Lesbian disrespect

LegacyUser

I have a few lesbian friends and acquaintances who I hang about with. What bothers me is they talk about women the way that misogynistic men talk about women. They call them c***s g**s whores etc... and ask questions like did you get your shag? etc... This kind of talk has disgusted me in the past when listening to male straight friends and it just seems a whole lot worse coming out of the mouths of women. Anybody else notice this or is it just the nature of the scene? Sometimes the behaviour is just as bad. It's an odd subversion of gender identity...I say nothing but I can't stand it.

Stark

Can honestly say it's not something I've encountered.

Nevyn

You seem to be of the opinion that women can not be misogynistic or arseholes,
they can irregardless of their sexual gender preference and it need not be a subversion of gender at all.

claire h

Not really familiar with that, unless it's a joking sort of thing, which your case clearly doesn't appear to be... not sure why it's worse to have women saying these things rather than men though.

Boston

I've found that women in general will use terms like whore and slut more then men, but probably in a different context. Talking about sexual partners in that fashion isn't something I view as very mature, but I've not talked to many lesbian women of late, so I've not noticed this.

I'm just wondering, do we need this discussion on such homophobiac stereotypes? I doubt it. I would suggest that the OP rents a copy of 'Mean Girls', written by SNL's own Tina Fey. And maybe pick of a Rosalind Wiseman book. OR, the OP could just gather up some more friends to balance out their fears.

And it's okay to be fearful of lesbians. Shir, I'm afraid of myself 50% of the time(!)

Boston

You don't strike me as being female, let alone a lesbian.

azezil

Boston wrote:

You don't strike me as being female, let alone a lesbian.

lol... what gave it away!

Meanwhile, I know a few lesbians myself, can't say I've heard them talking that, I occasionally here some young guys talking like that, but they're just teenagers! It really depends on the company you keep.

anotherlostie

I would have said the opposite actually. Whereas gay guys are liable to bitch about each other and everyone else, the lesbians I know are generally extraordinarily empathetic and rarely have a bad word to say about anyone, least of all other members of the female sex. Having said that I don't know any of the really scary looking ones, so my experiences may be more limited than those of 'bikerboi''.

Talliesin

You mean they were lesbians who somehow didn't take the magic Sisterhood-rules-ok pills?!!!!!!!!11111ONE

spurious

Can't say I've ever encountered it.
Really just sounds like you need to change your friends.

monkey tennis

It's not the norm, but there are small proportions of sour-pussed sh1tes in all walks of life, why would lesbians be any different?

bikerboi wrote:

and ask questions like did you get your shag?

Dunno why you'd have a problem with this, people of both genders and all sexual preferences say things like it.

damien

Boston wrote:

You don't strike me as being female, let alone a lesbian.

Says the non-lesbian male that tried to join SapphicIreland.

Boston

Yes, says I.

shoegirl

bikerboi wrote:

I have a few lesbian friends and acquaintances who I hang about with. What bothers me is they talk about women the way that misogynistic men talk about women. They call them c***s g**s whores etc... and ask questions like did you get your shag? etc... This kind of talk has disgusted me in the past when listening to male straight friends and it just seems a whole lot worse coming out of the mouths of women. Anybody else notice this or is it just the nature of the scene? Sometimes the behaviour is just as bad. It's an odd subversion of gender identity...I say nothing but I can't stand it.

Don't know who you hang around with, but after over 10 years on the scene in Dublin, London and Cork, this isn't something I've encountered - well have heard the occasional misogynistic remark, but it was usually pounced on and punished, but certainly nothing like this.

What I have come accross is the occasional individual who was selfish enough to use individual women but even in those cases they didn't use language like the above.

juuge

As a questioning male, would it be generally felt within the lesbian community that the likes of Nell McCafferty did more harm than good in promoting the rights of lesbians?

spurious

I don't think Nell ever came out really - it was O'Faoláin's book that publically outed her. My granny would have seen Nell as what she called a 'women's libber' - I don't think she knew anything about who she had relationships with.

Nell mainly campaigned/campaigns for women's rights and human rights in general, rather than specifically 'lesbian' rights, whatever they might be. I think most of the Irish public around at the time she was most active would associate her with the contraceptive train, rather than any lesbian-focussed campaign.

juuge

spurious wrote:

I don't think Nell ever came out really - it was O'Faoláin's book that publically outed her. My granny would have seen Nell as what she called a 'women's libber' - I don't think she knew anything about who she had relationships with.

Nell mainly campaigned/campaigns for women's rights and human rights in general, rather than specifically 'lesbian' rights, whatever they might be. I think most of the Irish public around at the time she was most active would associate her with the contraceptive train, rather than any lesbian-focussed campaign.

Sure I agree - however I always believed it to be unfair the way Nell coupled lesbians with men-haters, as somehow you can't have one without the other.
Her last couple of appearances on the television with Pat Kenny were examples of this and I would cringe at the way Pat would crawl on his hands and knees to apease her. Perhaps Pat has some issues to deal with.

Boston

That name sounds familiar, isn't she a total loon?

juuge

Boston wrote:

That name sounds familiar, isn't she a total loon?

That's right - she sure is. Yet I'm sure she has a following, sad really.