Sensitive Issue

LegacyUser

As the username implies, I cant believe I am going to post this here, so no point in beating about the bush.

I cum too fast. There you go. Said it.

Now, some people will say "tis all in your head, you just gotta relax" so, a little background-

I NEVER relax. My brain NEVER switches off. Tried yoga- no good. Tried meditation- cant (brain not switching off thing). I am not in my late teens/early twenties either so this is quite worrying. Hand me a joint/lots of alcohol, I will still perform and for quite some time, repeatedly, but not without a sedative of some description. And before ye mention those performa condoms, they work about 60% of the time. Thing is, its reached ridiculous levels at the moment- I am talking longevity shorter than a goldfishes memory. I am beginning to wonder if I am actually hitting maximum stimulation prior to penetration.

Now, thing is, I have been with a lot of people, some successfully, others "ah shít not again" lets do that again, and have been in long term relationships where at the onset its water works every two seconds for a while, then lengthier and lengthier (no pun intended).

So- given the fact that when in a relationship the longevity gradually grows, should I be particularly worried?? I am particularly worried at the moment as I have recently embarked in a relationship with perhaps the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on. I sprout a wood when she looks at me. We ar taking things v slow, but I would be mortified when I go "ah shít. Look what happened there. Again" the first time round, so is there a pill that will quite literally knock this thing on the head??

The other bastid about this problem is, you cant tell your mates!! I have, and while sympathetic, they either dont have the same problem or lie.

So, any magical cures folks?

Yours-

J. Bigglesworth*.

LegacyUser

'durex make a condom with a little local anestethic in the tip ,which can keep you going a bt longer.'

LegacyUser

'I'm in the same boat as you there mate. Never had the problem before with other women but have this problem with my current girlfriend. We've been going out for 8 months now and love each other very much. It is psychological and if there was a tablet you could take it would only mask it. But in my case its my girlfriend sounds like a porn star when shes about to come, the dirty filthy stuff she shouts out gets my mind going to no end

However you shouldn't think of this like something you need to fix. Its like anything else, you just need a bit of training. Masturbating is a good way to train yourself, bring yourself to the point of climax and learn to recognize when your about to come then stop. Do this again 5 or 6 times and try to go longer each time.

Best thing about this is you can practise on your own. But for got sake don't use porn ! Try using your mind, its much better than porn !

Also you can try and minimize the amount of stimulation to the head of your penis by using less of a thrusting motion. Women don't get more enjoyment out of it anyway ! Try going a bit deeper and using less of a wide range of motion.

Most of all if you feel yourself going to come, stop, clench you legs and buttock muscles. You might think this is breaking the rhythm but you can pleasure her in other ways during this short interval.

Essentially its about training yourself. No amount of Performa condoms or tablets are going to help.

And remember, its not a problem, sex is about pleasure, fun and love

Go down on a women until she climaxes and she won't give a hoot if you come faster than than pi**heads to a curry shop ! '

Knockoff Nige

See a hypnotist. Initially girls are flattered, when it ahppens again they get frustrated. But as the saying goes 'be there for her first' then you'll actually be trying to keep up.

AckwelFoley

Have a **** about an hour before you intend on having sex. This does not mean you go choking the chicken in Abrakebabra beside the meat shank on the spit, but i think u get my drift.

NextSteps

snyper wrote:

Have a **** about an hour before you intend on having sex. This does not mean you go choking the chicken in Abrakebabra beside the meat shank on the spit, but i think u get my drift.

I'm sorry. I have no idea what this means.

AckwelFoley

UB wrote:

I'm sorry. I have no idea what this means.

Have a **** before sex.

It basically means, to grasp a penis, preferably ones own penis, and while erect, make an up and down motion with your hand. If you can think of somone you like hile doing it, - in my case Margret Thatcher it will make it more fun. Eventually you will get a tingkeing sensation, this means you are about to ejaculate.

When you do, dont eat it.

NextSteps

snyper wrote:

Have a **** before sex.

It basically means, to grasp a penis, preferably ones own penis, and while erect, make an up and down motion with your hand. If you can think of somone you like hile doing it, - in my case Margret Thatcher it will make it more fun. Eventually you will get a tingkeing sensation, this means you are about to ejaculate.

When you do, dont eat it.

Yeah, well, thanks, I got that bit. But the culinary references?

LegacyUser

'Folks- thanks for the replies.

inthesameboat wrote:

Also you can try and minimize the amount of stimulation to the head of your penis by using less of a thrusting motion. Women don't get more enjoyment out of it anyway ! Try going a bit deeper and using less of a wide range of motion.

Most of all if you feel yourself going to come, stop, clench you legs and buttock muscles. You might think this is breaking the rhythm but you can pleasure her in other ways during this short interval.

Essentially its about training yourself. No amount of Performa condoms or tablets are going to help.

I said I cum quickly. I am far from being a novice. Traditional methods of slowing down DO NOT WORK for me. Another one is to clench the perineum so you can stop yourself píssing in mid flow. I can stop píssing when píssing like a horse, yet it has the opposite effect when having sex.

Now- that young dude Marksie seems to usually have all the answers sex related, as does Talliesin, yet no posts from deir camp as yet. <sniff>'

Colonel_McCoy

Smoke a j0int....................u will bend metal bars of it then!!!!:D

Bottle_of_Smoke

There's a road safety ad on right now, it's slogan was "only a fool breaks the two second rule"

Was hilarious whilst reading this thread.

Anyway as you've stated the traditional methods don't work I would ask a GP(I think there might be something medical that causes this)

Or a hypnotherapist.

Marksie

Jebuswept wrote:

So, any magical cures folks?

There are no quick fixes, you have to work at it.
Well meditation with a partner before lovemaking drops you both very nicely into the now, but you claim that you cannot get out of your head. It is in fact THIS which is your problem, no getting away from it.

Forrgetting about penetration altogether is another way, not becoming goal oriented. The dulling of the senses in my opinion is to be avoided at all costs, it prevents free flow of awareness.

But there are techniques you can use to conditione yourself to prevent ejaculation.
Strengthening the PC muscle daily can be used. As once it is strengthened by clenching it you cand stop ejaculation while still enjoying orgasm, in that way you will be multi orgasmic.

The stop start technique can be combined with the above or used on its own. You on your own bring yourself to the point then stop and clench, you can prevent ejaculation, or simply stoping before the point of no return and letting it subside will help.

Breathing and relaxing. If you have done meditation and yoga you will be aware of chakras and the ability to draw energy. It is not different when lovemaking you can draw the energy up from the base and allow it to flow thrrough the body. It will expand your orgaasmic potential.
Relaxing and breathing. When you approach orgasm, youtend to tense. If you relax the body it will prevent release, combined with breathing above it greatly increases the potential you have.

Awareness: If you are fiocussed on your own genitals, how can you be focussed on your partner. Focussing on your partner and allowing the sensations to wash through you, l;eads to a greater enhanced experienced. By focussing your awareness outwards you will be "getting out" of your head and not focussed on the need to ejaculate.

sabrina99

i have heard that sitting with a tennis ball under your balls and clenching(tenseing) your genital area strenghtens some muscle down there. havent tried it but its sposed to make you last longer. im not a bird by the way

Carrigart Exile

Jebuswept wrote:

As the username implies, I cant believe I am going to post this here, so no point in beating about the bush.

I cum too fast. There you go. Said it.

Now, some people will say "tis all in your head, you just gotta relax" so, a little background-

I NEVER relax. My brain NEVER switches off. Tried yoga- no good. Tried meditation- cant (brain not switching off thing). I am not in my late teens/early twenties either so this is quite worrying. Hand me a joint/lots of alcohol, I will still perform and for quite some time, repeatedly, but not without a sedative of some description. And before ye mention those performa condoms, they work about 60% of the time. Thing is, its reached ridiculous levels at the moment- I am talking longevity shorter than a goldfishes memory. I am beginning to wonder if I am actually hitting maximum stimulation prior to penetration.

Now, thing is, I have been with a lot of people, some successfully, others "ah shít not again" lets do that again, and have been in long term relationships where at the onset its water works every two seconds for a while, then lengthier and lengthier (no pun intended).

So- given the fact that when in a relationship the longevity gradually grows, should I be particularly worried?? I am particularly worried at the moment as I have recently embarked in a relationship with perhaps the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on. I sprout a wood when she looks at me. We ar taking things v slow, but I would be mortified when I go "ah shít. Look what happened there. Again" the first time round, so is there a pill that will quite literally knock this thing on the head??

The other bastid about this problem is, you cant tell your mates!! I have, and while sympathetic, they either dont have the same problem or lie.

So, any magical cures folks?

Yours-

J. Bigglesworth*.

Have a pre-emptive strike an hour beforehand

paulie.walnuts

Yeah cleaning the pipes an hour before hand is your only man.
A way i find works very well for delaying orgasm is:
If you feel that you're about there, whip the bad boy out and give the head of it a gentle squeeze, it's like starting from scratch again once you reinsert but may break your lady's rhythm.

Marksie

sabrina99 wrote:

i have heard that sitting with a tennis ball under your balls and clenching(tenseing) your genital area strenghtens some muscle down there. havent tried it but its sposed to make you last longer. im not a bird by the way

you dont need to go to that extreme its a lot simpler.
You can locate the PC by stopping mid pee. By clenching those muscles thirty times a day gently and building up to holding the clench, it conditions the muscle nicely. Take it easy and build up to extendeed clenching and unclenching, like any other muscle it can be strained.
You can do this essentially anywhere. (i know a woman who did this while waiting in the shopping queue at tescos for example)

stcatherine

Just read this and I'm on my way out the door but wanted to say there is some stuff you can buy (it's only like £10 in the UK) it's a tiny bottle of liquid and you basically 'paint' a tiny amount on to yer man about an hour before you start and believe me it's works !!!

will edit this post when I get back in about 30 minutes to tell you more, but don't be disheartened, My Hubby has the same problem and this stuff has been our god send ! (and no it's not illegal or anything like that either)

edited to add :

Ok so it's called Suifan Kwan, you can google for the stuff or PM me and I will give you the link to the place I bought it from in the UK (physically went to the shop so they are reputable and they deliver to ROI). Do not be fooled by the size of the bottle (it's literally a little bigger than a nail polish brush) that little tiny bottle has a lot of power !

There are a few things to be careful of when using it, one of which is you literally need the tiniest amount (and I mean practically use a dry brush), otherwise one of two things can happen

a) you go so numb you cant keep an erection
b) you stay hard for so long you can't achieve orgasm and she just ends up begging you to stop (believe me as fun as this sounds it really isnt, the friend who told me about this stuff also gave me this warning and she wasn't kidding)

the other thing is you need to apply it like an hour before hand, and I don't advise oral sex for her or she'll end up with a numb mouth !

It takes ages to get to know the right amount (truth is we still haven't got it perfect)

Of course there are loads of other creams and potions out there you could try, but from experience I know this particular stuff works !

LegacyUser

'Only one time I came quickly inside a girl and it wasn't the first time I'd had sex earlier.

What happened that particular time was my foreskin got caught and shoved up right under the the bottom part of the head, causing huge pressure.

This is a sort of "start" button for a man. Very difficult to reach (hence why not everyone in the world cums after a few seconds), but it has the same effect as a prostate when pressurised.

One other thing is, how short do you think short is? The average length of time for men is a depressing (or if you're ****, encouraging) 2 minutes.'

AngryBadger

AnExpert wrote:

The average length of time for men is a depressing (or if you're ****, encouraging) 2 minutes.'

....that can't be right, it just can't. I wouldn't even roll over for sex if I was only lasting 2 minutes.

OP This has probably been covered, but inc ase it hasn't :

On your own time, (i.e. when at home masterbating) pay attention to when you can feel yourself about to climax. It may take a while to identify exactly when you hit the "threshold" that isusually followed by an orgasm. Once you can identify that, try to anticipate it as you masterbate, and then stop jsut as you reach the peak. As you get more and more familiar with the rhythm of your climb to orgasm you'll find it easier to exercise some control over it.

Over tiem this increases the time it takes you tor each orgasm. however, I counsel you to be extremely careful young padwan. This can elad to a situation where unless you're being intimate with yourself it's very difficult for another person to help you reach that threshold.

So in short what I'm saying is maybe you're not as familiar with your orn...shall we say "orgasm profile" as you think, a little time spent with yourself and himself and no-one else might give you that extra insight.

LegacyUser

'

Marksie wrote:

You can locate the PC by stopping mid pee. By clenching those muscles thirty times a day gently and building up to holding the clench, it conditions the muscle nicely.

Now heres a thing. Clenching works when having a píss, as I said earlier, can stop mid flow when spilling gallons no hassle. It has exactly the opposite effect between the sheets. Actually increases the urge to spill.

Now, as for extended flexing of the blighter, hmmn. Have done this for some spiritual initiations which require the clenching of same for extended periods, but not during sex. Might give that a whirl.

Now- an even odder thing, though I thought it would have occurred to me before now, was when throwing lots of variation in the other night i.e. withdrawing followed by oral, it lasted quite a while. I was concentrating on pure enjoyment, rather than actually worrying. Did I mention the new GF is stunning and getting better by the day (smug smiles).

Now, someone asked about how long I think short is. Well, you see, its entirely unpredictable i.e. it can be seconds some days, 45 mins to an hour another with no predictability at all.

As for that knob numbing thingy, sounds interesting. I might just PM the poster and see what happens.

Keep the thoughts coming- (pun intended)'

LegacyUser

'

inthesameboat wrote:

Also you can try and minimize the amount of stimulation to the head of your penis by using less of a thrusting motion. Women don't get more enjoyment out of it anyway ! Try going a bit deeper and using less of a wide range of motion.

Most of all if you feel yourself going to come, stop, clench you legs and buttock muscles. You might think this is breaking the rhythm but you can pleasure her in other ways during this short interval.

Go down on a women until she climaxes and she won't give a hoot if you come faster than than pi**heads to a curry shop !

Sorry inthesameboat, but I just had to give a females perspective on this, and mine is that none of the above statements are true but particularly not paragraph two. I've known men to do this and it did my bloody head in. When a man breaks the rhythm he interferes with the womans building arousal and knocks her orgasm off course, whether he knows it or not, and it's HIGHLY frustrating! I'm not saying all women feel this way but I know I do and I've discussed it with my sister in the past and had her tell me "Oh yeah, I know what you mean, that does my head in too", so I'm sure we're not the only two women in the world who dont appreciate this. I'd be interested to hear what other women on here have to say about it.

OP, I think a better way would be to masturbate before intercourse as others have advised. And try not to be too hard on yourself, if a man comes really quickly first come round it CAN be flattering - as long as he's ready not too much later for round two!

By the way, the idea that two mins is average is (thanks be to God!) nonsense.'