Staying Single

LegacyUser

Ok, a little bit of background. I'm single (ended 4 months ago) after a 3 year relationship with first serious gf i've had. I met her when i was 20/21 and in 3rd year of college. I only really had a couple of good "being single" months before i met her (lets just say i was a late ish bloomer when it came to meetin the ladies).

Now the last 4 months have been pretty good tbh in terms of meeting girls, be it randomly on nights out, or a date or two here and there, and me and my mates had a little agreement that we would do the whole single thing for a good while so that we could spread our wings a bit before getting tied back into anything..... but for the last 4 weeks or so i've only been meeting this one girl pretty much once or twice a week....and i find that when i'm out in pubs and clubs now with my mates, i'm nowhere near as flirtatious or chatty with the ladies as i have been previous to meetin this girl. I think there is a fair chance that if i asked this girl to make things a little more official, that she would be happy to. I get on very well with her, have a great laugh, and she is a gorgeous lookin girl to boot.

I guess what I'm trying to sort out is to either .....
1. stay single and try to wing it (i know wing it sounds bad) with her for as long as possible, more or less leading to her asking what i want to do or
2. go out with her and put an immediate end to the great few months ive had single

This has been wrecking my head for the last week or two, mainly because she is so nice and isn't the kind of girl, even in her current situation, who is randomly scoring guys on nights out. Part of me seriously wants to move things along with her, while another part is saying that i'll end up kicking myself for getting straight back into a relationship so soon after been out of a relatively long one, and at a young age also.

Not sure what kinda advice i'm looking for but i would like to know if anyone else found themselves in a similar position and what actions you took/ or would take etc.

Talliesin

You set yourself a rule in an attempt to increase your chance of happiness. All well and good, but once it starts getting in the way of what you want to do then you are no longer using the rule as a tool for the purpose it was intended for, but rather it is getting in the way.

cance

If you like her, do the honorable thing and make it official. she wont wait around forever

your mates should be happy you find someone nice.

If you like her, just go out with her and see how it goes
It's not like anyone's asking you to sign a lifetime contract just to go out

ollyk1

Don't be an idiot.

Make a commitment to the girl and take it from there. Enjoy the moment and don't be looking back at this decision in a years time wishing that you had something more meaningful in your life.

Anti

option 1

Lola123

In a similar situation to you OP. Ended a 3 year relationship 4 months ago too. I reckon it's important to be really sure that you want to get into a relationship before doing so as you could both get hurt in the end, if you're not ready for the commitment. Aside from the "staying single rule" which as other posters have said, doesn't work if it's stopped increasing your chances of being happy, I think you should wait a while til you're really sure you want to make things official. In other words, wing it. You don't have to score other people, but there's no harm in getting to know each other some more before making it official!