Blondes

Capt'n Midnight

A DEAD BMW
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"


How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch-n-sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.



Have you heard about the car full of dead blondes they found at the drive in movie?
They starved to death waiting to see "Closed for the Winter."



Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.



Three blondes and a brunette entered a fine restaurant. After being seated, a waiter came up to them. "What would you like to eat?" he asked the brunette.
"Oh, I believe I will have the steak, well-done, thank you," she replied.
The waiter then asked the brunette if she would like any side dishes.
"What do you have?" the brunette asked.
"Potatoes?" the waiter asked.
"No".
"Soup?"
"No," the brunette said again.
"How about the vegetables?" the waiter asked.
"We'll have the same" said the blondes.


Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

Oliverdog

Some good ones there Capt'n.

In fact a certain member of our staff will find that last one nailed above her desk first thing Monday morning. :mad: