night terrors ??

hellbell123

i was wondering if any one had any ideas on my problem..

heres the gist..my daughter who is 7 and has been sleepig in her own room happily for ages has suddenly developed a real terror of sleeping on her own..im really baffled by it coz i cant think of anything that might have caused it

every night is a battle to get her to bed and the child is genuinely terrified and convinced theres something in her room i.e strange noises,toys moving,cd player opening by itself etc ..it sounds bizarre but im pretty worried

have tried talking about it with her and have gone round the room with her countless times searching in order to reassure her but all to no avail..

any suggestions would be great..
helen

DinoBot

hellbell123 wrote:

i was wondering if any one had any ideas on my problem..

heres the gist..my daughter who is 7 and has been sleepig in her own room happily for ages has suddenly developed a real terror of sleeping on her own..im really baffled by it coz i cant think of anything that might have caused it

every night is a battle to get her to bed and the child is genuinely terrified and convinced theres something in her room i.e strange noises,toys moving,cd player opening by itself etc ..it sounds bizarre but im pretty worried

have tried talking about it with her and have gone round the room with her countless times searching in order to reassure her but all to no avail..

any suggestions would be great..
helen

When we moved house my then 8yr old loved his new room but then out of nowhere he started to worry about spiders being able to climb up onto his bed. This got so bad that we had trouble getting him into the room at all never mind sleeping in it.

So I had the idea of "de-spiderfying" the room. We took out all the stuff, bed and all and I put down "special oil" to keep spiders out. When we put the room back together I made sure to have his bed in a different position so the room looked different. Then I put a special pillow down the side of the bed to stop all insects.
Worked a treat.

Perhaps you could find a pseudo cause for her fears and get rid of it ? I think at that age their mind is getting more advanced with the story telling plus they are looking for new ways to get parents attention. I would think on some level she knows it may not be true.

ceidefields

Our son is eight and this happened to him too last year (so when he was seven). It was around the time he realized suddenly that we're all going to die some day. Of course when he was frightened, he said he could hear noises in his room. Anyway, I lay beside him for about ten minutes until he went to sleep and that seemed to do the trick. I only had to do this for two months and then he was back to his old self. Usually ended in me falling asleep too tho...

Femelade

Is there any chance that things *are* moving around in her room? The paranormal forum would have a field day with this.
I like Dinobots idea, is there anyway you can put her into a different room in the house, swap with a brother or sister..?
My dvd player opens every so often in my room, it could be in the middle of the night, frightens the bajesus outta me, and the other night, a deodorant can flew off the dresser in my room (it didnt just fall off, it landed on the other side of the room!!) , there were no windows opened and the door was shut too...shook me up a bit. so i can only imagine how your daughter is feeling if she is *imagining* all these things, they might seem very real to her.

Nevyn

My son suffered from the monsters under the bed for a good while.
I would go up the stairs before him yelling to the monsters that I was coming up and they had best be gone from his room when I got there or I would tell thier monster Mammys' and they would be in big trouble and they would leave.

We also have 'dream crystals', basically they are two rose quartz crystals on thongs and if they have a bad dream or they can't fall asleep or are worried about having abad dream they will hang it on the side of thier bed to help.
They believe that they work and so they do.

hellbell123

Femmy wrote:

Is there any chance that things *are* moving around in her room? The paranormal forum would have a field day with this.
I like Dinobots idea, is there anyway you can put her into a different room in the house, swap with a brother or sister..?
My dvd player opens every so often in my room, it could be in the middle of the night, frightens the bajesus outta me, and the other night, a deodorant can flew off the dresser in my room (it didnt just fall off, it landed on the other side of the room!!) , there were no windows opened and the door was shut too...shook me up a bit. so i can only imagine how your daughter is feeling if she is *imagining* all these things, they might seem very real to her.

i seriously hope not !!:eek:

but im definatly getting some good advice..i am going to be swapping her room at some point as i have two boys the youngest is 7 mnths so they will end up sharing the big room maybe i should swap over sooner than i intended

have tried searching round the room with her making sure theres nothing there and making it into a bit of a game which she seems to enjoy but when it comes to actually sleeping there its no go..

and yes it does seem very real to her ..you can tell when your child is really scared..am going to try out a few of these suggestions though then my next move might be swapping rooms..

di11on

What I've read of child psychology is that irrational fears can be rooted in a child's repressed anger at someone or something. Generally the way it works is that the child is angry at mummy or daddy or whoever about something... but they don't like this angry feeling they have and feel guilty about it, so they project it on to something else (not consciously obviously)... like dogs or boogie men or whatever... so rather than mummy, or her angry feelings, it is the dog she's afraid of and the child is a lot more confortable with that fear! It seems irrational because it's been abstracted from the root cause.

The way to deal with it, is to talk to your child. Explain that it's ok and natural to be angry... everyone gets angry. Ask her is she upset with you or daddy or someone else about something... try and have an open atmosphere where anything can be discussed without the fear of being told you're bad or wrong for having this or that feeling.

I remember one thing that bugged me terribly as a kid. Being driven up the wall by my siblings.. yelling that I hated them and being told: "You don't hate your sister"... "Give her a hug". There's nothing worse than being robbed of your feelings... having your feelings totally invalidated. The proper course would have been to try and see where the kid is coming from... show the child you've heard what they're saying and you're listening and that its ok and natural for your child to have those feelings: "You're angry at your sister because she took your toy- I understand, I'd be annoyed too if someone took something of mine...".

Hope it gets better soon... it's not nice seeing your little people being afraid.

hellbell123

di11on wrote:

The way to deal with it, is to talk to your child. Explain that it's ok and natural to be angry... everyone gets angry. Ask her is she upset with you or daddy or someone else about something... try and have an open atmosphere where anything can be discussed without the fear of being told you're bad or wrong for having this or that feeling.

i tried this last nite but it didnt go well tbh..she is still insisting that shes afraid because there is something in the room..its quite frustrating but im going to keep talking about it anyway

its been going on for nearly a mnth now and im wondering if it might be time to speak to the gp ??

littlebug

Does she have a nightlight. Something as simple as a lamp on or her bedrrom door open so plenty of light getting in from the hallway might make a difference.The light (or lamp) switch being with reach without having to get out of bed gives some control. If she wants her light on all night that's ok too. I've always had the spooks at night and still need the light within reach or indeed sometimes on all night... and I'm 37:o . In the dark silence at 3am it's very hard to be completely rational about these things.

hellbell123

hi there ..yes she does have 2 little plug in lights on either side of her room and we always leave a landing light on so the littlies can navigate their way to the bathroom

im pretty easy going and if she wanted to keep her light on it wouldnt be a problem..it doesnt seem like lighting is an issue as she has never asked for her light on the nightlights seem to be enough..

Nevyn

Have you tought about spending a nigth in her room with her ?
I had to do this with one of mine and it helped but it was done as a your room is really safe and just to prove it I will sleep here for one night too rather then her thinking you are going to sleep there and keep her safe.

littlebug

Those little plug in jobbies don't give off an awful lot of light and even the door open can cast a lot of shadows. My daughter has a lamp in her room with a 15w bulb on all night. It's enough to get rid of the shadows but the main light would be too much. Maybe it would be worth trying a lamp with the switch close enough for her to reach from her bed to turn off when she's ready to and on when she's spooked so she can see for herself that there's nothing there.
I don't think you should go to the GP as there's nothing actually wrong with her!

BTW I think the reason for me getting spooked is to do with my sleep patterns, i.e waking too quickly from REM sleep and thus still dreaming a bit so dreams and reality get a bit mixed up for a few seconds! If this is what is going on with your daughter I'm not really sure what the answer is... i'm still trying to figure it out!

hellbell123

ill try bunking in with her tonight to see if it helps any..
the thing is once shes asleep (in my room) she sleeps well and doesnt wake up..the problem is getting her to go into her room and go to bed

the last 3-4 nights she has actually sat on the landing rather than go into her room ..

littlebug

hellbell123 wrote:

ill try bunking in with her tonight to see if it helps any..
the thing is once shes asleep (in my room) she sleeps well and doesnt wake up..the problem is getting her to go into her room and go to bed

the last 3-4 nights she has actually sat on the landing rather than go into her room ..

Good idea. But if things start moving gtf out of there !

Femelade

littlebug wrote:

Good idea. But if things start moving gtf out of there !

yeah , like sorry to be saying this, but i would even be a bit wary sleeping in there! what if theings *are* moving around?
be prepared.

hellbell123

i was hoping i wouldnt have to think along those lines..:o

will seriously give thought to all your suggestions and give them all a go if i have to ..its really upsetting for me not to be able to give her any real reassurance

DinoBot

hellbell123 wrote:

ill try bunking in with her tonight to see if it helps any..
the thing is once shes asleep (in my room) she sleeps well and doesnt wake up..the problem is getting her to go into her room and go to bed

the last 3-4 nights she has actually sat on the landing rather than go into her room ..

I think it might be good for you to ask her for a solution. Approach it somewhat light-heartily however. Your story seems to be spooking some of the posters here (Big babies..:p ) so you don't want to spook your daughter as well.

Come up with a plan, and work it out that way. If she is finding it hard to think of one prompt her with some suggestions. Dont rule out moving room. I think she my be feeling the little baby is getting a bit more time than she is and now she has found a way to get some of that back

I know it can be a bit upsetting but I wouldn't worry too much yet. So far I haven't heard anything which would suggest a gp visit IMO. The age is spot on for these type of fears I think.

Nevyn

Have you tried giving her ownership of te room getting her to make a sign that says entry only with permission ?

My two know that no one or no thing is allowed in their room wth out thier permission ( there is the parent exception clause for cleaning ect ) everyond else has to be invited.

hellbell123

DinoBot wrote:

Come up with a plan, and work it out that way. If she is finding it hard to think of one prompt her with some suggestions. Dont rule out moving room. I think she my be feeling the little baby is getting a bit more time than she is and now she has found a way to get some of that back

this is what i had been thinking ..the two boys do take up a fair bit of my time during the day and so when their settled in the evening it should be her turn..maybe setting aside a day when she gets my full attention might help ?

Victor

littlebug wrote:

Does she have a nightlight. Something as simple as a lamp on or her bedrrom door open so plenty of light getting in from the hallway might make a difference.The light (or lamp) switch being with reach without having to get out of bed gives some control.

In true 'night terrors' where you can't move (parts of your brain and eyes are awake but your motor functions aren't), this may not work. But it might for monsters under the bed.

Question. Are there any sounds like the plumbing system, downstairs TV that can be heard?

DinoBot

hellbell123 wrote:

this is what i had been thinking ..the two boys do take up a fair bit of my time during the day and so when their settled in the evening it should be her turn..maybe setting aside a day when she gets my full attention might help ?

Well, if your 7mth old is anything like my youngest was a full day of your time would be hard :-) Id start small and perhaps introduce some time in the evening where you spend time with her alone. It doesn't have to be too long I think.

hellbell123

Victor wrote:

In true 'night terrors' where you can't move (parts of your brain and eyes are awake but your motor functions aren't), this may not work. But it might for monsters under the bed.

Question. Are there any sounds like the plumbing system, downstairs TV that can be heard?

yes there would be general noises like in any house and the t.v is normally on of an evening but at a reasonable volume..the kids know that mums and dads like to stay up later than them to get a bit of quiet time

Deadevil129

Make sure everything's all right with her in school or with her friends.

When I was your daughters age a teacher put me sitting beside a down sydrome girl. I'm aware now that this wasn't the girls fault but the whole thing terrified me. The girl would steal all my pencils, took my English book and would hit me throughout the day. The teacher told me to ignore it, so I did and never said anything to my parents. One night during that week I woke up with an ant on my arm. I hated bugs so I went to sleep in my parents room and wouldn't go back to my bed for weeks. The ant was the excuse I gave my parents though, when in actuall fact I was stressed about everything else.

Might be worth looking into to see if something else isn't bothering your daughter.