The sad passing of....

kleefarr

Author unknown

I am 65 years old. My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions.
It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed until today . I read his obituary.

Obituary - Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

FlutterinBantam

I was at his funeral 5 years ago...sadly missed.

Duggy747

I missed his funeral but I managed to be there for the anniversary, however not a lot of people were there either. Will be sadly missed, one in a million character!

Femelade

i sent a wreath.

super_furry

Christ, it's bad enough people e-mailing you sanctimonious crap like this, but now you invade my interwebnets? Get a blog. Oh and if you repost this five times in the next hour, someone will tell you they love you.

J.S. Pill

I get the feeling that that was lifted straight from the Telegraph or Daily Mail.

Naos

*pukes*

Pherekydes

I'm pretty sure he's not dead.

He posts regularly on the Athletics forum:

Common Sense

WindSock

So does that mean that common sense was around when they drowned people whom they thought were witches but turned out not to be if they died?

Mossy Monk

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, the meaning escapes my mind.

arybvtcw0eolkf

This is actually scary!
Only in the U S A can they be so stupid

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stellas are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired The Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits In the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Crumble Froo

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument

*titters*

Dudess

The opening point is fair enough (especially when you consider what Mairt posted) but yeah, it could have been delivered in a far less sanctimonious and po-faced manner. I agree - very Daily Mail. More Daily Express than Telegraph.

mike65

I did a google I did

http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?p=2040563



Mike.

Karoma

I really don't see why AH should be the stage for drivel that is irritating in chain e-mails - there is clearly enough other types of drivel.

worben

Mairt wrote:

This is actually scary!
Only in the U S A can they be so stupid

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stellas are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired The Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits In the United States.

Here are this year's winners:
<snip>

These are not true, see

http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

The True Stella Awards

http://www.stellaawards.com/