Kids understanding of death

littlebug

Hi ,

This morning my daughter was telling her nearly 3 year old brother some complicated story about having to look after her toy pony because it's mommy was dead (inspired by bambi no doubt) and then went on to explain to him that when you're dead you're gone for a very long time etc etc. Her explanation was that simple as that is her understanding of it, there was no attempt to explain the process of actually dying. My son listened intently and then said, very seriously, "and will we die in the dark?". Wasn't that a strange thing for a little one that age to say? What do you think.... some innate fear of dying alone in the dark? A past life memory? Or something from the telly... (though rarely does anyone die on cbeebies!).

I just thought it was a bit odd and it made me feel sad

Dave!

Sounds like a fear of the dark to me.......

ladybirdirl

HI littlebug,

I was thinking was it a simple understanding of death - in that when you see people dying on TV, they just close there eyes. So maybe that's what he thinks it is, you close your eyes & die in the dark.

I think it's sort of sweet actually, to think you can just drift off.....

Ladybird

littlebug

hmmm.. maybe... I just thought it was a strange thing to say for a little one who has never expressed any fear of the dark nor has ever, to my knowledge, seen anyone die on tv. The contrast between my daughters view i.e "you're gone for a long long time but my other granny and mammy's doggy and fishy will be there.. hurray I can't wait!" and a sorrowful "will we die in the dark" just made me wonder where it came from I guess the simplest explanation is that another child somewhere has said something to him that has stuck in his mind!

stewiegriffin08

id just say that hes really smart and is just naturally intellegent:)

littlebug

stewiegriffin08 wrote:

id just say that hes really smart and is just naturally intellegent:)

Of course

Whispered

Hiya Littlebug,

I think no matter what people here say you will still be a bit upset or worried about what you heard. If your child seems bothered by something it will stay on your mind!!

The first thought that came to my mind would be it could be a deep seated memory of birth? It's said it's one of the most traumatic experiences we go through. And it happens in darkness. I believe we all carry a memory birth, but the older we get the deeper it goes and we eventually forget it.

If it is a past life memory then please dont worry, he would not be given something he can not cope with. If he can remember past life incidents there is a reason and if it was anything too traumatic his human nature would cover it and he wouldn't remember.

Of course the most logical explaination would be the sum of fears, most kids greatest fears are, people they love leaving, being on their own and the dark. If death is "going away for long time" perhaps he just made a connection of being alone in the dark because they are all unpleasant thoughts, especially to a 3 year old.

Sorry about my spelling and sorry for rambling!!

Whispered

Hiya Littlebug,

I think no matter what people here say you will still be a bit upset or worried about what you heard. If your child seems bothered by something it will stay on your mind!!

The first thought that came to my mind would be it could be a deep seated memory of birth? It's said it's one of the most traumatic experiences we go through. And it happens in darkness. I believe we all carry a memory birth, but the older we get the deeper it goes and we eventually forget it.

If it is a past life memory then please dont worry, he would not be given something he can not cope with. If he can remember past life incidents there is a reason and if it was anything too traumatic his human nature would cover it and he wouldn't remember.

Of course the most logical explaination would be that most kids greatest fears are, people they love leaving, being on their own and the dark. If death is "going away for long time" perhaps he just made a connection of being alone in the dark because they are all unpleasant thoughts, especially to a 3 year old.

Sorry about my spelling and sorry for rambling!!

Whispered

How did that happen?? Sorry only meant to post once, can one of them be removed?

kshiel

I think kids have a great way of dealing and understanding death, once it makes an once of sense to them they are happy with that explaination be it through an adult version or the tv version or a combination of both. With your little one asking about the dying in the dark I would be inclined to think its his own perception from things he has saw and heard and wouldn't worry about it unless he is geniunely scared and needs it to be explain in some other simple manner.

This has made me remember something my son did recently, he was crying in his bed now I mean sobbing his little heart out bless him so I went up and asked what was wrong and he told me holy god had come down and stabbed me in the head with a big stick and that the fantasic four had lost their powers, I think he was more upset about the fantasic four losing their powers, point been he only wanted to get out of bed and knew exactly how to play it on. cheeky little monkey but insn't that the beauty of children.