hard on myself

LegacyUser

I am generally quite a happy person and have no issues with my life as it is, however, things that haven't gone right in the past haunt me on a regular basis and get me down. Small things like embarrassing myself on a drunken night out or bigger things like relationships that went wrong or perhaps were a bad idea to begin with..... Should I just try to learn from mistakes and not let them get me down? Probably but for me that is easier said than done. I often do not feel like this for weeks at a time and then go through a period of being down on myself and embarrassed about my actions, some of which were a long time ago. Should I talk to someone professionally about it?

Knockoff Nige

I remember I used to feel like I made a fool of myself over something as small as a conversation. If I said something that i would classify as stupid, I'd be quite angry with myself and feel very embarassed. Absolutely daft way to be.

Basically, everything you do in your life has a purpose. Sometimes you'll do good things that will strengthen your beleif in your ability. Sometimes you'll do silly things that will tell you not to do them again. Life is one big learning curve.

Laugh at your mistakes, in fact, light a match under them. They are things you've done but not what defines you. Your future is whats important.

How Strange

OP, you have low self-esteem and that's why you dwell on things like being drunk on a night out.

There is an author (I think his name is Vincent Peale, however I'm not 100% sure so maybe go to a big bookshop and ask them) and he writes books on how to deal with these feelings.

In short they are crippling and they can destroy your self confidence if you don't learn how to deal with them. I identify with all of what you are saying and when these moments of self doubt and slight panic creep in I dismiss them immediately. And it really works.

Knockoff Nige...Laugh at your mistakes, in fact, light a match under them.

I agree with Knockoff Nige, you need to banish these thoughts as soon as they come into your head.

See if you can find a book by that author. The name mightn't be correct but he is quite famous so a big bookshop should know. What you are describing probably happens to everyone but the difference is that most people don't let it/have learned not to let it affect their lives.

LegacyUser

'If it makes you feel any better I do the exact same thing from time to time. It may be linked to depression. See a doctor asap.'

How Strange

unreg4587473967 'If it makes you feel any better I do the exact same thing from time to time. It may be linked to depression. See a doctor asap.'

IMO, it's not linked to depression. From what you say in your post you're not fixating or obsessing. It's a very common trait in most people and, as I said before, you need to learn the skills to cope with and combat it.