what should i do?

his-lil-lady

its long but please give ur opinion!!!

k so heres the thing - basically i have this friend and she used to be my best friend and not too sure where i stand now....

we used be joined at the hip then i started to go out with my boyfriend but i always made sure not to leave her outa things and we still had girly nights and im certain that i didnt do the whole dropping my best friend for a guy
then right before the end of the summer i started noticing all of these lil snide remarks that she was making about him and about one of my other best friends.
i asked my boyfriend what did he think and he just didnt say anything and i asked my other friend who she was making all of these remarks about and he told me that she was always like this and that i never noticed it.

then i was meant to move in with her this september but i soon realised that i couldnt cos as much as i love her i wouldnt be able to live with her-shes a complete party girl which is fun but im already repeating the year and shes one of those people that convinces you to things for her and its just so hard to say no to her. also how was i meant to move in with her when she makes all of these comments about my boyfriend and my other best friend?

so it took me a while to tell her as i just didnt really know how to say it and i kinda didnt answer my phone for a few days which i know was completely stupid and i have tried to apologise to her for doin it but then she was all like oh i cant trust you any more...

but something that i dont get was is that she told me after the way i wasnt answerin my phone that she was thinkin of not moving in with me, which makes me wonder why she acted up sooo much when i told her.

then i get a phone call from her basically tellin me that if i move in with my other best friend(the other guy that she was making remarks about) that she dont know what she'l do and it was basically saying that she wouldnt talk to me ever again and the thing is is im moving in with him.

ive asked other friends what i should do and half of them are tellin me to leave her off and let her cool down and shel forget about it but the other half are telling me to just leave her to it cos shes not worth it...

so what do i do????

Huggles

his-lil-lady wrote:

its long but please give ur opinion!!!

k so heres the thing - basically i have this friend and she used to be my best friend and not too sure where i stand now....

we used be joined at the hip then i started to go out with my boyfriend but i always made sure not to leave her outa things and we still had girly nights and im certain that i didnt do the whole dropping my best friend for a guy
then right before the end of the summer i started noticing all of these lil snide remarks that she was making about him and about one of my other best friends.
i asked my boyfriend what did he think and he just didnt say anything and i asked my other friend who she was making all of these remarks about and he told me that she was always like this and that i never noticed it.

then i was meant to move in with her this september but i soon realised that i couldnt cos as much as i love her i wouldnt be able to live with her-shes a complete party girl which is fun but im already repeating the year and shes one of those people that convinces you to things for her and its just so hard to say no to her. also how was i meant to move in with her when she makes all of these comments about my boyfriend and my other best friend?

so it took me a while to tell her as i just didnt really know how to say it and i kinda didnt answer my phone for a few days which i know was completely stupid and i have tried to apologise to her for doin it but then she was all like oh i cant trust you any more...

but something that i dont get was is that she told me after the way i wasnt answerin my phone that she was thinkin of not moving in with me, which makes me wonder why she acted up sooo much when i told her.

then i get a phone call from her basically tellin me that if i move in with my other best friend(the other guy that she was making remarks about) that she dont know what she'l do and it was basically saying that she wouldnt talk to me ever again and the thing is is im moving in with him.

ive asked other friends what i should do and half of them are tellin me to leave her off and let her cool down and shel forget about it but the other half are telling me to just leave her to it cos shes not worth it...

so what do i do????

Ok that was kind of confusing but I think I get the jist.

You get a BF and you best friend gets jealous and makes remarks about him .... very immature but sadly it happens. She is in the wrong here.

You think twice about moving in with her....understandably. Thats fair enough, you probably shouldn't have ignored her for a few days, doing so you kind of made a bigger deal out of it than it was.

Plus, now your moving in with the other best friend it sort of looks like it was all planned behind her back (thats what she might be feeling)

I don't think there is much you can do, she sounds like a manipulative girl and your probably best off out of it.

You have common friends which is always hard but I am sure she will cool off and get on with it.

You could just explain you don't want to ruin ur friendship by living with her....

Miss Fluff

Tell her you really need to study this year and as a dear friend to you you fear that living together might jeopardise your friendship. Go and meet her just the two of you. She probably feels a bit excluded and is jealous of your relationship so try and make more time for her, just the two of you. If she then continues to bitch and moan, leave her be.

comongethappy

She sounds like she could be one of those toxic people - the type that drain you. It was rude not to answer her calls, and she has a right to be upset with you for that. You should have told her in the beginning that you felt it wasn't a good idea for study reasons so she'd had a good amount of time to sort out her own accomedation. I'd say that the time you two are best friends is possibly over. It's sad, but people do grow apart and attiudes change. If you can be friends after this - great. You probably won't be best friends, but she'll be one of the friend you go to when you really want to let your hair down. I'd say if you stay close she'll probably drag you down with her . She sounds quite manipulative and jealous, and so it's probably good to get a bit of distance.

D Bronc

Probably not what you were prepared to hear but shes obviously not being a good friend to you. She has a case of the green eyed monster and i dont think moving in with her (a really bad idea) or giving her endless reassurances will help her warm to your bf. Shes not the centre of your attention anymore and thats not something you should feel guilty about, its natural. You tried to include her and make her welcome but she dosent want that she wants u to herself again and that cant happen so you have to let her go. Im sorry:(

Firetrap

Don't assume that just because someone was your best friend when you were younger that you'll always be best mates. Some friendships last a lifetime, some don't. You'll see this for yourself when you get older (I'm assuming here from the bebo spelling that you're still quite young )

It's clear that your friend is seriously miffed at not being top dog in your life anymore and isn't mature enough to handle this. I can understand why she's annoyed about the accommodation thing though.

Have you tried explaining to her why you're not going to share with her? It would be better to be straight with her - that passing your exams this year is your priority, that you won't be in party animal mode this year and that you'd prefer to live in a quieter place where you can study and get a good night's sleep.

If she's still being horrible and bitchy, you'll have to re-evaluate things and accept that the friendship has run its course and that you'll have to move on. The funny thing is, I think you're doing that already.