Age difference in relationships

Spicy Lauren

Soon to be 29 year old female dating a 22 year old guy.
I didnt know his age until I asked him, and it was a bit of a shock cos I thought he was older than me. Now with time, i've come to realise that he is a bit more immature than I thought he was and I'm feeling somewhat uncomfortable about it. One of his mates recently called me a cradle snatcher, which didnt help.
He invited up to his house last weekend, but since he still lives with his parents I turned it down. I wouldn't like to face his mum when she asks him how old I am...
Your opinion?

L.

purple'n'gold

You just don’t seem to be comfortable with the whole situation, best to just walk.

patrickolee

Don't worry about it, age is just a number (one which depressingly keeps increasing!)

Schism

purplengold wrote:

You just don’t seem to be comfortable with the whole situation, best to just walk.

If you don't feel right this early into a relationship it doesnt bode well for the future. My advice is the same as purple'nd'gold's.

Knockoff Nige

Speaking from experience, age can be a huge factor. People that much younger tahn you have a right to be more immature. You'll probably notice alot more things along the way and so the age difference will become even bigger (of an issue). But, where's the harm in seeing how it goes. Breakups are as much part of life as happily ever afters.

Marksie

When i was 21 I was in a relationship with a 30 year old. It was very good and we both enjoyed it all.

Neither regretted commencing it.

Sod everyone else, they are jealous :-)

Petey2006

He's immature, his mates are immature and you cant go to his house because you don't want to face his folks. Is there anything positive in the relationship?

BrandonBlock

Don't worry in 7 years he'll be the same age as you.

Leeby

Ah don't mind his mates comment, I'm sure he didn't mean to get at you, probably just meant it as a joke and didn't realise the weight of his words.

My cousin went out with a girl 9 years older than him from when he was 18 til about 21, he was happy, she was happy, family accepted her and got on great, didn't work out in the end but I don't think age was a factor in the breakup.

If he'd never told you his age would you even have noticed that he seems more immature now? Was he always acting like this and you've just started to notice more or is he becoming worse?

rs

I suppose it depends what you want in the next few years. Many women (not all women of course) when they reach their early 30's want settle down, get married and perhaps start a family.

Typically a 22 year old man does not want to even think about that kind of thing until at least his late 20's or early 30's. I think this is often where problems arise in a relationship when there is a significant age gap and the girl is older than the guy. It's not even that you may not want the same things in the relationship, it's that you may want them at very different times.

Of course, this may not be the case for either of you. You may not be even thinking about settling down and may never want to get married and have kids, but many people may assume this to be the case.

Also, I would not be surprised if his mum is not too keen about the whole thing. Mother's often seem to have a thing about their son's girlfriend being older than them. (tying them down too early or something)

Bottle_of_Smoke

rs wrote:

I suppose it depends what you want in the next few years. Many women (not all women of course) when they reach their early 30's want settle down, get married and perhaps start a family.

Typically a 22 year old man does not want to even think about that kind of thing until at least his late 20's or early 30's. I think this is often where problems arise in a relationship when there is a significant age gap and the girl is older than the guy. It's not even that you may not want the same things in the relationship, it's that you may want them at very different times.

Of course, this may not be the case for either of you. You may not be even thinking about settling down and may never want to get married and have kids, but many people may assume this to be the case.

Also, I would not be surprised if his mum is not too keen about the whole thing. Mother's often seem to have a thing about their son's girlfriend being older than them. (tying them down too early or something)

This man/woman speaks wise words. It's unfortunate but true.

Dudess

There seems to be more of a big deal made about women going out with younger guys than the reverse.

davyjose

If you do walk away from this just remember that it's your inability to come to terms with this and not anybody elses. As for the immaturity thing, it's quite likely that it's in your head. 22 is usually plenty mature to be in a decent relationship.

D Bronc

My Partner is a good few years older than i am and weve been together for 7 years now and have children together.
At first the age gap bothered me and i wouldnt go near his parents house for fear of what they'd say to me or thought of me:o but if you really want it to work you can make it work. The age gap isnt an issue any more. We moved away for two years and it was easier for us because no-one knew us and it was like a new start.

Eventually when we moved back people had gotten over the issue of the age gap.

When i did finally go to his to his parents house it wasnt like what id expected at all they were really friendly and welcomed me, it wasnt like the spanish inquisition at all:D

If you want him go for it dont worry about what others think, easier said than done i know because ive been there myself, but chances are you'll be the only one thinking of the age gap.

Hope it works out

BaZmO*

As Aaliyah said, "Age ain't nothin' but a number" but then again she was rumoured to be married to a 27 year old R. Kelly when she was 15.

But seriously, what does it matter what other people think? If you're ok with it (which tbh you don't seem to be) other people's opinions shouldn't matter.

Spicy Lauren

Thanks Lads, tis helping me a bit all this encouragement.
x

This must be one of the most regular "issues" in PI that comes up.

Forget completely about the age and ask the same questions that anyone should ask and that is,do I want this person,do I enjoy their company?
Have you got to a stage that you are thinking about them a lot when you are away from each other?
Do you look foward to meeting up? Are birds fluttering about and tweeting in the air each time you meet?
Etc etc

If those things aren't right-then you can consider walking.

BaZmO*

Tristrame wrote:

Forget completely about the age and ask the same questions that anyone should ask and that is,do I want this person,do I enjoy their company?
Have you got to a stage that you are thinking about them a lot when you are away from each other?
Do you look foward to meeting up? Are birds fluttering about and tweeting in the air each time you meet?
Etc etc

Do they get into the pictures half price?
Do they look good in their confirmation suit?

Spicy Lauren

BaZmO* wrote:

Do they get into the pictures half price?
Do they look good in their confirmation suit?

Cheeky!
lol

BaZmO*

Spicy Lauren wrote:

Cheeky!
lol

Well that's the thing. The worst you're going to get from anybody is some light hearted p1ss taking so there's really nothing to worry about.

Amy Elliott

Hi there,
I think you should just enjoy what you have for now and if it works out well and good , if it doesn't at leat you got to have fun while it lasted.
People will always judge when the woman is older than the man , and not vice-versa , very unfair I know , but then so are most things in this life . The things is he looks older than you ,so it's not like you look ridiculous together .
Give it a chance , may be the love of your life , which you could end up missing out on because of other peoples dumb- ass negative opinions

Amy