Dealing with Crippling Nervousness

LegacyUser

I'm 26, male and due to mainly chronic acne as a teenager and other less important factors growing up, I have absolutly no confidence and spend most of my life in a constant state of anxiousness, worrying about upcoming social things and what people think of me. Examples - if I need to make a phone call to someone I don't really know, I spend half an hour pacing back and forth planning what to say, I'm generally having palpitations during this and when I get on the phone I usually run out of breath I get so nervous. In social situations, in a one on one conversation, I'm so preoccupied worrying what people are thinking that I have trouble actually thinking of things to say at all and chattin to women, forget about it. Latley if some social event comes up I just don't bother because I'm sick of feeling nervous about them and this isnt good. Everything from going down to the shops or going for a pint, I get that sick feeling of anxiousness, my mind is consumed with what everyone else thinks of me and I don't want to be thinking like that, I want to be free of this and just be who I am. Any advice? I hear there is some very good over the counter things from chemists or even places like health shops you can take to help with nerves but I dont know of any.

Victor

Everyone has something to be self conscious about. However, for you it seems to be affecting your ability to get on with you life. Give your GP a call and ask if he can recommend a course, counselling or other measure.

Knockoff Nige

The best advice I could give you would be to realise that anyone you could ever talk to is your equal. If you feel that you are getting in someones way or holding them up by simply having a conversation then remember, thats their problem. You have to live your life and get what you want from it. You have to ask people for things for that to happen.

A trick I always use when calling someone is to ask 'are you free to talk?'. If they say yes, you have them for as long as you need. You give them the opportunity to say 'can I call you later?' and so its up to them to say it.

You have the ability to be as friendly and as interesting as anyone else. Being nervous around people only makes them nervous. Dont be afraid to use your voice. If you dont use it, noone knows you are there.

I have met people with many bigger issues than acne and see them grow into very popual and confident people. But thats not because other people 'allow' them to. Its because they take responsibility for their situation themselves and get fed up with simply being afraid. They decide to be nice, friendly, approachable and powerful people. Be like that and the ladies will be all over you, no matter how you think you look.

KilbarrackBlows

I had a simaler problem with myself was self concious for years and would get physcialy sick at the thought of going somewhere to socialize or talk to people i wasnt comfterble around.

Basicly you need to realise
No one thinks anything of you when they meet you
no one care's or probaly notices how anxious you are
people dont stare at you or talk about you ...

i use to think all of the above but once you realise people are to busy with there own life to notice or care if your being anxious or having a panic attack
you can stop being so self concious and relax.

Also if you are this nervious i sugest you talk to your gp
instead of looking for over the counter stuff

Pinker

An appointment with a counsellor would be a good step, also the book 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers would also be very useful, it is easy to read and contains a lot of practical advice...

D Bronc

Knockoff Nige wrote:

The best advice I could give you would be to realise that anyone you could ever talk to is your equal. If you feel that you are getting in someones way or holding them up by simply having a conversation then remember, thats their problem. You have to live your life and get what you want from it. You have to ask people for things for that to happen.

A trick I always use when calling someone is to ask 'are you free to talk?'. If they say yes, you have them for as long as you need. You give them the opportunity to say 'can I call you later?' and so its up to them to say it.

You have the ability to be as friendly and as interesting as anyone else. Being nervous around people only makes them nervous. Dont be afraid to use your voice. If you dont use it, noone knows you are there.

I have met people with many bigger issues than acne and see them grow into very popual and confident people. But thats not because other people 'allow' them to. Its because they take responsibility for their situation themselves and get fed up with simply being afraid. They decide to be nice, friendly, approachable and powerful people. Be like that and the ladies will be all over you, no matter how you think you look.

Some sound advice there.
But you REALLY need to go to your doctor he/she can help, no need to be nervous you'd be surprised by the amount of cases just like yours they see every day. You've already posted here because you realise you need help now all you need to do is, as was said before, use your voice and ask for it, there's nothing to be ashamed of, everyone needs help from time to time. Best of luck and please see your GP immeditately.