Venue for a divorcee to remarry

howamidifferent

Probably been done to death but I've scoured Google for weeks and cannot find an answer. I'm male, divorced , raised catholic, looking to marry my gf and mother of my children. She's never been married and so would like the whole white wedding thing.

Catholic church doesnt do this so we know we must have a civil ceremony in a registry office. But we would still like to do the church wedding part if at all possible. Considering using Dara Molloy or Pat Buckley to hold some kind of ceremony if we can find a church that would allow us hold a ceremony or any other venue that might be nice.

Does anyone know of any venue like a private church/castle/hotel in the Cork/Munster area where we could do something like this?

Any idea's appreciated. Thanks.

Talliesin

I used to know Bishop Buckley when I was a kid. Nice guy.

Now. I'm not sure just what bits of "church wedding" are important to you. In totality two Catholics having a church wedding normally means, a consecrated church, a mass performed by a non-excommunicated priest, the catholic sacrament of marriage. Since your church considers you to be married the above can't happen unless your ex-wife dies or you have grounds for an annulment.

If you get an annulment then as far as the church is concerned your first marriage never happened. At best this will be a long and arduous process. At worse there will be no grounds for annulment recognised.

So. In terms of venue. In the UK (including Northern Ireland) you can get married just about anywhere with special license. A law is coming in soon that will allow this in this state too (you'll just need to have a health and safety inspection done). You may also be able to persuade a minister of another Church to perform the ceremony in their church, though the chances of that happening varies from minister to minister (they have their own flock to worry about more).

You mention a castle as a possibility. There's quite a few around this island that do this. Narrowwater Castle in Co. Down would be within driving distance for Bishop Buckley if you got him to do it (gosh, first Fr. Pat, now the Halls, this post is just full of people I knew as a child).

There are a good few Pagan priests and priestesses of various traditions who would perform a wedding, and you could contact the Humanist Association of Ireland for a Humanist ceremony. Presumably neither of these interest you, but just in case I figured I'd add it in. Certainly know an experienced priestess myself, and there's always the Fellowship of Isis as well.

Dara Molloy can be contacted at daramolloy@iol.ie.

Bishop Buckley at:
Bishop Patrick Buckley,
The Oratory,
Larne,
County Antrim

Estelle and Roger Hall of Narrowwater Castle can be contacted at info@narrowwatercastle.com See www.narrowwatercastle.com for more.

howamidifferent

Any one else got any advise , knowledge to share here?
Most people at this stage must have encounteredd couples who have or are facing the same deilema or at least have heard of such situations?

Any hotels out there who may know how this could be done?

Thanks

triona1

I am not sure if you will find a church that will do what you want.But i know you can have pat buckley do a blessing in the gardens in the station house hotel in kilmessan co meath.have heard a few people who have done this.And they said it was beautiful.hth

triona1

Just also sent you a pm

Spyral

you wont be able to get married in a Catholic Church. In additon if you did get annulled you would have to be attending church and vow to raise your children as catholic and to be open to children (that is no contracepton)
You didn't mention what your religous state is other than you are Catholic (but you are divorced which is non-catholic so its hard to know!)

as for the white wedding unless you convert to another religion that allows divorce I dont know.

That said if your wife to be is Catholic then you cannot marry her as Catholics should have the sacrament of marrage before sex or children anyway but seeing as that hasn't stopped you I think you would be best asking a judge or something to do a civil ceremony and perhaps you could get it dont in a church but I doubt it would be a catholic church.

Additionally that bishop guy seems a bit dodgy. He cannot validly marry you as a Catholic if you are divorced unless your wife dies or the marrage is annueled (which has specific requirements)

EDIT: i did some checking that bishop is excommunicated. Any ceremony he performs is not valid.

CathyMoran

Spyral wrote:

you wont be able to get married in a Catholic Church. In additon if you did get annulled you would have to be attending church and vow to raise your children as catholic and to be open to children (that is no contracepton)
You didn't mention what your religous state is other than you are Catholic (but you are divorced which is non-catholic so its hard to know!)

as for the white wedding unless you convert to another religion that allows divorce I dont know.

That said if your wife to be is Catholic then you cannot marry her as Catholics should have the sacrament of marrage before sex or children anyway but seeing as that hasn't stopped you I think you would be best asking a judge or something to do a civil ceremony and perhaps you could get it dont in a church but I doubt it would be a catholic church.

Additionally that bishop guy seems a bit dodgy. He cannot validly marry you as a Catholic if you are divorced unless your wife dies or the marrage is annueled (which has specific requirements)

EDIT: i did some checking that bishop is excommunicated. Any ceremony he performs is not valid.

They do not specifically ask you about contraception when you are having your prenuptual enquiry form, plus our parish priest knew that we were living together before we were married, I think that he was just happy that we were getting married!

OP - may be you could try a church blessing afterwards or try a humanist ceremony which I have heard is very good. I would not reccomend just a registry office wedding, I went to one of them and it was over too fast and was horrible.

Zambia

Mate there is a church on Stephens green Dublin that marries all religon's. Leave the stephens green centre walk right a little way till you see a church on your right.

Go in and ask them

best of luck

rubyred

Friends of my bf's parents (follow that?) are getting married in Belvedere House in Mullingar. He was previously divorced. It is in front of a Registrar (I think) but not in a registry office so you can make it look like a church with the pews and aisle and all that.

nesf

CathyMoran wrote:

They do not specifically ask you about contraception when you are having your prenuptual enquiry form, plus our parish priest knew that we were living together before we were married, I think that he was just happy that we were getting married!

That was pretty much the vibe at the meetings before our son's baptism. So long as we were considering marriage at some point they were happy enough. The vast majority of priests I've known are very much realists when it comes to things like this.

piskins72

howamidifferent wrote:

Probably been done to death but I've scoured Google for weeks and cannot find an answer. I'm male, divorced , raised catholic, looking to marry my gf and mother of my children. She's never been married and so would like the whole white wedding thing.

Catholic church doesnt do this so we know we must have a civil ceremony in a registry office. But we would still like to do the church wedding part if at all possible. Considering using Dara Molloy or Pat Buckley to hold some kind of ceremony if we can find a church that would allow us hold a ceremony or any other venue that might be nice.

Does anyone know of any venue like a private church/castle/hotel in the Cork/Munster area where we could do something like this?

Any idea's appreciated. Thanks.

Isnt the new Law about civil cermonies meant to be coming in later on this year? so you mite be able to look into having the civil cermony outside of a registry office or something? i think there was a thread relating to that some place else on this site. its worth looking into anyways. I got married abroad and had a wedding blessing on the return.

piskins72

http://www.groireland.ie/ you mite get some info there as regards the civil side of things and also search www.weddingsonline.ie as they have a good few threads on it, you mite find some venue mentioned in it.

Spyral

They do not specifically ask you about contraception when you are having your prenuptual enquiry form, plus our parish priest knew that we were living together before we were married, I think that he was just happy that we were getting married!

no but are expected to be attempting to live a Chaste life. Addionally you are supposed to be open to children and to raise any of them as catholics. That can be difficult if you dont practise yourself and artifical contraception is considered to be closed to children.

Addionally it being a sacrament it is preferable to be free from mortal sin before recieving it.

(Im not judging anyone just stating church opion and teaching)

nesf

Spyral wrote:

no but are expected to be attempting to live a Chaste life. Addionally you are supposed to be open to children and to raise any of them as catholics. That can be difficult if you dont practise yourself and artifical contraception is considered to be closed to children.

Addionally it being a sacrament it is preferable to be free from mortal sin before recieving it.

(Im not judging anyone just stating church opion and teaching)

Yup, but it's hardly a mainstream catholic view in this country tbh.

Spyral

Yup, but it's hardly a mainstream catholic view in this country tbh

there is no mainstream..