suspish about bf

LegacyUser

ok wel long story short he has a habit of disappearing. every sunday between midday and 5 (precisely!!!) for the last 2 months my bf disappears off the face of the planet! his phone is turned off for all that time and then he just arrives back without any explanation. either hes an alien or something fishy is going on! i know i know i sound relaxed but i'm really worried!!! hes never cheated on me before wel ther was that 1 kiss 1 time but he really got upset over it and swore hed never do it again. now he wont tell me wher hes been and im scared to confront him about it n case he is wit someone else and wants to break up. my bday is comin up soon and i just couldnt take it right now but I dont know what to do!!

Knockoff Nige

Are you asking is your boyfriend cheating on you? Possibly, but we dont know. You'll only kn ow if you ask him. Sure it might spoil your party but better to know than to be thinking the worst.

Dord

Maybe he just needs a bit of time to himself every week?

Robbo

Sky Super Sunday.

twanda

How long have you been together?

Same thing happened to my friend - her boyfriend was disappearing at regular times aswell - turns out he has a kid and looks after it at certain times of the weekend - he didn't want to mention it at first and that's why the secrecy. Might not be the same thing at all in your case but its a possibility....I suggest you bite the bullet and ask him -- there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for it.

Zambia

reallyworried wrote:

ok wel long story short he has a habit of disappearing. every sunday between midday and 5 (precisely!!!) for the last 2 months my bf disappears off the face of the planet! his phone is turned off for all that time and then he just arrives back without any explanation. either hes an alien or something fishy is going on! i know i know i sound relaxed but i'm really worried!!! hes never cheated on me before wel ther was that 1 kiss 1 time but he really got upset over it and swore hed never do it again. now he wont tell me wher hes been and im scared to confront him about it n case he is wit someone else and wants to break up. my bday is comin up soon and i just couldnt take it right now but I dont know what to do!!

Oh ffs

come straight out and ask him!

Wibbs

Zambia232 wrote:

Oh ffs

come straight out and ask him!

Exactly. Why the hell do people over complicate this stuff? If you can't ask him this simple question, where does that leave the rest of the relationship?

scruff321

sounds a bit suspicious alrite but like has already been said u have to confront him

Carrigart Exile

reallyworried wrote:

ok wel long story short he has a habit of disappearing. every sunday between midday and 5 (precisely!!!) for the last 2 months my bf disappears off the face of the planet! his phone is turned off for all that time and then he just arrives back without any explanation. either hes an alien or something fishy is going on! i know i know i sound relaxed but i'm really worried!!! hes never cheated on me before wel ther was that 1 kiss 1 time but he really got upset over it and swore hed never do it again. now he wont tell me wher hes been and im scared to confront him about it n case he is wit someone else and wants to break up. my bday is comin up soon and i just couldnt take it right now but I dont know what to do!!

a couple of pints and watching the sunday footy

star-pants

Is it a case of you saying to him 'I was trying to get hold of you and couldn't' and him not responding or have you mentioned the lack of contact on this day & time to him at all?
Might he play golf? cuz people go off for 4-6 hrs playing golf & usually have their phones off...
Best thing might be to casually bring it up, ask how his day went, express slight curiousity in the fact his phone was off when you tried calling or something..

kraggy

Robbo wrote:

Sky Super Sunday.

That's what i thought at first too but the soccer has only been on the last few weeks, not the last 2 months.

axer

reallyworried wrote:

I dont know what to do!!

Its simple - ASK HIM!!!

IRISH RAIL

he could be a gaa fan or just a few on a sunday afternoon sounds very reasonable a little peace and quiet never did anyone any harm just ask him

Placebo

so him and a girl meet every sunday, midday till 5. She must be Cinderella.

milkerman

You gotta ask him. It's probably some simple innocent reason, does he know where you are all the time?
I am not sure if kissing someone qualifies as cheating, I suppose it depends on the circumstances.

Miss Fluff

Suggest doing something together on a Sunday between and midday and five and see what excuse he comes up with. You say your birthday is coming up so you don't want to rock the boat but surely you'd rather know than torture yourself with uncertainty and suspicion OP? There probably is a reasonable enough explanation but I find it really strange that you won't just come straight out and ask him. You don't have to be aggressive or overly confrontational, just say you can never contact him at those times so where does he go.

davyjose

Whatever it is, it's probably not as big a deal to him as it is to you. He probably just has something on, and doesn't realise it's freaking you out. I find it very unlikely that he's got another girl whom he sees only at these precise times.

cowzerp

sounds like he has a sprog that he has to mind..

kittenkiller

cowzerp wrote:

sounds like he has a sprog that he has to mind..

Yup, that's what I'd go for.

Mushy

kraggy wrote:

That's what i thought at first too but the soccer has only been on the last few weeks, not the last 2 months.

Sunday Game Live then. That could be it.

OP, if your worried, just ask him, you have a right to know.

FX Meister

I'd say it's either a kid or an elderly parent he has to mind on the sunday. Maybe his phone is off as he's giving the parent a sponge bath and doesnt want to get it water damaged

the_syco

5 hours? That's the usual 4 hours for seperated Dads, and 30 minutes travel each way.

If this is the case, he's probably afraid you'd run a mile. And would you if he told you?

If this is the case, the lad deserves respect: he didn't just run away.

spinandscribble

we cant tell you, we're not him.

if he refuses to give you an answer i'd tell him you're assuming its an affair otherwise why wouldnt he tell you. if he doesnt want to lose you he'll tell you the truth. if he does want to dump you then whats the point wasting your time with this rat?

zAbbo

Robbo wrote:

Sky Super Sunday.

or the GAA, today was All-Ireland Final.

It might be an idea to ask him where he was ?

I reckon it could be some strange lobster fetish, he could be knee deep in melted butter...

LegacyUser

'its football.Us boys need our space for it!'

DublinWriter

Sounds like he has a kid alright.

LegacyUser

'ok so it was sunday yesterday and he disappeared again like clockwork. i know hes not into football (definitely not into gaa!) so i asked him where hed been and he said "out, don't worry about it" he said the same thing a few months ago when his uncle was dying of cancer and he didnt want to talk about so i didnt push him but instead texted his brother to see if anything was up in the family but he says everythings ok!!

and he doesnt have a baby!!! dear god hes still one himself (hes 19)! bsides im his first! jus if somethings wrong i wish he could tell me '

Placebo

you just have to tell him that it worries you and you do trust him but its just odd. That speech, just press play.

Pinker

Look if your bf won't talk to you tell himw where to go, that would drive me nuts, I'd be gone if a gf tried that with me, I just wouldn't understand it

cance

reallyworried wrote:

'ok so it was sunday yesterday and he disappeared again like clockwork. i know hes not into football (definitely not into gaa!) so i asked him where hed been and he said "out, don't worry about it" he said the same thing a few months ago when his uncle was dying of cancer and he didnt want to talk about so i didnt push him but instead texted his brother to see if anything was up in the family but he says everythings ok!!

and he doesnt have a baby!!! dear god hes still one himself (hes 19)! bsides im his first! jus if somethings wrong i wish he could tell me '

does he come back smelling of drink? does he have any hobies that you are aware of?

he may simply be A: going fishing, sailing etc or B: visiting a family member/friend.

I used to turn my phone off when i fancied a bit of space from the missus, not clock work like your guy but i still did it. Cant get away with it now that i live with her.

Easiest thing to do is just explain that you are a little worried, you are very fond of him blah blah but you find his behaviour a little suspicious. If he cares he will set your mind at rest.

Mr. Incognito

12-5 on a sunday afternoon isn't optimum cheating time to be honest.

Kid,
Sport,
Gym,
Super-hero alter ego etc. etc.

Gumbyman

Charity work. Latin mass. Community Service. Having an affair. Quiet time out. It's probably just something embarrassing. You have to ask him though. You have a right to know. Or maybe you don't. Who's to say.

Keep us posted though - we're all curious now!! lol

John Mason

cowzerp wrote:

sounds like he has a sprog that he has to mind..

that's what i think it is

i am not sure what your birthday has to do with it. are you holding out for big expensive present???

i am assuming you havent been together very long or else you would have just "said hey where were you"

pretty-in-pink

You don't know for a fact that you are his first. some guys lie about that (yes really). He could have a kid. maybe its just head space.

talk to him

LegacyUser

'I don't mean to be a smart ass but there is a simple solution - ask him. Tell him you want to know. You do trust him but you want to know what he does and you don't think it's unreasonable that he should tell you.

It could be community service. Something stupid he did on a night out or something. Just ask him.'

mcguirkj

You could just follow him.......

conical

He's learning to salsa for your birthday - don't push him or you'll ruin the surprise

Is the guy not entitled to a bit of 'me time'? If you're that concerned and he wont tell you, I guess you should just follow him (though I'm sure he won't be impressed if/when he finds out!)

Carrigart Exile

spinandscribble wrote: »

we cant tell you, we're not him.

if he refuses to give you an answer i'd tell him you're assuming its an affair otherwise why wouldnt he tell you. if he doesnt want to lose you he'll tell you the truth. if he does want to dump you then whats the point wasting your time with this rat?

Rat?? So far we have a guy who has done nothing but stick to his normal routine?

DD

reallyworried wrote: »

ok wel long story short he has a habit of disappearing. every sunday between midday and 5 (precisely!!!) for the last 2 months my bf disappears off the face of the planet! his phone is turned off for all that time and then he just arrives back without any explanation./QUOTE]

u gotta ask him, ur his gf and u have all the rights to know, theres nothing to hide in a relationship, at least this is my opinion
to be honest i know a friend that was doing the same thing, every wed he was just gone no one knew where was he..i dont want u to think that could be the same but until u dont get an answer could be anything
he was visiting his x gf every wed for the last 12 years, so he never made plans in all these years on wednesday...he was with another woman but ...wed was his day and his x

Robbo

Robbo wrote: »

Sky Super Sunday.

By what the OP said then he would be coming home at half time

Cathmandooo

I do like the thought that he's taking salsa classes to surprise you! But it does sound like he has a kid, he's keeping it from you cos if he does then he lied that you're not his first (unless he had a one night stand while ye were together) and maybe he wants to sort his own head out first about what to do about the child. He's doing the good thing be going to see him/her though.

People easily juggle two lives without their partners knowing, well its not easy for them but they do very well at keeping things secret.

I hope it's something a lot more simple.

sunny2004

reallyworried wrote: »

ok wel long story short he has a habit of disappearing. every sunday between midday and 5 (precisely!!!) ................my bday is comin up soon and i just couldnt take it right now but I dont know what to do!!

Ask him to bring you to the pictures for your birthday on sunday afternoon !

dudara

This thread is a month old and the OP has not posted in it for a while. Please let it die unless she returns to post here again.

dudara