Normal or just a horrid person

MattKid

So anyway I've noticed recently how judgmental I am and that I have that underlying feeling of superiority. Put anyone in front of me and I can be relied upon to give a few reasons (usually unfounded I grant you) why I'm better than them.

Now obviously this is linked in to my self esteem, when I'm having fun and enjoying myself I don't waste my time doing this and take people for who they are, myself included.

now I hate the term 'Normal' almost as much as I hate someone describing themselves as 'mad ' or 'crazy' but is it a general human trait to do this, when we are focused on ourselves too much?

I think maybe I should have a trial run of judging people in a more positive way and seek out things I like about them.

We could do with a self improvement forum with exercises and logs.

Anyway sorry for my early morning brain farts and stuff.

Oh and if anyone does think I'm an arrogant prick, you're probably right but if you met me you'd find I hide it quite well!

SarahSassy

Were you the only son of an Irish Mammy??? If so, I would think thats a fairly typical attitude JOKING.....

Whats the problem if you are happy with yourself?

Marksie

It is a common enough trait. I belive everyone is prone to it at some time or other. When taken to extremes it is an extremely unnattractive personality trait.
I worked with someone who had taken this to extremes and she was totally unpleasant.

It did however mask deep seated insecurities.

You say that you doent have problem when you are "having fun". Does this then really surface when you feel threatened or in a position where you do not feel comfortable? In which case the strong possibility exists that you are using it as a defence mechanism.

"I think maybe I should have a trial run of judging people in a more positive way and seek out things I like about them."

I have highlighted the key word in this sentence. Why are you judging people? Better to juts accept tem.
It isn't as easy as it sounds granted, but you have to understand one thing. The first and hardest step is not in learning to accept others, but to accept yourself, note the character traits in yourself that are not what you would like and begin to change those that you woulds like to change, and that can be changed.

One way is to gaze into a mirror and honestly look at yourself. Surpsingly you will find this very hard to do, but it will give you some idea of where your issues lie.

Esel

MattKid wrote:

Put anyone in front of me and I can be relied upon to give a few reasons (usually unfounded I grant you) why I'm better than them.

If you give (i.e. voice) the reasons, then I'd say you have a problem. Thinking about the reasons is not too bad. Maybe reverse the process, and try to think of reasons they are better than you?

Everyone is better and worse than you really. Better dress sense, worse at conversation, better at telling jokes, worse at listening. Etc.

Anyway, thanks for your post. You made me feel superior to you!

After knowing someone like that, I have to say it was quite unpleasant. And all because they were highly insecure. On meeting someone, they'd put the other person down (either to their face or later on) and would be fairly arrogant.
Not pleasant at all. Covered up a lot of strong issues.
So OP, work on your self esteem a lot and go from there.

Put anyone in front of me and I can be relied upon to give a few reasons (usually unfounded I grant you) why I'm better than them.

Why you think you're better than them...

Ickle Magoo

In my experience "superiority" complexes are actually just inferiority complexes dressed up as bravado or eloquence - not an ounce of actual superiority in sight...I mean, think about it, if you were actually superior you wouldn't be hunting out ideas as to why you were superior, if it was of no consequence to your ego or psyche you just wouldn't do it...

I think it is a "normal" trait by people who need a stroke or some kind of psychological reassurance that they are ok...No! Better than ok - they are fab! :cool:

Perhaps you should do a little less concentrating on what makes other people tick & a bit more time on what makes you, you. It shouldn't matter what or who other people are, if you are comfortable in your skin. Now, I'm not saying you wouldn't compare, I'm just saying you wouldn't find yourself winning, everyone has a trick or two they do better than anyone else...best of luck

surhythms

I always find that when I start judging people for whatever reason that the best thing that I can do is to try and put myself in their situation and try and be a bit more compassionate towards them. Do you do this with people that you know and dont know ?

Knockoff Nige

Ì sometimes find myself doing this. Its embarassing and afterwards I'd think that whoever was there would think I was a mean person. But after a few drinks I'd probably do it again. Some people I know are no way judgemental to others and I respect them very much. My ex was like this and excepted the silly things I did. Definetely worth getting to know people like that over judgmental people.

I try and work on this problem daily and, in fact, boards.ie is a big help.

biko

MattKid wrote:

So anyway I've noticed recently how judgmental I am and that I have that underlying feeling of superiority. Put anyone in front of me and I can be relied upon to give a few reasons (usually unfounded I grant you) why I'm better than them.

Now obviously this is linked in to my self esteem, when I'm having fun and enjoying myself I don't waste my time doing this and take people for who they are, myself included.

now I hate the term 'Normal' almost as much as I hate someone describing themselves as 'mad ' or 'crazy' but is it a general human trait to do this, when we are focused on ourselves too much?

I think maybe I should have a trial run of judging people in a more positive way and seek out things I like about them.

We could do with a self improvement forum with exercises and logs.

Anyway sorry for my early morning brain farts and stuff.

Oh and if anyone does think I'm an arrogant prick, you're probably right but if you met me you'd find I hide it quite well!

Buy me a pint and I'll explain it all to you