apparent to me.

But you obviously had a choice to share somewhere else.
I've shared a house with the landlord, for quite a few years, and actually became good friends. I was also never in any doubt as to who owned the house, but I never had a problem with that.

The_Conductor

Mazeire wrote:

I'd say get him out and get on to Threshold before you do it to make sure of the best and most legal way of doing it.

Under the Rent-a-room scheme his tenant is living with him "under licence" and has no rights whatsoever. The landlord (owner) who is living in the house can ask him to leave at any time whatsoever without giving a reason. No notice need be given- there are no legalities from the home owners perspective.

S.

Zulu

Just kick his as$ out.

LegacyUser

Hi the thing is he doesn't get a bad deal, the rent is about e40 less than similar rooms in the area and the number of bills he has to pay is the minimum (doesn't pay cable or internet).. I would be wary of being a pain in the arse about it being my house etc but I don't think that's a problem..
it isn't just the moods though, he can be very demanding about fairly daft things (like demanding certain channels be blocked out on sky that he doesn't like (ie. the soft pron channels) or complaining about the door being locked at night - that there's no need for it..:)

anyway! i think there are other issues there that are not apparent but I think eventually 'family' will begin to need the room!

the_syco

mr anon wrote:

complaining about the door being locked at night - that there's no need for it..:)

I'd kick him out for this. Lived in a house where you had to lock the dor on the inside, or it'd be open. The amount of times me and one of the housemates would be playing cards at 2am, and some drunk walks in asking about one of the others in the house... it's not good. This, and the mood swings points to bad mental health, imo, as I can't see why else he wouldn't want the front door locked at night.

Dave147

I don't like this guy already. Block the SOFT porn channels? He doesn't own the TV or pay any bills. If I was you I'd buy a hardcore porn DVD and watch it all the time when he's there! Might get rid of him!

VERDICT: Evict!

gamer

You have to give him 1 months notice to quit ,written down and his deposit back. First of all you are foolish to take him as a tenant,you dont know what he works at ,you have no references ,he could be having money problems. FROM now on, interview tenant, ask, where do you work,ask for references,note from employer ,this persons here,working full time here 5 days a week.ASK for id, payslip,p45, at least 1 letter from employer.Dont take on sum1 earning less than 500euro a week.Try and get someone who works in an office ,or civil servant,sum1 who has at least 2 years experience in present job.Ask 4 6weeks security deposity in advance be4 they move in.Sounds like you r afraid to confront this person,cos he,s an ignorant rude tenant.People over 30 tend to be more mature and tidy.Like alot of people who start renting to pay mortgage, when they get a crap rude tenaant ,they have no idea what to do. SET the end of tenancy for satrday,sunday, cos you will need to make sure he leaves,AND change the FRONT door lock.After hes gone.You should not have 2 clean up after some1 to this extent.People have been known to lie ,so always ask for 2forms of id, and letter from employer, and payslip, to show new tenant can afford to pay the rent.IF you interview some1 for 15mins,you get an idea of character, ie is this person a rude ignorant so anso.Dont give room to 1st person who shows up with a deposit.TALK 2 at least 5 prospective tenants.Hes renting a ,ROOM ,IF YOU want 2 watch channel xxx all day long ,its none of his business.Give him 4 weeks notice,so he has time to find another place 2live.IF you take on a tenant and know nuthin about him,well thats asking for trouble.If you only have skytv, remove the sky box that might encourage him to leave if he has no ntl.

The_Conductor

gamer wrote:

You have to give him 1 months notice to quit ,written down and his deposit back.

Incorrect information.
Under the rent-a-room scheme this person is staying with you, in your house, "under licence" and has none of the rights that a tenant would normally have. He/she can be asked to leave at any time, without any notice, at the discretion of the homeowner.

Regards,

SMcCarrick

mikemac

gamer wrote:

You have to give him 1 months notice to quit ,written down and his deposit back. First of all you are foolish to take him as a tenant,you dont know what he works at ,you have no references ,he could be having money problems. FROM now on, interview tenant, ask, where do you work,ask for references,note from employer ,this persons here,working full time here 5 days a week.ASK for id, payslip,p45, at least 1 letter from employer.Dont take on sum1 earning less than 500euro a week.Try and get someone who works in an office ,or civil servant,sum1 who has at least 2 years experience in present job.Ask 4 6weeks security deposity in advance be4 they move in.

Your post is a nightmare to read.
All the same, there is no way I would tell a landlord what I earn.
Show a payslip and a P45? Seriously gamer, maybe you don't have a problem with that but I'm sure many do.
And if even if you do all this then you might not even get the room if the landlord is interviewing others. So you've given private, confidental information for nothing.
By all means check if the tenant is in a secure full-time job but asking for documentation is OTT!

Why? He is the landlord and the tenant "is" there to help pay the mortgage.

Eve though it's true, it's a harsh thing to say. It may be the landlords house but it's the tenant's home.

Anyway, I haven't read the entire thread but leaving the front door open ought to be a hanging offense let alone an eviction offense. Boot him out if that's what is happening. In fact, I'm not sure would home insurance even cover your contents if the place is robbed and the front door left open

jos28

Life is too short to spend it with people that you don't like. You have no legal obligations to this man, so politely tell him that you would like him to move on. Then re-assess your finances and see if you can raise the extra funds needed elsewhere. I know someone in a similar position and they rented a room to a student. It has worked very well. A lot of students from outside Dublin go home every weekend and you also have your house to yourself for the summer. Not all students are party people. Many are just looking for somewhere safe and clean to live during the week.

the_syco

jos28 wrote:

I know someone in a similar position and they rented a room to a student. It has worked very well. A lot of students from outside Dublin go home every weekend and you also have your house to yourself for the summer. Not all students are party people. Many are just looking for somewhere safe and clean to live during the week.

I second this. Get 3rd or 4th year, or post-grads. Get one or two past landlord references from them, and you'lll be grand. Oh, and they'll probably be working at the weekends, so you can still walk around in your dressing gown on Saturday morning:D

gamer wrote:

note from employer ,this persons here,working full time here 5 days a week.ASK for id, payslip,p45, at least 1 letter from employer

I'll write the note myself, the payslip will be done in a internet cafe, and the P45... well, my employer has that, 'cos if I had it, there'd be a good chance I wouldn't be in a job, then, eh?

K-9

gamer wrote:

You have to give him 1 months notice to quit ,written down and his deposit back. First of all you are foolish to take him as a tenant,you dont know what he works at ,you have no references ,he could be having money problems. FROM now on, interview tenant, ask, where do you work,ask for references,note from employer ,this persons here,working full time here 5 days a week.ASK for id, payslip,p45, at least 1 letter from employer.Dont take on sum1 earning less than 500euro a week.Try and get someone who works in an office ,or civil servant,sum1 who has at least 2 years experience in present job.Ask 4 6weeks security deposity in advance be4 they move in.Sounds like you r afraid to confront this person,cos he,s an ignorant rude tenant.People over 30 tend to be more mature and tidy.Like alot of people who start renting to pay mortgage, when they get a crap rude tenaant ,they have no idea what to do. SET the end of tenancy for satrday,sunday, cos you will need to make sure he leaves,AND change the FRONT door lock.After hes gone.You should not have 2 clean up after some1 to this extent.People have been known to lie ,so always ask for 2forms of id, and letter from employer, and payslip, to show new tenant can afford to pay the rent.IF you interview some1 for 15mins,you get an idea of character, ie is this person a rude ignorant so anso.Dont give room to 1st person who shows up with a deposit.TALK 2 at least 5 prospective tenants.Hes renting a ,ROOM ,IF YOU want 2 watch channel xxx all day long ,its none of his business.Give him 4 weeks notice,so he has time to find another place 2live.IF you take on a tenant and know nuthin about him,well thats asking for trouble.If you only have skytv, remove the sky box that might encourage him to leave if he has no ntl.

Them new paragraph thingys are great!:rolleyes:
500 Euro a week?