Workplace scenario

LegacyUser

I feel this may be more a rant than seeking advice but all opinions welcome.
I really like a guy at work who I don't work with directly so don't have a lot of contact with but he does sit close-ish to me. Not a whole lot of interaction between us but I would like to get to know him better, possibly take things from there.
Common sense says strike up a conversation and get chatting, but like I say not a whole lot of interaction at present. Any idea how I might get to know him or get to see more of him? I can't exactly march to his desk and drag him to lunch.
Pretty trivial problem but he seems like a super guy and I'd love to get to know him better. Any ideas folks?

muppetkiller

Sports and Social event ? Try and get involved and fudge the teams so you're both on the same one

Failing that you could always say hello while gettign coffee together and strike up a conversation about how crap our Rugby team did at the weekend.
Hell it might be the only good thing to come out of this world cup lol

mcR

Well I’ve an idea, don’t know if it suits you but....

You need a wingman /wing woman like a friend who will help move things along. As a group you and your friend/friends ask him to lunch or coffee or whatever, so at the start you can get to know him and start bonding, which will be easier when theirs more than just you and him and it won't be awkward and then eventually you can move in on him and ask him for lunch or a drink for just the two of you and by the time this happens you can have the confidence to ask him out or whatever

So you try include him into a group thing, so the only focus isn't just you and their will be no pressure and then when the times right you can be more confident and ask out because you know him better

I got this from watching grey's anatomy the other day; it seemed to make sense in my head so hopefully I explained it right!

Caliden

If there's a coffee machine or someplace where you make your own coffee then follow him the next time he goes to get some. Failing that you could cheekily ask to join him when he goes to lunch. Use some excuse like you dont like eating on your own because it boring or that he would be more exciting that staring at a wall while eating your lunch for the hour

Manic Moran

At the risk of sounding like a wet blanket...

Many moons ago, when I was on the tech support line for IBM home computing, I was engaged in conversation with a wise Tennesseean. For example, he taught me the difference between 'Y'all' and 'All y'all.' Wisdom indeed, plain to see.

Something else he mentioned to me on this call, however. "Never get your paycheck and your pussy in the same place"

Over the years I have heard similar sentiments from others, albeit not expressed in any way quite so eloquently. Whilst I would submit that it's more of a rough guideline than a hard-and-fast rule, I bring it up as a cautionary note for you to consider all the possible ramifications of an office romance. (Particularly if you break up and remain working in the same place).

You could always try just the direct approach and sitting at the same table as him at the canteen or local should he dine alone. I find people react well to a friendly face at mealtimes.

NTM

Knockoff Nige

Manic Moran wrote:

At the risk of sounding like a wet blanket...

Many moons ago, when I was on the tech support line for IBM home computing, I was engaged in conversation with a wise Tennesseean. For example, he taught me the difference between 'Y'all' and 'All y'all.' Wisdom indeed, plain to see.

Something else he mentioned to me on this call, however. "Never get your paycheck and your pussy in the same place"

Over the years I have heard similar sentiments from others, albeit not expressed in any way quite so eloquently. Whilst I would submit that it's more of a rough guideline than a hard-and-fast rule, I bring it up as a cautionary note for you to consider all the possible ramifications of an office romance. (Particularly if you break up and remain working in the same place).

You could always try just the direct approach and sitting at the same table as him at the canteen or local should he dine alone. I find people react well to a friendly face at mealtimes.

NTM

Aptiva, aaaarrrrggghhhh. Anywhoooo, I agree with the wingman/woman idea. In fact, it might be the only way to do it at work. The problem is finding a person willing to do it. Must be someone you trust and not someone who would end up chatting him up for herself.

Kaldorn

i think you should find out where he goes boozing after work of a friday and then show up there with some buddies,and make sure to sit close,watch him for bar movement and then go hey your in my area in work etc god you know yer one the annoying person etc..talk work related issues and then move onto personal interests,I also worked in IBM supporting aptiva..is boards full of us.i was there in 99

mcR

Yeah whoever you find to do it, make sure they don't want him for themselves or things with get ugly.

It's not always that easy start something like this on your own and could end up making things worse, like first impressions and all that

Manic Moran

Kaldorn wrote:

I also worked in IBM supporting aptiva..is boards full of us.i was there in 99

I can believe it. There was much throughput of personnel. I go back to Class 3, in 1996, departing January 2000. Is that place even still standing?

NTM

kittenkiller

Why not just ask a whole load of people out for a drink or two after work on Friday and be sure to ask his friends and mentionit to him at the coffee machine?

I think it's one of the best ways to get to know your colleagues better whether you're looking for some action or not.

Simplicity is the key, if you go around trying to orchestrate scenarios all week you'll do yourself in with stress.

dudara

Manic Moran This is the Personal Issues forum, not the IBM Former Employees forum. Please stick to the topic at hand.

dudara

LegacyUser

Some good points thanks people. Friends befriending him is a good idea, I could get a male friend to be my wingman which would equal less complications. Its not a big friday eve drinks place so not sure if that would work. I do agree that anything too contrived would look well contrived lol. It was so much easier in college, in work its hard to strike the balance between breezy and fun and stalkerishly crazy!