just want to feel happy

LegacyUser

i dunno why i am even posting this. i guess i am looking for advice. i am in my mid-twenties and just dont feel happy. yet i have so many reasons to be happy. i have a good job, a boyfriend that i love. i always feel very down. i spend a lot of time alone. i think the biggest thing is friends, or lack of. i love my bf but i would love to have some girls that i felt really close to. going through school i two really close friends. we were always together. then they distanced themselves from me when we were sixteen and stopped all contact and that hurt. it still bothers me a lot. i had another friend that i was close to through school and am still in contact with. but i never felt she truly was herself with me. we were together a lot but she never confided in me or anything and thats what i missed. when we finished school we both changed and drifted apart. we are still in touch and meet up every now and then but i wouldnt call us close. although i know i can call her if i need her and same goes for her. we still talk if something important happens but she never can meet up for the sake of it. and i dont really like her boyfriend. she acts weird around him. she is one of those people that always says she is too busy. as a couple, myself and my bf have lots of friends that are also cpls. we get on very well with them and i get along especially well with some of the girls. but i dont know how to approach getting closer to them, as opposed to always meeting as couples. i get on well with them and they seem to like me. i dont no if any of this makes sense but any advice would be appreciated

Clare Bear

Why don't you ask the girlfriends out for a few drinks on their own? Arrange a girlie night out with a couple of them?

LegacyUser

yeah i was thinking of doing that. dont want seem rude towards the guys. but its a good idea. might try it and hope for best

Knockoff Nige

There reallty should be a sticky up for this type of thread where people of similar circumstance can arrange a meetup or soemthing

Clare Bear

OP if you're in the Dublin area PM me if you want.

LegacyUser

i'm new to this and dont really understand how it all works. i think i posted because i feel so down all the time. i guess i just wanted to see what people would advise. clairebear, why would i pm u? dont mean to sound rude, just not sure why u r asking.

Beruthiel

'

unregunhappy wrote:

clairebear, why would i pm u? dont mean to sound rude, just not sure why u r asking.

I've met clairbear a few times, she's a lovely, friendly girl and is probably just trying to help you out, don't read anything further into it than that.'

LegacyUser

'oh i know. sorry, i have seen some of clarebears posts and she is always helpful. and friendly. just wasnt sure why. i feel like i am wasting all your time here but believe it or not, you have helped me feel slightly less down in the dumps.'

Clare Bear

Thanks Beruthiel

OP I just meant if you wanted to talk you could PM me, I was in a similar situation a few years ago when I moved to Dublin and away from my friends, I know it isn't a very nice place to be and I'd be more than happy to to have a chat if you wanted to. No worries if not though. I really think you should ask the girlfriends out for a girlie night out, the boys won't think you're being rude at all.

LegacyUser

My gf was the same she had drifted apart from her school friends when she moved to dublin and all of her college friends are in relationships. She would maybe see them once a month if not less.

Where as she would see my girl friends and my friends gf's a lot so she asked them over one night and they get along great now and me and the lads a re regularly left to our own devices !!

But its great for her!

LegacyUser

'thats good to hear. nothing wrong with they guys being left to their own devices :-) Going by all the posts, I am thinking of just leaving the schoolfriend as is and concentrating on the girls of the couples if u no what i mean. i feel about three, i don't even know how to make friends with people! but i suppose a night out would be a good start. thanks for all the advice.'

Clare Bear

Just be yourself. Sure you already know these girls anyway, relax and be yourself and you'll be grand. Best of luck with it.

AckwelFoley

Get out more, jon a club of some sorts and meet more ppl.


If the "not feeling happy" is other than just because of your friends, then i suggest seeing someone about it, It could be a form of depression

Knockoff Nige

unregunhappy wrote:

Going by all the posts, I am thinking of just leaving the schoolfriend as is and concentrating on the girls of the couples if u no what i mean..'

Isnt that what you were victim of yourself?

LegacyUser

'i've often thought that but thought i was just being silly. i feel i can make myself happy, i just always feel very down and its hard. even things that are going well i feel crap about. my bf is always telling me to be happier and i no i make things difficult for him. i cause fights for no reason. i just find it hard to be happy. that sounds so silly but its the best way i can explain it.'

LegacyUser

'hi knockoff, sorry i think you misunderstood or i didnt explain well. i don't mean leave as in cut off. i just meant leave it as is. its working for both of us. we are there when we need each othere, meet up a few times a year, buy xmas and bday pressies and email and txt often enough. i just mean i wont try force it to be more. i feel we will be friends forever, jsut not as intense as when we were in school.'

curiousxxx1

unregunhappy wrote:

'hi knockoff, sorry i think you misunderstood or i didnt explain well. i don't mean leave as in cut off. i just meant leave it as is. its working for both of us. we are there when we need each othere, meet up a few times a year, buy xmas and bday pressies and email and txt often enough. i just mean i wont try force it to be more. i feel we will be friends forever, jsut not as intense as when we were in school.'

The fact of life is that with time changes who we are, i bet your friend is thinking the same too.
You can have an Ann Summer party or get someone to give your girly friends pedicures, facials e.t.c
I was in a relationship for 5 years and my way of escaping was inviting 6 or 8 friends. I still do, infact i have one coming up this weekend.
Try it

Marksie

I am not too sure taht an anne summers would be agood initial introductioon TBH, but certainly organising a get together would be.