Missing my Girlfriend

LegacyUser

I guess this is a personal issue..

Myself and my girlfriend have been together now since New Years. We had known each other for a few months before that, and we had been close since the beginning, then on New Years Eve I finally asked her out (corny I know!).

We've always been so good together. Hardly ever fighting, or arguing, spare a few silly times. And we fell in love more or less straight away. Since September '06 we had been seeing each other every day as we had been in the same class. So we always were together, no matter what.

And then over the summer we went on holiday; we spent a whole week together (morning day and night) and we grew even closer than before. I have never loved anyone more than I have loved this girl. Even if we had seen each other that day, we would be missing each other like crazy that night (because she lived at home with her parents).

Then, last week, she moved to England. She had been accepted to a university, which I had known about for ages. I tried to not let it loom over my head before she did leave. She left on Thursday, and ever since then it's been driving me crazy.

I miss her so much, it's been making me feel extremely depressed, where I don't want to do anything whatsoever, and sometimes I can't sleep and/or eat. I think I'm just finding the conversion to seeing her everyday for a year solid, to now only txting and talking on the phone.

The main question I want to ask is how do other people cope with long distance relationships?

Knockoff Nige

England isnt that far away. If you're in Dublin you could get the boat over and then train if you need to. Its not that expensive. Also, get a webcam (and buy her one). Long distant relationships are more difficult but they are not a lost cause. If there is a trust issue, remember she has to trust you aswell. Doers she make it home at the weekends?

Poco Loco

Cop on.
Keep busy. Make a life of your own. Sorry that's coming from someone who has been a long time single! Of course you miss her, that is understandable. But you need to keep busy and fill the gaps she left. You gotta have a life for yourself too. Find out again what makes you happy so that you're not just spending your days counting down the seconds til you hear from her again.

Long distance relationships are tough but once you both feel the same and are both willing to put in the same amount of effort at keeping in touch, I think you will be ok. Plan in advance so you have things to look forward to. And make sure to plan nice things for when you do visit each other - make the most of it! My friend and her boyfriend did the long distance thing in the hardest way - they met once when she was in Ireland for the weekend and kept in touch from then on. That was about a year and a half ago. That's what they did - both committed to it and made equal efforts - and she's now back in Ireland and they're living together! So it can work.

But do make the effort on your own to be happy.
Being alone isnt so bad!

AckwelFoley

young man. try 7 years like me.


You think after a few months you got issues? I known my girlfriend for 7 great years. and we r 2 months apart

I wouldnt chase it unless she is comming back.

Best of luck though .. .

seamus

Yep, go and get a life of your own.

You will get used to it. But keep yourself busy. Go and see all those mates you neglected because you spent every waking moment with your new girlfriend. Spend time playing those computer games you didn't get time to finish. Go spend your money on stuff for you.

_blank_

I wish my gf was in England.

Pretty much the same as you OP, got together just before Xmas, and I knew she was heading off on a world trip in June.

She's now in Auckland, New Zealand.

It's been hard, and I miss her of course, but she rings about twice a week (now that she has a NZ SIM Card I'll be ringing her too), we chat most days on MSN etc, text messages at all times of the day and night, you name it. I thought it would have been much worse, but in all honesty, with modern technology, you can be in pretty much constant contact if you want to be.

The physical side of things, well that's a different kettle of fish altogether. I suggest you make friends with Pam and her sisters for the time being.

It's England, you can get there for cheaper than a train from Dublin to Cork if you plan it properly.

Get on to Ryanair and book a few weekends over as asoon as you can. Book them far enough in advance and it will cost you Sweet FA, even if you can't make it over, it'll be only a small loss.

BUT, remember this. She's starting college, and will definitely be making new friends. Give her the time and space to do this. Don't crowd her (yes it's possible to crowd someone, even if they are that far away), don't give her shít for not calling you, or not being available to take calls exactly when you want.

There's going to be new fellas in her life too, accept this as normal, because, you know, it IS normal, especially in a college scenario. Go and make friends with these new mates of hers, when you go over don't insist that she spends every waking minute with you and you alone, have fun with her, and join in with the fun she's having with her new life.

If you accept she's over there, but probably missing you just as much, if not more, then work through it, you two will get through this.

Make the times you do have together special, and DO NOT have arguments when she rings or you ring her, on PC communications or by text message, they are much harder to put right if you aren't able to be face to face.

Now, you'll need to be getting on with your own life too, not just spend time moping around feeling sorry for yourself, because that will only wash with your mates for a short time. Keep going for beers with the lads, watching football or playing computer games (or whatever you are into, you get the drift). Do stuff so you can tell your gf what you're up to every day, because if you say you've been doing nothing, then she'll probably think you are a sad bastard who can't do anything without her, something that no girl likes in a man.

celt262

Go see her as often as you can. It's quicker to get to london than from one end of this country to the other, and don't worry there will be no guys chatting her up and perving at her at student nites out.

oconnoao

ugh im in the same boat-boyfriend's gone to germany for college, for a year. He left a week and half ago, and since then I've already booked two trips over to see him, he won't be home til xmas, but i'm going over in October and December.

I bought him a webcam and set up a skype account for him before he left so we can talk cheaply, he hasn't got the net set up yet but im sure it'll be great when it is!

i miss him tons already but I know he's missing me too-he's made an effort to text me every day even when he's out drinking with the lads:p

I don't really have much advice for you yet other than: get a webcam, Book ryanair flights-cheap deals on at the mo, and get out and do other stuff while she's not about. Best of luck!

gary the great

im over in london at the mo n my gf is in dublin. i go home every 3 weekends and i do it around work, if shes a student she can get flights at the inconvient (for workers) times which are much cheaper. The ting is it costs just as much to get to the airport over here due to the expensive transport system.

But its do-able, but very tough. Just email/text/ring all the time.

jj99

talk everyday!
few times a week is not good enough
my girls in america and is american which makes it harder decision wise

LegacyUser

'Pretty much all of the above, my girlfriends in Canada, just started college so its not a short term separation. Bought her a webcam, we skype pretty much every night. Try to focus on the positive side of things when you talk and dont dwell on how much you miss each other, I find that can be a bit of a bummer. Also since your so close (I envy you) visit regularly.

Lather rinse and repeat.'

CathyMoran

We were only apart for 2 weeks last year but it was the longest we were apart since we met (and that included us dating other people), he was in India at his brothers wedding. What you need to accept is that your phone bill will be huge, try and use Skype as much as possible and send random texts during the day, they do help. At least you do not have to deal with a time difference! When he was in India there were times when he could not get access to Skype so it cost us €3.50 a minute to stay in touch, it cost us over €400 for the two weeks apart! (I should explain, I was very ill at the time).

Marksie

I remember those feelings well . The 5 weekly reunions really were something. I juts accepted the feelings, sorta kept me balanced that if I couild feel like that it wasn't indifference

I ended up moving over to Ireland.
But it is a rollercoaster ride of inteense emotions as you cram everything into teh short time that you see her, then you are apart.
Accepting and handling those emotions is the crux of it.

LegacyUser

'I was in the same boat mate years ago. My girlfriend of 2 years went to enger-land too to go to college. I was gutted but we stayed in contact as much as possible. I was able to head over a few times as well (even though I was a competlely broke student). You will adjust and things will return to normal in time. Don't worry my man. If she's feelin the same way then you'll be fine.'

DD

InLove wrote:

I guess this is a personal issue..

I miss her so much, it's been making me feel extremely depressed, where I don't want to do anything whatsoever, and sometimes I can't sleep and/or eat. I think I'm just finding the conversion to seeing her everyday for a year solid, to now only txting and talking on the phone.

The main question I want to ask is how do other people cope with long distance relationships?

I know how u feel, we are apart cos of a f..work permit, its hard to be in a LDR but if its meant ...it will be. We've been together every few months, but it was killing us first year, now when we did some plans and we hope we will move together soon things started to be great. I guess when you know its going to happen u can hang up on smth real and everything is easier.
I know i am not happy without him, i love him everyday more and i am waiting for the day we will be moving together, his country or mine. I got depressed too when we fought or we werent chatting or just for no reason cos of the distance. Some days were great some other just unbearable.
If i wouldnt have the chats, webcams, txts and phone calls....I love him so much.

sjaakie

ah yes. those were the days.. had similar situation with my bf ( now husband ).. the longing! i would say : enjoy it, pick up your normal day to day life, try see each other as much as possible. In a few years time you will long back for this period in your life, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

being apart makes you realize how much you love the other person, its a big and good feeling.

KillerShamrock

Know how you feel my girlfriend lives an vienna and always has met her in austria. We've been together from new years day.

We've seen each other for about 2 to 3 months in total over the past 9 months beteen her coming here and me going there.
We went on holidays together which was really nice.

We text all the time she calls once a week she has no internet in her place at the moment but getting it soon. So no msn or skype.

The lack of something physical is hard but like a previous post said palm and her five sisters is going to be your best friend.
When you do get to see each other again the feeling is one of the best ever.

Just keep your self busy and the time flies. go out with friends enjoy youself it will help keep your mind off the distance