sick of bf and his lot..want to escape

fluffytulip

Just had one of those evenings. I dont even know where i should be posting this so mods please move if ness.

He is such a *beep. just had the biggest fight over nuthing. It ended with me telling him we were over and i was leaving tomorrow and going upstairs to bed to cry my heart out over the *beep *beep.

not going to go into the whole thing of what happened but i really feel like i need to get away from him for a while.we are "ament" to be going to spain on sunday for a week. child is staying with my mum/dad.

I know i should be in the pub. im thinking i will just get up and leave in the morning, leave the child here. just keep driving sumwhere dublin cork i dunno where should i go..i want to get away..i have a good friend in kilkenny i could go see and go out with and stay with. but tbh im not in the mood and dont want to be annoying her with my problems. plus he would only ring everyone i know and i want him to sweat for a while and see what its like at home all day with a child

ANyone have any ideas on what i should do ? i know i sound like a physo but ffs he is really taking the biscuit. HELP PLEASE

Voodu Child

fluffytulip wrote:

ANyone have any ideas on what i should do ?

Don't post in after hours thats for sure.

Personal issues

fluffytulip

why?

Karoma

Moved.
Terry reported it asking that it be moved here - he's under the influence of alcohol and doesn't want to moderate anything in case he ****s it up.

Start from the beginning

fluffytulip

i cant. im going to the pub to have a drink will be back in half an hour. in tears again why oh why am i crying.

will post the full story then!

Peyton Manning

Youll need to be more specific about what happened - we have no idea what your bf did and whether it is a big deal or not.

MagicMarker

what ever you do don't run away from your responsibilities.

Victor

Take it easy on the drinking and go talk to someone.

D Bronc

Drinking when your upset/angry/confused is never a good idea.
Take it easy.

fluffytulip

well my bf's dad is getting married again in september ok. his wife to be has 3 kids from previous marriage. My boyfriend has a younger brother and a sister that both still live at home with him. My bf and i own our own home and have been seeing each other for over 4yrs.

I get on ok with his parents have always been polite welcomed them to our home, invites at xmas birthdays etc.

Anyways, my bf was asked if he wanted to go to the wedding which is goin to be abroad. he said yeah sure why not. I wasnt invited. I did not mind and just thought they want a low key and perhaps didnt want the expence of another person. so was left at that. i was invited to the after party which will be in ireland with alot of friends/familly. I rsvp that we would be attending.


Today, his dad rang and said that one of the bride (to be) daughters will not go to the wedding so my bf's gf (they are only together 3months) will go instead like fill in the space etc. like go abroad for the church part.

So this evening He told me this and I said oh ok..he said whats up..i said oh it just would of been nice if i was asked to go in stead of your brothers gf as im practically familly. (were engaged) he said yeah but what could i say then? it had been sorted? i said oh well u could of said something like why ? or say u werent going to go to wedding now..(i would not be so mean though just testing to see wot he would say). He started shouting oh well i can hardly not go..its payed for etc..then he went on and on who cares i was like eh i do.

then i just got real upset told him we were over and i was leaving to morrow..

the end. ok probably sounds petty but still:mad:

Canis Lupus

A: You're right to be annoyed in some respects that you didn't get invited to the wedding in Spain. THat's odd that you weren't. You own a house and have being going out for 4 yrs...

B: You're right to be angry that they picked someone new over you.

C: Blokes don't reeeeeally think the way girls do tho. He was just told it and accepted it.

Be pissed off with the folks. That in my eyes is quite a slight to you. Try not to be too mad with your fella and wanting to run off and it's over...... Cmon, try the grown up approach.

joePC

Sounds stupid to me, get over yourself, arguing over this crap with a child involved, grow up and cop on. So you weren’t invited it’s not his fault. March downstairs and applogise for starting this argument one which he had no control over.

D Bronc

I understand where your coming from but this is not your bf's fault, sure he could have stood up for you but it wasnt anything he could control.

I think you should have a word with his dad and wife (to be), about why you werent invited. You can say you were fine with the after party in Ireland but since, other people have been invited without giving you a second thought.

It wasnt fair to expect your bf to say he wouldnt go either because he probably feels stuck in the middle too.

You really need to speak with his dad as i said and probably not tonight as you've been drinking:eek:.

You can only get the answers you seek from your bf's dad and wife (to be), so dont be so hard on your bf, at least dont make any harsh decisions now while your :mad:.

easyontheeye

maybe the father was thinking who would mind the baby while your away?

masseyno9

i think the problem was at the part where you said you were 'testing' him. He probably thought you were being unreasonable (a valid conclusion to draw) and obviously didn't know he was being 'tested.' From the sounds of it, his reaction may have been OTT aswell, but i definitely think your test backfired. After all, how can he be at fault for you not being invited. Go talk to him tomorrow and sort it out. Don't leave your child or make him 'sweat it out,' it won't help either of you.

And while you're at it, have a word with the bf's dad. If you don't wanna, then cross him off the christmas card list!

Talliesin

It was clearly deeply unfair of him not to use his magic mind-control ray to change his father's mind. What was he thinking? I don't know how you put up with him.

the_syco

fluffytulip wrote:

i said oh well u could of said something like why ? or say u werent going to go to wedding now..

This is what made him flip. You were testing him, were you? Blood is thicker than water, and forcing him to choose is not fair, esp as he has no control over it. Ask ANYONE about weddings, and you'll find the bride usually takes over the planning, so unless she has met you, she may not have know you.

fluffytulip wrote:

Today, his dad rang and said that one of the bride (to be) daughters will not go to the wedding so my bf's gf (they are only together 3months) will go instead like fill in the space etc. like go abroad for the church part.

I'm confused. Are you not your bf's gf? Also, the bride may know the gf better than you.

Carrigart Exile

fluffytulip wrote:

well my bf's dad is getting married again in september ok. his wife to be has 3 kids from previous marriage. My boyfriend has a younger brother and a sister that both still live at home with him. My bf and i own our own home and have been seeing each other for over 4yrs.

I get on ok with his parents have always been polite welcomed them to our home, invites at xmas birthdays etc.

Anyways, my bf was asked if he wanted to go to the wedding which is goin to be abroad. he said yeah sure why not. I wasnt invited. I did not mind and just thought they want a low key and perhaps didnt want the expence of another person. so was left at that. i was invited to the after party which will be in ireland with alot of friends/familly. I rsvp that we would be attending.

Today, his dad rang and said that one of the bride (to be) daughters will not go to the wedding so my bf's gf (they are only together 3months) will go instead like fill in the space etc. like go abroad for the church part.

So this evening He told me this and I said oh ok..he said whats up..i said oh it just would of been nice if i was asked to go in stead of your brothers gf as im practically familly. (were engaged) he said yeah but what could i say then? it had been sorted? i said oh well u could of said something like why ? or say u werent going to go to wedding now..(i would not be so mean though just testing to see wot he would say). He started shouting oh well i can hardly not go..its payed for etc..then he went on and on who cares i was like eh i do.

then i just got real upset told him we were over and i was leaving to morrow..

the end. ok probably sounds petty but still:mad:

so basically you messed with his head to get a reaction over a decision he had no hand in. You need to take a long look at why?

Sleepy

Make like it's steak and bj day in your attempt to apologise for this one. You fvcked up badly.

I don't know if you're from the type of family where this type of wedding can occur but tbh, if it were my Dad's wedding I'd lose the fvcking rag at anyone suggesting I shouldn't go however lightly they implied it because it'd be exactly the kind of thing my mother would love to see (scorned woman and all that). This could be quite a delicate issue for your boyfriend and like everyone else says, it's not one he has much control over.

How pissed would you be if his brother's new girlfriend started trying to dictate to you who/who not to invite to your wedding?

Marksie

well.......

Maybe the bride had control of the guest list

Maybe her husband to be could have insisted

Maybe your boyfriend could have queried it

Maybe you should look at your reaction.

This is a minor argument which has spiralled out of control.
Your first post, with all the beeps, definitely placed the balme squarely on your bleepety bleep bleep boyfriend.

Its not the case, there are two sides in this and i think that you had better look back and se how you escalated the situation. From a minor domestic into a full blown drama crises.

To talk about leaving and getting drunk is really a sign of immaturity. Sure getting pissed off is one thing, and I tink anyone would be. But to put your relationship on the line over this... a bit soap opera

the_syco wrote:

I'm confused. Are you not your bf's gf? Also, the bride may know the gf better than you.

A little later on she talke about her bf brother's G/f. Yes, i know, complicated

Actually looking at that a thought occurred to me...is this because you feel slighted that your b/f brothers g/f was invited and not you? That in fact you feel they value her more than you?. That the fact because your b/f didn't immediately demand a change in teh guest list, he is slighting you and that you are somehow diminished or undervalued? Is it all therefore a fit of pique?
Whet your boyfriend said what could i do, it had been sorted, as one poster highlighted... you tested him by saying about not going. Sorry, but that silly game playing nonsense was bound to end up ij a row. He wasn't to know you were testing him, unless of course you test him all the time. If anyone failed the tests it was you. Silly childish move to do that
As was the threats to leave and teh i want to get drunk.

One thing though.... if you are surprised thath you arent getting more support, welcome to PI. The issues are dealt with based on what is glaringly obvious. It is also obvious that you will pull a stunt like that once to often and instead of bewailing and threatening to leave, you will wake up to find your bags packed for you.

fluffytulip

Thanks for the replies guys..ok maybe I was a bit haste but I just felt so like omg why wasnt I asked to go instead after all im practically familly, the mother of his grandchild etc etc. But they go and ask my bf's younger brothers gf that he has only been seeing for a couple of months.

sometimes I just wonder how on earth my bf is even related to them, there all so different its unreal. I do get on with them as Ive said. I should not have blamd my bf but I would of liked for him to have said something like why ? or something along those lines?

tbh i dont even wanna go to the reception part now in ireland actually in fact im not goin thats how pissed i am STILL!!

bf did actually say sorry last nyt for what he said..i just ignored (i was still thick) so i guess we will talk today.

The bride does know me, weve met several ocasions and never had any bad words between us.

my bf's lot hardly ever mind the baby when were away its always my mum..so surely nuthing would of changed there..

I think I will just cross them of the xmas list is right, ive always gotton all of them nice bday/xmas pressies/cards when bf cudnt be bothered would just write on the cards..

So to end yeah im a bit jealous that the bf's brothers gf going instead of myself but not to worry. I dont care. I just would of liked him to have said something when he had the chance..

And one last thing I think if i did go to the reception a row would break out between us:o

masseyno9

Well it seems now is the right time to talk to the bf. TELL him how you feel, don't shout/argue/fight again, and if he doesn't react the way you want, ask him to see things from your point of view. Try your hardest not to let it escalate into a shouting match, and always remember, it is his family you are talking about.

Would talking to the father do anything? or ask the bf to have a word with him. Not to get you a 'pity invite,' but just to let him know you're feeling left out and under-valued. Also, now that your bf has apologised, now you should too, and explain why etc...

good luck, hope it works out well!

Rb

Sounds like you did your boyfriend a favour by telling him it was over, TBVFH.

MagicMarker

jesus christ woman. Get over yourself and grow up!! Something tells me that you wouldn't care half as much if this wedding was in Ireland.

Get a grip.

Peyton Manning

Bloody drama queen. Get over yourself and grow up, you do not deserve your boyfriend if this is the way you act.

Oryx

This is not all about you. The decision to invite bfs bros gf (!) prob went along the lines of: X cant come... **** weve a place to fill..... brother pipes up... how about my gf.... ok cool.... At no time did anyone decide lets invite someone else just purely to p1ss off fluffytulip. You really really need to get a grip and stop stressing and rowing about you not going to a wedding you werent going to in the first place.

Silent Grape

posts like the two above arnt helpful and they're full of their own egos, there are better and less completely rude ways to convey your feelings. she isnt insulting you, so why are you both getting so self rightious and angry? her issue is that her bf didnt stick up for her.

MagicMarker

Silent Grape wrote:

her issue is that her bf didnt stick up for her.

It's really not. Her issue is why was the other girl was asked and not her, her bf not sticking up for her plays a minor role in this scenario.

Heinrich

Dear me what a mess. The OP has a boyfriend, a child and a bunch of horrors who could eventually become her in-laws!

The fact the she may be jealous or otherwise is a side issue as far as I am concerned. It is extremely bad form to exclude her from her (eventual?) father-in-law's wedding on any pretext. The old fart is the grandfather of her child.

I was confromted with some similar family tampering some years ago and both my wife and I "declined" the wedding invitation to her brother's wedding! We are the best of friends despite that.

I think the B/F was spineless.

the_syco

Silent Grape wrote:

her issue is that her bf didnt stick up for her.

And our "issue" is that what she called a "test" question, would get us riled up about it. It'd be unfair asking the bf to stay away from his fathers marraige, as it's not the done thing, esp if he was close to his dad.

I acknowledge that they've been together for some time, but at the same time, she'll have to acknowledge the time father and son spent together.

Finally, if the bride is doing the wedding, the bride tells his father, he tells him, and that's that. Sure, the bf could have asked, but for you to flip over it, instead of asking, was a bit extreme.

Heinrich

the_syco wrote:

And our "issue" is that what she called a "test" question, would get us riled up about it. It'd be unfair asking the bf to stay away from his fathers marraige, as it's not the done thing, esp if he was close to his dad.

I acknowledge that they've been together for some time, but at the same time, she'll have to acknowledge the time father and son spent together.

Finally, if the bride is doing the wedding, the bride tells his father, he tells him, and that's that. Sure, the bf could have asked, but for you to flip over it, instead of asking, was a bit extreme.

You are making some assumtions here! How would you know if the B/F is close to his father or that they have spent time together? Is there something you know that "we" don't?

fluffytulip

Hi again, well sat down with himself and said sorry etc and explained why I was so mad. He said its ok and that he could have questioned it but he just didnt think at the time. I said ok. he said well i will ask him tonight when i see him..tbh i dont even know if i want anything to be said now. id rather just forget about it.

I told bf that im not goin to the wedding reception. asked him was he going he said he didnt know now so its all messed up.

Bf's relationship with dad is grand, dont see each other a lot. he doesnt make the effort at all to visit us as we live an hr drive away. never offers to take child/babysit nothing. I dont have an issue with any of his familly. His mum visits us at least once a month and is a lovely woman.

Heinrich- your post is exactly how i see it. me and bf have never even met bf's brothers gf and she has only met his dad 2/3times at most like quick hello etc.

I still feel kinda worthless that I wasnt invited when as heinrich said one day i will be related to them. anyways im just chilling out now will see what happens to night!!

foxy06

completely agree with Heinrich. Inviting one girlfriend and not the other is bad form altogether especially if they have children and are really considered a family. I would be just as put out and upset and I don't blame you for being upset fluffy tulip BUT I don't think its your boyfriends fault at all and you need to be more supportive of him. He is in the worst possible situation here because he is damned no matter what he says or does. At the end of the day you can't choose your family.

fluffytulip

hi foxy06, its me fluffytulip just reading ur post has got me worked up again!! and that im gona get bf to ask why wasnt i invited when the place became available.

after all. we are engaged, own our own house have a child together i am practically familly so ahhh ok will post back later!!

Oryx

You sound much calmer about the whole thing now. edit: or at least you did.

When it comes to in-laws and out-laws the saying 'least said soonest mended' is so true. They may annoy you, but you are piggy in the middle so mostly you have to suck it up, or your relationship with your bf may suffer.

the_syco

Heinrich wrote:

You are making some assumtions here! How would you know if the B/F is close to his father or that they have spent time together? Is there something you know that "we" don't?

You do have a point, so my bad:o

fluffytulip, ask the bf are there any kids (below the age of 5) going? I ask as my mates getting married, but doesn't want any kids that will be screaming there (he wants it to be perfect for his gf).

fluffytulip

hi the_syco.

I dont know if their is any kids going. but on the reception invited it was just me and bf invited no mention of the baby so i arranged a babysitter for it. but will have to cancel that now of course. and another thing was when they first announced the wedding said to us oh u's can stay in the hotel we will pay for it..but that not the case now..told would have to stay at bf's dad's house as hotel fully booked.

I know for a fact that they booked all the rooms and i bet there booking other friends in and were just been pushed out

the_syco

fluffytulip wrote:

I know for a fact that they booked all the rooms and i bet there booking other friends in and were just been pushed out

Don't take it the wrong way. My mate has no definate date for the wedding, but his aunty already wants the date. Once the date gets known, everyone rushes in and books the hotel. Kids don't always think of where they're going, they usually assume they can stay in the parents house. Sounds like this has happened.

Oryx

fluffytulip wrote:

I know for a fact that they booked all the rooms and i bet there booking other friends in and were just been pushed out

If you start making assumptions like this in your head you will wind yourself right up and be furious by the time you talk to them, when what you are thinking may not be the case at all. I get that you are annoyed, but you really seem to be allowing yourself to build this up into something far bigger than it is.

AngryBadger

fluffytulip wrote:

my bf's gf (they are only together 3months) will go instead like fill in the space etc. like go abroad for the church part.

What?

Your response makes you sound like a muppet. And this story is waaaaaayyy too convuluted.

fluffytulip

AngryBadger...if you had bothered to read the next post or 2 you would have read that I ment my bf's brothers girlfriend. Muppet.

I was trying to make it easy for other posters (which had something worthwhile to say) to understand.

dont bother replying if you have nothing helpful to say.

dudara

fluffytulip don't call other posters names. It's quite common for people to misread posts.

I would feel aggrieved if I was in your place. However, you shouldn't have take it out on boyfriend. Men genuinely just don't see the same things as women and it's not surprising that he didn't pick up on the slight you've just suffered.

You're perfectly entitled to ask why this other woman has been invited and you haven't been asked, especially given your closer links to the family.

LegacyUser

I think you are dead right to be angry OP. To the posters saying she should get over herself and forget about it etc....the boyfriends family have been extremely disrepectful to her here considering she is engaged to and has a house and child with her boyfriend - she is basically family herself. To ask someone who they hardly even know and has only been going out with the boyfriends brother for a few months is a joke. Someone has said, oh they just asked whoever and never gave it much thought. Not so, this is a wedding not a picnic and someone made the conscious decision to favour a stranger over the OP at some stage.

The boyfriend is not at fault so I wouldn't be too hard on him but I would be pushing for him to ask why someone else was invited instead of her, I'd be very curious as to why as it doesn't seem to make any sense.

If this was me, I wouldn't just forget about this whole thing, in future I would have zero dealings with and show absolutely no respect to whoever decided not to invite you. I would in no way go to the reception. If you do end marrying the boyfriend I would suggest that you mention to him not inviting his father and wife to the church part of your wedding as if you are not good enough to go the church part of theirs they should not be at yours. To think that you are engaged to be married to your boyfriend and they expect to attend this wedding down the line makes their decision not to invite you even more offensive.

AngryBadger

fluffytulip wrote:

dont bother replying if you have nothing helpful to say.

I think what I was saying was very helpful. I was trying to point out that your postings were very inconclusive, I suppose I shouldn't have called you a muppet, but your bf's responses to your frequent tantrums, (based on how YOU described them) seemed reasonable to me. Whereas your excuse as to why you have problems with his family are not really all that reasonable from my perspective.

Whether his family are the worlds worst or not it's completely unrealistic for you to expect him to just cut them off completely. Reading your posts here, (rambling and incoherent though they may be) it seems to me like your bf is caught between a rock and a hard place. He obviously doesn't want to terminate contact with his family, but that seems to be the only thing that will make you happy, while at the same time you're quick to get anoyed at being given short shift by said family, and almost totally unwilling to acknowledge or accomodate that fact that they are his family.

Also it seems to me there's a fairly messy family history on his side, which again you're not really making any effort to accomodate.

If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong, no skin off my nose, but I'm basing all this on what YOU'RE posting.

karen3212

Wait a minute, isn't fluffytulip and child and her boyfriend - the family now.

It sounds like they are to me. I think you have a right to be angry, you cant stop yourself feeling. I would expect my husband to say something in a situation like that without prompting. His wife and child should be his biggest concern. Just because you aren't married doesn't mean you are not a family.

Though I agree with other posters, you have to communicate with your partner. After all that is what a family is all about, as you have done tell him about how you feel, I would never let my extended family exclude my husband like that. Sorry but apart from the flying off the handle, I think you had a perfect right to tell your man how you felt. For fs sake, who keeps all their feelings bottled for fear of upsetting someone else, what kind of communication is that.

K-9

fluffytulip wrote:

Today, his dad rang and said that one of the bride (to be) daughters will not go to the wedding so my bf's gf (they are only together 3months) will go instead like fill in the space etc. like go abroad for the church part.

So this evening He told me this and I said oh ok..he said whats up..i said oh it just would of been nice if i was asked to go in stead of your brothers gf as im practically familly. (were engaged) he said yeah but what could i say then? it had been sorted? i said oh well u could of said something like why ?

Can see where you're coming from. Though should you not be angry with his dad/fiancee?

fluffytulip wrote:

or say u werent going to go to wedding now..(i would not be so mean though just testing to see wot he would say). He started shouting oh well i can hardly not go..its payed for etc..then he went on and on who cares i was like eh i do.

Did you tell him you where testing him? Have you told him you wheren't serious? That you where playing mind games?

You wouldn't be so mean as to stop him going, yet now you want to split up and go away, because you're thick your mind game backfired! He called you on the mind games, told you he's going no matter what and now you're thick!

K-9

Disrespectful wrote:

The boyfriend is not at fault so I wouldn't be too hard on him but I would be pushing for him to ask why someone else was invited instead of her, I'd be very curious as to why as it doesn't seem to make any sense.

If this was me, I wouldn't just forget about this whole thing, in future I would have zero dealings with and show absolutely no respect to whoever decided not to invite you. I would in no way go to the reception. If you do end marrying the boyfriend I would suggest that you mention to him not inviting his father and wife to the church part of your wedding as if you are not good enough to go the church part of theirs they should not be at yours. To think that you are engaged to be married to your boyfriend and they expect to attend this wedding down the line makes their decision not to invite you even more offensive.

Please OP do not take this advice!

What, to get back at them do not invite the grooms father to the church to see his son get married. Ah yeah, that's a solution alright. A father has a right to be at his sons wedding.

The OP has no particular right to be at this wedding abroad. Off course, she has more than the other gf but fighting fire with fire never works.

I can see there being no wedding, if the OP insists the bf's father is not invited to his own wedding!

Coonagh Cowboy

:mad: I may be wrong in the assumption here but it sounds like you were fishing for a reason to leave and the whole wedding invite bit was just an opportunity for you to do so without looking too badly in the eyes of your friends.So if you get this upset over something the lad really had no control of and want to leave,then leave.But you did mention a child involved and I can only assume that you are it's mum,and you mentioned about just leaving the child that easily?Shame on you then,maybe you should leave the child with him and pack your belonging and go,from what I read of your posts they'd both be better off.Anyone who talks of leaving their child that easy quite frankly disgusts me.To even think of leaving your child over something so petty is just unbelievable to me.And you never mentioned for once of the impact it could have on your child,you only concentrated on yourself,well I've news for you then in case you missed that edition,once you have a child you come in second always,the child should always be the first thing on your mind and I dont mean thinking of ways to abandon it.Grow up already.

SarahSassy

Coonagh Cowboy wrote:

:mad: I may be wrong in the assumption here but it sounds like you were fishing for a reason to leave and the whole wedding invite bit was just an opportunity for you to do so without looking too badly in the eyes of your friends.So if you get this upset over something the lad really had no control of and want to leave,then leave.But you did mention a child involved and I can only assume that you are it's mum,and you mentioned about just leaving the child that easily?Shame on you then,maybe you should leave the child with him and pack your belonging and go,from what I read of your posts they'd both be better off.Anyone who talks of leaving their child that easy quite frankly disgusts me.To even think of leaving your child over something so petty is just unbelievable to me.And you never mentioned for once of the impact it could have on your child,you only concentrated on yourself,well I've news for you then in case you missed that edition,once you have a child you come in second always,the child should always be the first thing on your mind and I dont mean thinking of ways to abandon it.Grow up already.

Have you heard of spaces and paragraphs????

Your post was too hard to read.....

Carrigart Exile

SarahSassy wrote:

Have you heard of spaces and paragraphs????

Your post was too hard to read.....

And you post was painful sarah.

Good points Cowboy

LegacyUser

'

Coonagh Cowboy wrote:

:mad: I may be wrong in the assumption here but it sounds like you were fishing for a reason to leave and the whole wedding invite bit was just an opportunity for you to do so without looking too badly in the eyes of your friends.So if you get this upset over something the lad really had no control of and want to leave,then leave.But you did mention a child involved and I can only assume that you are it's mum,and you mentioned about just leaving the child that easily?Shame on you then,maybe you should leave the child with him and pack your belonging and go,from what I read of your posts they'd both be better off.Anyone who talks of leaving their child that easy quite frankly disgusts me.To even think of leaving your child over something so petty is just unbelievable to me.And you never mentioned for once of the impact it could have on your child,you only concentrated on yourself,well I've news for you then in case you missed that edition,once you have a child you come in second always,the child should always be the first thing on your mind and I dont mean thinking of ways to abandon it.Grow up already.

lol, whats this crap? Did you even read her post? She never mentioned anything about walking out on her child's life and abandoning him/her as you are suggesting. Talk about picking up something wrong.
She said she would like to get away for a few days while leaving the child with her fiance as she is obviously stressed. Completely different scenario to the one you have dreamed up.

Seani32 wrote:

Please OP do not take this advice!

What, to get back at them do not invite the grooms father to the church to see his son get married. Ah yeah, that's a solution alright. A father has a right to be at his sons wedding.

The OP has no particular right to be at this wedding abroad. Off course, she has more than the other gf but fighting fire with fire never works.

I can see there being no wedding, if the OP insists the bf's father is not invited to his own wedding!

The OP does have a right to be at that wedding, I cant imagine anyone in my family or any of my friends getting married and inviting another family member while excluding that person's spouse, which the OP is to all intents and purposes. She is the mother of their grandchild for god sake. And now that they have invited the boyfriends brothers new gf who they dont even know over the OP, it shows a complete lack of respect and courtesy for the OPs feelings. I dont see how it can be viewed any other way and I dont see anyone could not be very put out by this.

If this was me I would seriously make it clear that I do not want them at the church part of my wedding and if my fiance disagreed with me which she very likely would I would capitulate for their sake. But I would like the father and his wife to know that I didn't want them there.

I would not talk to the father and the wife if I met them at any stage during the wedding only to say hello or to tell them to go and f*** themselves if I heard even the slightest disrespectful remark from them. I will not treat anyone with more respect than they treat me, to do so only makes them have even less respect for you.'