ANY easy way to break up with somebody??

LegacyUser

Bit of a general question....

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months, and it has been going fantastically... He's quite a bit older than me (I'm 22) and even though he is everything I want, I can't help but feel trapped. I feel like I need my freedom again...

I have never broken up with anybody before, and the thoughts of having 'that' conversation tears me up inside... I have no genuine reason for breaking up with him, just a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I want out Ted.

How on earth do I do this without hurting him? Is that even possible!?! I feel like a royal b!tch doing this anyway... Even typing it, my heart is pounding...

Markspi

The bet thing i can suggest is to sit down & tell him what is goingon now in your life.
The worse thing to do is to give a shallow reason, as he will be tormented by the unknowing were did he go wrong etc.
few people realise this in a realtionship better to tell the truth if you want out , finding ways to do it trust me will only hurt him more , and may end up hurting yourself .

milkerman

There is no easy way to break up with someone.

It's made a hell of a lot worse by letting things drag on. At least you are showing some compassion for the guys feelings and thats good to see.

Wibbs

Ask yourself why you want this to end as if it's so fantastic etc why end it? If it's just you're not ready for a full on relationship then that's fine. No point in stringing him along.

Break with him, by being honest. Be clear and tell him it's over. Tell him you don't feel ready at the moment. Do not tell him that may change in the future as it gives him false hope. Do not say it's not you it's me. Do not under any circumstances use the line "can we be friends". You can't have your cake and eat it and in any case why should he take second best? It's selfish and will make things harder on him and you.

Do tell him that you both need space and that means not contacting each other for at least a few months. Do say you liked him a lot and you're sorry it hasn't worked out. Do wish him the best with the future.

Good luck

Dave!

Just bite the bullet I'm afraid. It's a horrible thing to do. I've only done it once, and I felt bad about it for ages. Actually I did it twice, but the first time she started crying so then I did too and ended up staying with her, lol. The second time I just said it and was out of the house in under 5 minutes. I did feel bad about it for a long time, but ya get over it and so does the other person.

Good luck.

Carrigart Exile

wants2befree wrote:

Bit of a general question....

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months, and it has been going fantastically... He's quite a bit older than me (I'm 22) and even though he is everything I want, I can't help but feel trapped. I feel like I need my freedom again...

I have never broken up with anybody before, and the thoughts of having 'that' conversation tears me up inside... I have no genuine reason for breaking up with him, just a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I want out Ted.

How on earth do I do this without hurting him? Is that even possible!?! I feel like a royal b!tch doing this anyway... Even typing it, my heart is pounding...

If you are going to break with him make sure you do so and not linger like a bad smell infecting every relationship he has after you

Gaz

"Hey baby, welcome to dumpsville .... population you !"

You could try that , or just do the decent thing and sit down with the guy and explain your feelings , no easy way out im afraid.

chuckles30

As lots of others have said, be honest with him and don't drag it out. Also, if possible, try and tell him in his own place, that way he doesn't have to make his way home afterwards. Definitely don't do it in a public place. It's going to be hard, but if you're not happy, then you have to do it.

Wibbs

chuckles30 wrote:

Also, if possible, try and tell him in his own place, that way he doesn't have to make his way home afterwards.

I disagree. Do it somewhere neutral, but not his place. He has to live there.

digitally-yours

Try to introduce him to some hot chick who wants a short term relationship with him.

Once he is in that trap you have your EXIT plan.


*I wouldn't recommend breaking up just for the sake of breaking up.

clg23

If you're looking for an easy way out try texting...

LegacyUser

'Here's a crazy idea, show your boyfriend some respect and tell him the truth.'

jacko

just sit him down and tell him you've lost the spark in the relationship.
that way it doesn't directly put blame on either party but I'm assuming this is the way you feel so its a true reflection and its a valid reason.

cance

while i was in spain i was looking for a quick and easy escape plan,

if you dont plan on associating with him again, repeat after me.

Sorry hun, i am gay.

cya round.

davyjose

wants2befree wrote:

even though he is everything I want, I can't help but feel trapped. I feel like I need my freedom again...

I find this hard to believe TBH, either he's everything you want, or else you want something else! Think long and hard about this because you could just have a case of itchy feet, and may **** up things for yourself if you act on *impulse

*I'm not saying it is impulse, but you gotta make sure it isn't

Wibbs

davyjose wrote:

*I'm not saying it is impulse, but you gotta make sure it isn't

I agree with this one. Think it through before you jump or ease back on the relationship for a while. I know too many people, male and female who broke up with someone in their past and they regret it to this day.

azezil

Sit him down and talk about your concerns, I wouldn't mention breaking up but clearly theres an issue here you're not addressing, express your concerns and then come to a mutual decision on how to proceed, be it break up or working on it. The power is YOURSSS!

r3nu4l

Sometimes just talking to someone can really clear the air. Right now you have built up this feeling of 'being trapped' in this relationship that is, by your own admittance, quite a good one!

I once felt very trapped in my relationship. I had recently moved in with my girlfriend and I realised that it was a big thing to do and the relationship was indeed very serious. As a result I started acting irrationally for a while until eventually I sat down with my gf and explained how I felt.

It really cleared the air. She told me that she felt the same but that we should just relax and take things handy for a while instead of building huge pressure on one another.

That happened 6 years ago. We got married 3 months ago:) I'm very glad we talked about it. Maybe you just need tme to step back and relax for a while with no pressure or talk of 'our future'. Live life for now, have a good time with him and your friends and if you still feel the same in a few months then think about what you want to do. For now, just have a chat with him.

aye

clg23 wrote:

If you're looking for an easy way out try texting...

whatever you do, don't do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!