Guy can't get it up

LegacyUser

I have started seeing a really nice guy and we decided to go that extra bit at the weekend but he couldn't preform. All night we tried and he couldn't. I was with someone who wanted it all the time and getting a hard on was as easy as blowing his nose.

He drinks quite alot, because its (was) the summer and theres been alot on the last few weeks. Is it alcohol? Or nerves? I just dont understand, but would like to add that I was very supportive to him on the night in question.

Thanks

Marksie

Either or both or something else entirely.

OK It was your first time so nerves + alcohol dont mix.

By your statement trying all night, i guess he was getting frustrated and upset with himself which would have made things worse as he would be feeling the pressure to impress.

And your reaction? Its important to realsie that your reaction will positively or negatively affect how he handles the situation.

If you set the p*nis aside and penetrative intercourse as the be all and end all adn go back to non penetrative pleasuring, making the foreplay the all of the situation. It will help with the nerves and also increase the ecstatic response.
Its also good for the two of you learning about each other.

If its alcohol, then he has to stop or moderate his drinking. In the end its a choice of beer and brewers droop, or a sexual realtionship. HIS choice, you cannot make the choice for him.

LegacyUser

Thanks Marksie... Thats cool advice.

Marksie

questionforyou: Your welcome.

But as you can see from the other thread at the moment from the guys perspective its a common issue.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055154932
Its good because you can see where a guy is coming from on this and where you yourself are coming from. Gives a reasonable balanced view of everything.

McGinty

Hi Op

I would concur with Marksie, I would also add don't take it as a personal slight that your boyfriend was unable to maintain an erection. I think there is terrible pressure on men to perform and often women are not sensitive enough on this issue. I find that when I am with a man I focus on pleasuring his body and letting go of the idea of penetration, if he remains hard fine, if he doesn't it is also fine. You would be amazed at how lovely it is just to touch, explore and experience other forms of lovemaking like oral/ or hands.

Another thing I do is often suggest we don't have penetrative sex and purposely avoid the genitals, a sort of reverse psychology, as it heightens tension around the genitals. We tend to want what we can't have. Finally communication is key, that is tell him what you like/feeling, etc. Ensure he does the same, even if he expresses his fear of performance, it is amazing how clearing that can be and it seriously enhances the lovemaking. I know a lot of people say I can't open up like that but I say if you can share your body with someone and your wibbly bits, then you should be able to talk openly with them as well. Best of luck

muboop1

try it sober... drink makes the lad go sad... and if pressure or anything can be involved...normally stopps him being able to have a chance even as he sobers up!

LegacyUser

'Thanks alot guys, thats very very valuable advice to me.

I did not really mind, we rolled around in the hay anyways. I just didn't really understand it, I think it might be all the drink, but sure we'll see.

Thanks again McGinty, Marksie, Muboop '

PeakOutput

this happened me last week but it was the drink usually iv no problem

if it happens again then it might be worth thinking about but a once off????? **** happens


it is embarassing tho

finbarrk

Yeah, get him to lay off the beer for a few days and then everything should work out ok.

Latchy

Hi all , havent posted on this site since i registered early this year but hope to be a regular soon.

On the subject , alcohol in my own expierence does affect male performance quite a bit and i also found that some aphrodisiacs like MACA which can be bought over the net ,are worth trying .

Cheers

bostonian

latchyco wrote:

Hi all , havent posted on this site since i registered early this year but hope to be a regular soon.

On the subject , alcohol in my own expierence does affect male performance quite a bit and i also found that some aphrodisiacs like MACA which can be bought over the net ,are worth trying .

Cheers

horny goat weed is also excellent.

Latchy

horny goat weed is also excellent.

Yes, and Rhodola rosea is also worth trying ....